Chapter 1: Loneliness

Caleb Blake

First day

All I could hear was the sound of shoes pounding against the sidewalk. I was alone, but not alone. Someone was here, someone without a face. A body and an unsubstantial mass. I ran so hard it felt like my lungs were being torn from my body while I was still alive. I ran in the gray light that didn't reveal whether it was dawn or dusk. I ran as if my life depended on it – perhaps it did. I knew where I was going, just not how to get there. I turned the corner, searching for the entrance. This wasn't the right place. I turned again to check if I'd lost my pursuer because the sound of footsteps had silenced. I tried to catch my breath before I started running again. I needed to get there before it was too late. I knew that, I just didn't know what I would be too late for. I braced myself against my knees and my eyes trailed down a dark alley way. There... it was there! I flung my body into motion again toward the end of the alley. Before I knew it I was being pursued again. I slammed my body hard against the wrought iron door. It wouldn’t budge. I was distracted momentarily and I stared up to see a sign on the top of the building, it was blinking loudly against the dim light. HO EL... huh? HO EL – What the hell did that mean? Oddly hypnotized by the blinking light, I forgot my pursuer had to be gaining up on me again. Wait, there was no sound of footsteps... just silence. I continued staring up at the sign, noticing something behind the blinking. I squinted to focus my weak eyesight. I realized what it was. It was a name: Hotel Persia. In the core of my being, in the center of my bones I knew this was in the right place. I was suddenly horribly aware my pursuer was close again. The unsubstantial mass was so close, I could feel it, taste it on my tongue. It was strange, I wasn't afraid or terrified. No, I didn't care. I just needed to get through this fucking door.

I slammed my shoulder against the hard steel again, yanking and pulling violently at the handle. Nothing seemed to budge. I kicked and screamed at the inanimate thing; but it didn't listen and it didn't let me through. I searched around. There had to be another way in, wasn't there?

Oddly morphed, I opened my eyes to a new setting. I was suddenly storming up a set of stairs. A chill seeped through the fabric of my shirt and my breath made a fog as I exhaled in the unnatural cold. I was so goddamn cold and my black shirt was useless against the freezing wind. Ascending the stairs at immense pace, I flung the door at the top floor open, expecting it to be heavy and strained, but it was light and smooth. I literally went through it like a Jack in a box. Instinctively, I knew it was here that I needed to be, only not what I needed to do. I squinted as my eyes seemed to betray me and I saw a shape, but I couldn't see what it was. Was it human or an animal? What was it? At the crack of a whip, it turned to face me in the dim light.

“Save me.” It whispered desperately.

I jolted off my bed with the words “save me” ringing in my ears. I rubbed my eyes trying to make sense of the strange dream, or was it a nightmare? I couldn't be sure. I looked around checking whether I was really awake, or if this was another weird change of direction in my too-real dream. No, everything looked the way it did when I'd gone to bed. I sat down the same time as a serious head rush made my vision darken and my head whirl. I tilted down on my back, crawled into bed again, pulling the covers over my head. Closing my eyes tight and instantly saw the creature calling for salvation. Mentally, I squinted to see if I could make out the contour of the being when a rude awakening tolled and my alarm went off. It reminding me another day in which I didn't want to participate was taking its beginning.

The shower did very little to dissolve my discomfort, but there was something I was looking forward to. This week mom would be home. She had promised. I would finally get to spend time with her. Not that I would ever admit that shit to anyone, I would never hear the end of it if I did.

The burning water trailed down my back as I washed, while trying to shake the clinging dream from my mind. I didn't want to have the words “save me” in my head all day. Who the fuck was I gonna save? I didn't even know what it was I had seen. How can you save something when you don't even know what is?

Going downstairs, I could hear someone roaming around. Good sign, that meant someone was home, maybe even fixing breakfast. I entered the kitchen expecting my mom, disappointed when I discovered Rosita, our housekeeper.

“Morning,” I mumbled gloomy and displeased. I scanned the kitchen counter, no sign of breakfast either.

“Mr. Caleb.” Rosita answered softly and smiled ruefully. Her weather-touched face pulling into a grimace I knew all too well, and it was one I didn't appreciate. I chuckled darkly and humorlessly. I knew what this meant. Fuck!

"You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I muttered under my breath. I hesitated for a brief moment. “Where's mom?” I asked, though I already knew the answer. Once again I was the one left out of the party. Rosita’s eyes fled ever so briefly to a note stuck to the cupboard. Mentally, I called it the cupboard of loneliness. Never once in my life, had my mom stuck anything to that cupboard that was good news. 

I tried to stop my face from folding into lines proclaiming my serious disappointment. I knew Rosita hated that face, and I hated I needed to make it. But I did, quite frequently.

“I'm sorry Mr. Caleb,” She said with an honest smile conveying nothing but sympathy.

“Thanks,” I mouthed as I tore the envelope down. I stared at my mother’s childlike handwriting symbolizing my name for a moment before I opened it.

Dear Caleb.

I’ve gone with your Dad on his business trip.

Rosita will stock the fridge for you.

Love Mom

PS. A “Beth” called last night.

“Stocking the fridge, and love? Huh?” I drawled sarcastically while staring at that word before Mom. It was a little insulting writing that word when she did nothing to show it. Besides, I wasn't super concerned with food when compared to my parents company. Why did they even bother to have me? They were never around anyway. I swallowed the lump in my throat and put on a brave face. Then I did what I always did, I told myself I didn’t give a shit. Even though I knew it was a flat out lie. If I chanted I don't fucking care enough times in my head, would I actually start to believe that I really didn't care?

I ignored Rosita and moved to fix myself some breakfast. I went for the cereal and started to scarf it down quickly and efficiently. So I, as fast as possible, could escape Rosita's pitiful stare. I knew she knew exactly how I felt right now. She had seen it so many times, it was utterly ridiculous.

Backing into my room again, I aggravated for actually believing this time she would be here. At home, with no one but me. Stupid, I was so fucking stupid. I knew better than to believe I would be a priority in her life, that I mattered. It was more likely to have two Thursdays in. one week, than her picking me over Dad. It was just plain moronic.

Oh... and having to deal with Beth. So not on my list for what I wanted to do today. That was just going to be torture. Not there was really anything wrong with Beth, she was nice. But hard as I tried; I had no feelings for her. It was like the part of my brain with the gene to fall in love was missing. I knew that having to look at her hopeful face when I told her off was going to be... well, unpleasant. I had done it before, seen the wishful adoring eyes when I shattered their goal of thinking I’d have any interest in being with them.

But why couldn't I just like Beth? I had tried. This time I had gone for the girl who was likeable and pretty. She was smart, and according to everybody else, wickedly so. But still there was nothing. It was like I was dead on the inside. What that hell was wrong with me? I regretted the fact that I'd actually made Beth believe there was hope for us to start dating. That her efforts had paid off. When I knew deep down, from the very beginning, the chance was slim to none. Stupid. That's all there is to it.

So three things that officially make everything about today suck:

One: I was the moron who had believed my mom, when she'd told me she was staying home just to spend time with me.

Two: I had to end the thing that never really began with Beth. And, with “not beginning”, I include the serious making out which occurred the other night.

Three: The one hundred and forty-seven new students were enrolling in our school today. And, with just about fifty percent of them being female, meaning approximately seventy-three and a half of them would be staring at me. Great! No, I am not that fucking self-absorbed, but for some unfathomable reason, girls like me (and as mentioned, I was having a really hard time liking any of them back). That is truly uncomfortable.

Four: My name had been picked, and I was in the inane and stupid buddy system that was to ensure that the new students were integrated properly. No, having my name mixed in the buddy system isn't random, it's just the fucking luck I have in my life. Which is none!

Oh and that actually makes four reasons for today's sucking. Awesome.

Passing Rosita on my way to the garage, she was scrubbing a spotless floor, resting on her hands and knees. What was the point cleaning a house that already looked like no one lived here?

“Rosita?”

“Yes Mr. Caleb?” She looked up at me with her weather-beaten face.

“Um... er between us, maybe there is no need for that?” I pointed to the über-clean floor she was scrubbing free of invisible grime. She looked at me confused and then got up off the floor. I fished deep into my pocket, curling my fingers around the money. I slit the bills over the sparkling table top. “Maybe you should help you daughter or take your grand kids to the park or something.”

“Mr. Caleb, I don't understand.” She blinked rapidly and didn't touch the money.

“If I make a mess I promise I'll clean it myself,” I lured.

“But your mother... my job.” Her gentle, round eyes turned solid and had a bit of scare in them.

“This will be our secret, don't worry. Why don't you do something fun with your family instead.” I smiled wide, innocent, and gave the money another little shove. “Please,” I added. I had two motives; she should spend some time with her family, and I desperately wanted to escape her pitiful eyes. This really was the best for both of us.

She reached for the money like a newly recovered drug user for a fix. Slow and insecure, like it was a trap. I nodded. “It's okay, I'll call you before she gets back.” I gave her a peck on the cheek and told her to enjoy, before I headed for the door. In the garage, I smiled smugly when I eyed my car. Sure dad was pissed off, but I had gotten what I wanted. It was shiny. It was black. And it was pretty fucking cool. I traced my fingers along the hood of the sleek design, feeling the cool, glossy paint at the tips of my fingers. I climbed in and settled in the low seat. I inhaled the faint scent of the leather seat and braced myself for a day of torture.

School was a bit of a mess. The halls were filled with new faces, nervous ones. The new students were trying to find their lockers, or the auditorium. Or somewhere else. Not I cared; I wouldn't get to know any of them anyway. Not because I didn't want to. No, because I didn't relate to any of them. It would be the same as always.

I stuffed my sweater in my locker and went toward the auditorium. I just needed to make a short stop at the boys room before then. On the way I passed Harrison, who reminded me (reason number two why today sucked) that Beth was looking for me. I decided it was a problem I would push toward the end of today, if possible. Or I would simply avoid her.

Trailing out of the bathroom, I walked directly into what I wanted to avoid - Beth. She was standing in the hall, clutching her books to her chest and looking like she was going to hurl.

“Beth,” I said softly, while I mentally groaned.

She answered with a sad little smile not reaching her eyes. I figured it meant she knew what was coming. It had happened before, I had a bad reputation, it's just that no one knew the real reason why. I only wished she had the same feelings for me that I had for her, none. She would never be more than a friend, well not even that, really.

“Are you going to practice later?” She asked, in what I assumed was an attempt to dodge the subject.

“You know I am,” I answered while I tried to keep the irritation hidden in my tone.

“Oh,” She said looking up at me doe–eyed. She was fairly short with brown curly hair that only just reached her shoulders. I towered high over her, as I did with almost everybody. Only a few of my so-called friends from the team matched my height.

“Yeah... Beth I really need to go. The thing in the auditorium is starting,” I excused, trying to get out of a possibly sticky situation.

“Okay,” she answered without much sound. I quickly moved towards my escape. “Caleb?” She called behind me. I sighted and turned reluctantly. “We're not doing this... are we?” She put the words into my mouth, so the least I could do was be honest. I was glad she got the message much quicker than some of the other dim-witted blonds.

“No,” I said. “I'm sorry.”

“So am I... why?” She glanced up at me with those hurt eyes. I hated it. I knew exactly why she thought I wasn’t interested, and it was connected to the bad reputation part.

I hesitated while I stared at her. Beth was really pretty, she was honest, and I wished I could like her. She could be someone I could relate too, but I couldn't tell her all of that. I didn't want to upset her more than I obviously had. “Beth, you're really sweet and...” I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to bolt and be anywhere than here.

“Sweet, huh? Not sweet enough I guess,” she muttered darkly and chewed the inside of her cheek. It was obvious what she was thinking when she cocked a brow at me.

“Beth, it’s not like that,” I sighed and ran my hands over my face in exasperation. She was literally daring me to say that I wasn’t interested because she had said no to me.

“I seriously hope not, because that you make you an asshole.”

“I never said I wasn’t an asshole,” I muttered. I knew I was being an arrogant prick, but it was just easier if they hated me afterward. “Can we just not do this? I don’t wanna fight with you.”

“Then be honest, Caleb,” she challenged, with that confident don’t-fuck-with-me stare embedded in her eyes.

I felt my lip twitch into a ghost of a smile. There was something that set Beth apart from the rest of them. She wasn’t just going to sit on her ass and take what was coming. I decided to try something new. “Yeah... er Beth, I really tried... you know. I wanted to like you. I mean, I do like you, honestly. Just not enough. I know that sounds lame, but it's the truth,” I stuttered and ended my jumbled sentence with a shoulder shrug. Perhaps not an elegant way to end things, but I was an end nonetheless.

She nodded slightly. “Caleb... do you like someone else?” I noticed she was chewing away on the inside of her cheek again.

“Nope.” The poor girl had no clue how right she was.

“Okay,” she concluded, with a little sigh, seemingly content with that answer.

“I really need to go,” I excused, but I knew we would be late, since the halls were empty.

“I'll see you around Caleb,” she said in her tiny voice, passed me and then entered the girls bathroom.  Probably to bawl her eyes out, though, she didn’t really seem the type for that sort of thing.

I gave up on participating in the general welcoming of the new students, in favor of spending time going over the roster for the rest of the season. I tried to memorize the dates, taking mental notes on when I had to be at the very top of my game.

The hall started filling with sounds of students again, talking and laughing, giving me the okay to pretend I had participated.

I was headed toward Mr. Brenner's history class when I remembered that I had forgotten the paper I needed signed for the ridiculous buddy system. Was there actually a limit to how lame things could get? Guess not. Absorbed with wallowing in my own self-pity, I didn't see them coming. I didn't see her. My arm suddenly grazed hers and an extraordinary pull toward somewhere made my head automatically turn in the direction of the pull. I was stunned by the sight to say the least. A set of very unusual emerald-green eyes, set in an olive face, locked unwavering on me. Her eyes were wide with disbelief, and an unfathomable look was slapped all over her round face. To this day, I had never seen a face like that or seen eyes that particular shade of green. She was absolutely beautiful and unlike anything I had ever seen before. I kept trailing away from her, though it was the most unnatural feeling I had ever had. It was like running against the wind in a hurricane.

She tore her eyes from mine before I could stop my moronic staring. I opened my locker and stared emptily into it. I shook my head, as if to shake her from my mind. But all I could think... what was her name?

“I heard you dumped Beth,” the voice came from next to me and startled me. I hadn't heard Brian coming, even though he trampled like ten elephants on dry branches.

“What?” I spat.

“I said, I head you dumped Beth,” Brian repeated annoyed, indicating I was seriously impaired.

“Where the fuck did you hear that?” I asked, faking interest. I was still taken aback by the girl I had just seen.

“From the Beth's friend...what's her name again?” He said, rolling his eyes indifferently. I might be an insensitive dickhead, but I had some semblance of a conscience. That was more than I could say for Brian. He could be cold, mean and deviously calculating if he wanted to be.

“Yeah well, you can't really dump someone you're not really dating,” I threw in, not being fair or honest at all.

“Good one,” Brian cheered demeaning, like hurting someone’s feelings was a standard for measuring how cool you were.

I just shrugged in response, while slamming my locker shut. “I'm late for class,” I muttered.

“Hey, did you hear?” Brian continued following behind me like a cat for milk.

“Hear what?” I asked, impassive. I felt I had to participate in the conversation, though I didn't care what the answer would be.

“Among the new students there are Thumánn's,” he enthused. By the look on his face, he felt he was delivering the news of the year, but I just didn't give a fuck.

I inclined a brow at him, nonchalantly. “So?” I asked unimpressed, locking my deadpan eyes on him. I really couldn't care less. Deep down I was sure they were just like us, putting pants on one leg at a time. They were no fucking different, though the rest of the world seemed to think so.

“So... did you not hear me dude?” Brian babbled on. “Seriously, I think there are four or five of them. But there were two girls, you should have seen them, man. They were hot. One blond and one brunette. The blond had the hottest body I've ever seen, I'm so putting my all my talents toward her,” he beamed like an elated schmuck.

Everybody knew of the Thumánn's, but nobody knew them. They kept to themselves in their own city, far away from us. Everybody knew they were off limits, not that they even cared whether humans even existed.

“Good luck with that,” I cut him off, not wanting to hear another word about his goddamn escapades.

“Thanks Bro,” He said with an impish grin.

“If I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up though,” I stated dryly.

“Come on dude, lighten up.” He looked like a happy clown with his idiot happy-go-lucky attitude. “I heard once there were some of them living around here, out in the woods I mean.”

“I gotta go to class,” I muttered, irritated, and pushed the door open, leaving Brian in the hall considering exactly how to use his so-called talents.

“Ah... Mr. Blake, so happy you could join us,” Mr. Brenner rudely pointed out. Well, I was the one late for class.

“Sure,” I added trying not to be too sarcastic. I settled in the last seat in the front of the class, trying not to think about the girl I had seen in the hall. That extraordinary face and exceptional green eyes haunted my mind like mist from a swamp, sneaking into every cell of my body. I couldn't ignore the inexplicable pull toward her. I tried to claw her from my mind, That was when I realized I still felt it. From the back of the class I felt the same relentless pull as I had in the hall. Right then and there I knew deep down in my gut, she was in the classroom with me. I turned my head simply to confirm that my instincts were right. I met the emerald green eyes, and an incomprehensible calm spread in my mind. But she, sitting opposite me, looked disturbed, troubled. I instantly worried, what could trouble her? What would make her so upset?

Through the course of the hour, I couldn't stop myself from checking on her once in a while and every time I looked, she was staring right back at me. At one point it was so evident I could literally feel her penetrating gaze resting on my neck.

The bell sounded, informing class was at its end. “Oh... before you go. I forgot the buddy system. I need to see Elvirina Smith and Serenity Smith, and also Nikki Talbot… and Caleb Blake,” Mr. Brenner tolled in his tired, monotone voice.

Oh just fucking great. Mr. Brenner didn't forget the buddy program after all. What a shame. Trying to ignore the two girls who were placing themselves in front of Mr. Brenner's desk, like two little schoolgirls, I suddenly understood who would be in the buddy program with me. I had to admit, the buddy system seemed just a fraction more appealing with the outlook of having the stunning green-eyed girl being in it also. Before I could stop the movement in motion, I was already placed behind the girl. I took a short look at the striking blond slightly to my left. She absolutely had to be the epitome of a perfect creature. Long, very long, icy blond hair, extremely tall, with legs that surely went all the way to the top. As a cherry on the cake, she had dark brown eyes, lined with perfect, but odd, white lashes. There was a certain goddess-like stature to her. The question wasn't if guys would spend the majority of time of drooling over, but how many guys? Yes, she was stunning, but she did nothing for me compared to the girl with the emerald eyes. I had to fist my hand not to graze my fingers over her hair as she stood with her back to me. I stared at it, hypnotized. The extremely long, black strands looked so soft, so warm, as they trailed to stop just above her waist. The hair was thick, lush, and was perfectly straight – like she had spent hours making it bend to her will to get it to flow so flawlessly down her shoulders. Though, by a simple look  she didn’t strike me as a girl who would stress in front of a mirror and obsess over her looks for hours, perfecting her tresses this meticulously. It had to be natural. I let my eyes roam her body. Her clothes were so simple it was shocking. Nothing like the overly decorated bimbos that haunted the halls of this school. Just a simple, white t-shirt, that barely hugged her waist, and chinos without details or trims. How could someone look so fucking great with so little effort? My eyes fell on her shoes, and I frowned. Okay, I take that back, her shoes were a disaster. Worn and tattered ballerinas, clearly showing off that she didn’t give a shit. I smiled slightly at those broken things on her soles. It took guts to make a statement like that at this school. Kids here had money, myself included.

I tried not to be obscene and stare at her ass, but instinctively I licked my lips slightly when I assessed it. Under those clothes there was definite potential. It seemed wrong to judge her under the same microscope as any other female, but I was a guy and with needs to match.

“Which one of you is Serenity?” Mr. Brenner asked, breaking through my obsessing over this girl. The perfect blond creature raised a perfect finger. “Okay... you will partner with Nikki,” he said, pointing to a generic girl with a generic name. I'd seen her around, and by the look on her face; she was counting her lucky stars just about now.

“It is nice to meet you,” the blond goddess said, even her voice sounded serene. Huh, goes well with the name.

“Nice to meet you too,” Nikki stammered. I rolled my eyes. I knew Nikki, or not knew her, she was just a girl constantly trying to pick a conversation with me and I never had a goddamn clue how to answer her. It was becoming inane, having to deal with her pressing personality. Last week it was my car that was the topic of the week. I only shuddered to think what it would be this week.

“We'll get along just fine,” Blondie chimed. I noticed her eyes change as she spoke to the frazzled, generic girl.

“Mr. Blake,” Mr. Brenner turned his attention toward me, glancing over the shoulder of the beauty in front of me. I noticed her shoulders stiffen ever so slightly, “You and Elvirina have been matched. I guess you can take it from here.” A very tired Mr. Brenner grabbed his bag and abruptly left the class.

Elvirina. I turned the name around in my mind, even tried tasting it on my tongue, but I remained silent. The name rested in my mind with an indescribable familiarity. I liked the name, no correct that, I loved it.

“I'm Caleb,” I finally said. I watched the girl's shoulders go up in a slow motion and settle again, but she didn't turn toward me. I hoped desperately she would spin half a circle and face me; I desperately longed to see her face. To see what her expression would reveal, but noticed nothing. She wasn't like the hoard of girls staring, dumbfounded at me. She was the exact opposite, she wouldn't even face me. I had to admit, it struck a chord with me. And, it did not make me any less interested.

“Elvie?” The blond goddess-like girl said in a voice touched by exasperation. It seemed to thaw the girl to the point of movement, but apparently not the frozen, green eyes that met mine.

“Hello... I'm Elvirina.” The sound of her voice made the draw toward her stronger. It was deeper than her friend's, but sweeter, more innocent somehow. Her eyes were still cold though. I tried to deny the hurt, and I almost succeeded .Almost. I felt my smile falter a bit, but I was intrigued. She was mysterious. I never liked or even gathered interest in anybody, but so far I liked everything about her, even her name, Well, I didn't really know anything else about her.

I couldn't help but bei humored by the obvious display of cold-hearted behavior, but it looked so unnatural, so forced. Like a kitten trying to be a tiger. I pushed my lips together, trying not to smile or look offended. “Hmm,” was all I could manage. I broke the pull from her and stalked out of the room where I seriously needed to get my head examined. I was rattled to the bone by her mere presence.

I walked quickly to my locker, changing books and hurried to the exit. I needed a clear head and to think, just for a second. Just as everything else in my life, what I wanted, I didn't get. Brian caught me before I could breathe fresh air in this god forsaken place.

“Hey Caleb, where are you going – Wait up,” he called. I pretended not to hear him, but he followed me anyway. He half ran to keep up. “So did you see any of them?”

“See who?” I bit harshly, trying to escape his pursuit.

“The Thumánn's, are you not paying attention?” He grinned.

I wanted to wipe the smirk of his face with my fist, but decided against it. “No... and I don't fucking care,” I stated firmly.

“Come on dude how can you not care? It's all over school,” Brian continued.

“That's easy – I don't,” I retorted. I wanted to be alone. The fresh air had to wait as the bell announced it was time for my next class.

The day moved forward in a slow fashion. The girl Elvirina stuck to my mind like gum, and I fought to keep her out of my mind. I even tried to think of the odd dream I'd had during the night, but no matter what I did, she was there lurking with her emerald eyes. I didn't see her again and I was happy – well not happy – when the day ended. I was glad I had practice this afternoon. At least that would give me something else to think about.

Basketball was much the same as usual.  Brian's team almost beat us, and he was  obnoxiously gloating. But, in the final minutes I put my heart and head in the game and swiped Brian's team off the field.

Brian's lemon-sucked face soothed my temper, and I couldn't help reminding him Nemesis was a fucking bitch on my way out. He had gotten on my nerves today, but I was free now. As I was headed home to an empty house, with no one waiting for me, I wished today would suck a little less.