Chapter 9: Sweet Revenge

Elvirina 

After dinner, I finally got some much needed homework done. I didn't want to fall behind already. We had all been at my house for dinner, though everyone left shortly after. It had been awkwardly silent. I went down stairs where I was surprised to see Serenity sitting next to my mom leaning against her side. Joshwin, Chrystan and Illian were here too. I hadn't even heard them come back in.

“Hey there,” Chrystan said cheerfully, before he returned to the chess game that he was about to lose.

“Hey beautiful.” I heard Joshwin say with unmoving lips. I smiled shyly at him. In a heartbeat, I decided that now was my chance to really get back at him. I had plenty of times to make up for and the audience was perfect.

“Where's Dew and Junius?” I asked my mom.

“Dew went to Vasvár’s grave with Junius. He didn't want him to be alone,” she answered. Junius was still completely heartbroken and inconsolable. Women weren't supposed to sit by graves during the night. That was for the men. We avoided female hearts and souls being endangered by the darkness and sadness that potentially lingered around the graves.

“Oh,” I muttered. I noticed that Dad was sitting in his old worn chair and reading as usual. Serenity was cradled against my mother’s side and the guys needed to be the ones to notice. They were the ones who mattered. I pretended to pick a specific book off the bookshelf and sat down on the floor in the corner not far from my dad. I folded my legs underneath me, centered myself, clearing my head of any stray thoughts and opened the book. I started to pretend to read.

I let my mind flood with images from the night before. I thought about his warm lips touching mine, about how my heart fluttered and how I panted from his kiss. I raised my eyes infinitesimally from the book to gaze at Joshwin. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, but there was no noticeable reaction yet. I did as Serenity had suggested - I kicked it up a notch. I imagined myself naked and how I would look to Joshwin. He was a guy after all, so a little exposed skin had to have an effect on him. His imaginary hands moved across my stomach and rested against my bare chest, touching and caressing.

I glanced at him again through my lashes noticing his cheeks starting to flush, as he shifted his weight again. He leaned forward bracing his elbows against his knees. It didn't look like he was able to concentrate on the chess game anymore because now he was losing.

“Joshwin... Where's your head?” Chrystan complained at the sudden lack of competition.

“Sorry,” he muttered trying to control his breath. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Serenity catching on to what I was doing. She covered her face with her hands to stop her clear outburst.

“I'm so going to get you for this,” Joshwin basically snarled without even looking at me. I slapped an innocent look on my face, just in case he did look. His words made me go in for the kill. If he could play nasty, so could I!

I leaned my head far down over my book and closed my eyes. I imagined how enticing it would feel when Joshwin's hand would move down between my burning thighs. My imagination took me as far as visualizing him on top of me, as he pushed against my open thighs with his naked body. We were kissing passionately. My plan had one major downside... I was not left unaffected. It was getting increasingly hard to keep my breathing slow and rhythmical, because I wanted this beyond reasonable sanity. I wanted the images in my head to be real.

I dared another glance just to watch him squirm. His neck and face were flushed with heat and he was rigid in his chair with his jaw clenched hard. Muscles were locked around the bone.

“Are you okay, Joshwin?” Serenity asked sweetly, pretending to sympathize just in case something was actually wrong. All eyes flashed to him. In that second, I actually felt bad for him.

“I'm fine,” he hissed through his gritted teeth. I noticed to my great satisfaction that Illian and Chrystan were watching his every twitch. They started a chuckled at bit. I kept the delightful image of Joshwin moving against me, filling me and pushing in and out of me stabled to the inside of my mind. As long as I felt it, so did he.

“You might want to turn the page... if you're reading,” my dad said nonchalantly, flipping a page in his own book. Oh sweet Earth, no! Busted! And by my dad no less! All eyes turned to me... the not so unaffected me. I was just as rattled as Joshwin. My pounding heart lurched to a halt and I blushed the same shade of red from this morning. Anyone who had the faintest amount of doubt now knew that I was the puppet master. Chrystan and Illian fell off their chairs and crumpled with hysterical laughter. Serenity followed holding her stomach.

“Outside. Now!” Joshwin’s sharp command snapped privately. He was swiftly out off his seat and out the door. I followed tentatively behind him, like a puppy on a leash. I started chewing my lip feeling uncertain about how deeply I had hurt him. I didn't mean to antagonize him, but I just wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine for once.

Outside, the porch was empty. I walked around to the back where Joshwin was leaning against the wall with his hands balled into fists. He looked pissed. Perhaps, I had taken my little joke too far.

“Jos...” Was all I had time to say before he fast lightning shoved me against the wall. He had his hands firmly on my shoulders holding me tight against the wall. His normally oh so blue and glorious eyes were dark and hungry in their color. He stood there fuming with his breathing sawing in and out of his chest and stared at me with an intensity that I had never seen in him. I had definitely taken this too far.

“You really shouldn't do that,” he growled through his teeth. My instincts told me to be scared, but this was gentle Joshwin and the way that he looked at me was kind of turning me on.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered feebly. The intensity of his dark hungry eyes made the blood boil in my veins. We stood there with raging hormones waiting for the second one of us to dare to move.

I moved first. I threw my arms around his neck and hung myself off him. I kissed him forcefully, crushing my lips to his and plunged my tongue deeply into his mouth. With parted lips and only returned my fevered kiss with the same amount of urgency. He ripped me from the ground and I closed my legs around his waist holding myself to him. I was braced against the wall and Joshwin's burning body. I squirmed against his crotch as I felt him grind the hard ridge of his pants against the apex of my thighs. I moaned loudly into his mouth at the unexpected pang of excitement from Joshwin being so forward and primal.

With forceful greed, Joshwin yanked my shirt up, while moving his strong hands over my skin. He cradled my breast firmly and I groaned deeply in my throat. The caress was thrilling. I gripped his long hair wrapping myself closer around him. My head was whirling with the desire that none of us were controlling. Joshwin pinched the tip of my breast and pressed me harder against the wall. His mouth was like a burning iron against mine, setting me on fire. It was raw and carnal. I didn't put up any objections. I didn’t want to. Joshwin's breath was erratic and he moaned in response to the continuous grinding and squirming trying to quench our needs. I roughly yanked his shirt over his head. I’m not really sure how I managed it, but suddenly there was a lot of skin for me to taste. I pulled my mouth from his and started kissing his neck, while licking his soft skin. He kept kneading my breast making me want him even more.

“I think you should say good night, Joshwin.” I heard my dad’s deep and familiar voice slice through the darkness. I stiffened when registering that we were no longer alone. I felt all my urges run from my body like sand through a sieve. I knew my father’s ability to control anger and aggravation, but I guessed it worked with hormones as well. I could tell Joshwin also felt the control coming from my dad when he slowly released me from his pin-hold against the wall. He removed his hand from my breast. Feeling completely uncomfortable, I pulled my shirt back down, so I was decent and presentable again. Joshwin bent and picked up his shirt that I had discarded on the floor.

Dad had the back door slightly open, which let out a small stream of light, but his eyes peered respectfully against the porch floorboards. He didn’t look at us. Joshwin looked at me with eyes full of shame. “I'm so sorry,” he whispered in my head.

“It's okay,” I mouthed without sound. He didn't have much to be sorry for. I was the one who had started the whole thing. I had teased him and I had kissed him first. I didn't want him to feel like he had done something wrong, when I had been the one out of line.

“Joshwin.” Dad urged calmly, while politely saying it was time that he left.

“Goodnight,” Joshwin whispered before he swiftly kissed my forehead and rounded the corner disappearing into the darkness.

I wanted to be mad at my dad, but he made that completely impossible and all I was left with was embarrassment. I trotted towards my dad, wishing I could vanish into thin air. I didn't speak to him when I passed. Inside, I was surprised to see nothing in the living room had changed. Illian had taken over Joshwin's place in the chess game and Serenity was still leaning against my mother’s side and fiddling with her hair. I realized what felt like maybe an hour or two had been roughly ten minutes. I rushed through the room without looking around. I didn't want to face anyone right now. All eyes were on me as I slipped past them and up the stairs. They all knew what I had done.  

I threw myself on the bed and hugged a pillow to my chest. I was humiliated again. That was twice today. Would this frustration ever end? Besides the humiliation, I was shocked at the force between Joshwin and me. It was like nothing I had ever felt before and truth be told, it was a little scary. I bit my lip, realizing it was a little sore and swollen.

“Elvirina?” My dad called from the other side of the door, as he gave it a soft knock.

Oh no! “Yes,” I replied reluctantly.

“Can I come in?” I knew the question was rhetorical. It was just too rude and an utter lack of respect to turn him down.

“Yes,” I groaned and sat up on my bed.

“I'm sorry, daughter,” Dad apologized sincerely as he sat down next to me. “I didn't want to put you on the spot like that.” I nodded, while feigning that I understood. He did put me on the spot, but I would or could never blame him for it. He was my dad and my guidance, at least for a little while yet. I settled for smiling sadly instead of answering. “Your mom thought that it might be necessary.” He returned my sad smile with an apologetic one. “You're changing so fast. I think I miscalculated the situation.” He looked at my heartbroken eyes. He knew that he was going to let me go soon and so did I.

“I'm changing fast?” I questioned, while holding back on the sarcasm. I was the first person here to go through it. Well, the first girl anyway.

“Yes. There's a definite change from where your mom sensed you yesterday until today. The level of intensity from you is much more powerful today. That stuff normally takes a couple of weeks.”

“Huh?” I gaped moronically.

“You took about a day.” Dad stated and raised his brows.

“You and Mom are keeping tabs on me?” I wanted to complain, but I didn't.

“Yes,” he answered without shame or trying to hide it.

“Why?” As far as I knew, I wasn't breaking any rules or doing something that wasn't supposed to do. Yes, sneaking out in the middle of the night and making out with your soul mate was expected… well, sort of.

“Elvie, I don't think you realize how strong you can be, especially now.”

I just kept on gaping at him. Did I just hear him right, did he say I was strong? “Dad, I'm not... I don't understand.” My mind felt hazy. How could he think I was strong? I was just a confused girl.

“Listen, Daughter. Sending you to a normal school is fine and we chose it. We chose to live out here away from our own kind, but I worry that it gives all of you kids a disadvantage. I know that we explained to you what to expect at certain ages, but that doesn't mean you know what it's like because you've never seen anyone else go through the change with your own eyes. The change from being a child to becoming a woman is intense for our kind and can be hard to manage.” He put a fatherly hand to my cheek. I hoped that he wasn't thinking about sending away. Yes today, my home had made my skin crawl from all the sadness, but this was my home and I loved it. We all loved it.

“I'm not handling the change so well, am I?” I asked quietly.

“You're handling it fine. Just remember that you're really powerful and use your powers wisely.”

“I'm powerful?” I mumbled sarcastically.

“Very!” He exclaimed. I wasn't powerful. I was frustrated and that was all it was. ”Downstairs, you did that!” He didn't phrase his words as a question. He was merely stating a fact, but I answered anyway.

“Yes, I did. He's been teasing me and I wanted give him a taste of his own medicine.” I bit down on my slightly swollen lip. Dad gave me a disapproving look.

“Elvirina,” he groaned, while trying to hide his amusement. “You're supposed to forgive him, not get back at him.” I knew that he was right. This was one of the touchstones in our existence. Forgiveness. “Joshwin wasn't himself just now, was he?” My dad’s voice was firm when asking about Joshwin. Boy, was he right. I remembered clearly how his eyes had been dark and hungry.

“No,” I mumbled shamefully looking down at my hands. “He's usually... er, gentle.” I admitted sheepishly. My dad pushed my hair behind my ears, making it impossible to hide my face in it. “Is that what you mean by strong?” I tasted the word. It had a strange shape in my mouth.

“Yes.” Dad sighed. My palms were getting sweaty. Something horribly awkward was coming my way. I could just sense it. “You understand what it will mean when you make love with him, right?” Dad searched my eyes. “This will define you. The first time that you make love will cement the strength between Joshwin and you. It will complete your bond.” The lines in his face were as serious as his voice.

“I know, dad.” I mumbled with even sweatier palms. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes at him. I'd always known that particular experience was something very sacred and had a deeper meaning for Thumánns. This wasn't news to me. I knew all of this and it wasn't like I had avoided trying to get our bond cemented.

“I'm just making sure that you understand, Elvie. Nevertheless, you need to understand something else. You need to be careful. Being so powerful might come back to haunt you,” he said wisely.

“Dad, are you saying that I made him react that way?” I swallowed dryly, thinking about the level of need and the explosion of desire that had erupted between Joshwin and me.

“Yes,” he answered soberly.

I gulped. “Wow.”

“Yes... Joshwin is a good man, but still a man. Though, I know that he can handle himself. Whereas, others around you might not.” He gave me a stern look and his square jaw tightened. It made my skin prickle.

“Are you talking about kids at my school?” My brows furrowed and one name entered my mind - Blake!

“Humans at times finds us... fascinating and you can potentially be very appealing to someone who is fascinated and doesn’t know how to handle you and what you are going through.” He inclined a suggestive brow.

“Dad... I'm not going to do anything.” This time I did complain, even though I knew that I shouldn't. He was being ridiculous. It was unthinkable, so why even bother with the thought? It was them and us. Not both combined.

“I know. I'm simply saying that it has happened before... in the past. All I'm asking is that you be careful... with Joshwin too.”

“I'll remember that.” I promised, not getting deeper into this discussion.

Dad seemed lost in thought for a moment. “Your Mom did that to me... once,” he said, smiling. “You know the stunt that you just pulled with Joshwin.”

“How did you handle that?” I asked, feeling very reluctant about having this conversation. It was dangerously close to the too-much-information line.

“Much the same way that Joshwin did,” he answered, clearly reminiscing. … And now we just crossed the line. Parents making out... Ugh. I just didn’t need to know that. How gross!

“Thanks, Dad,” I squeaked, quite desperate to close the subject. I so didn't want to have that information in my head. It was impossible to erase from my brain. I would have to scrub the inside of my skull with steel wool to get rid of this.

“Daughter, if you have questions, I'm here to listen and I’ll answer anything that you’re curious about.” Dad offered gently. He rubbed his beard, while I nodded in response. “Okay, I'll leave you alone now,” he said. I could tell he understood that I wanted to have a moment to myself to think over things. All of this change stuff was really getting the better of me.

Dad left and closed the door behind him. I lay down on my bed again and studied the pattern on the quilt, while my mind moved over my latest action. Sure, Joshwin teased me, but my little game had backfired. I'd made Joshwin do things that he didn't want to do. I had made him be someone that he wasn't. Mom's words from two nights ago rang in my ears. Make sure it is okay with Joshwin, before you do anything.

I jumped off my bed and moved to my window. My fingers slid under the tiny opening pushing the frame up. I climbed out and jumped off the roof. The wind rustled leaves on the trees as I ran across the dark courtyard. I climbed the porch and from the railing, I eased up to the first story eave of Joshwin's house. I walked around the corner and saw the light was on in his room. I knocked on the glass and waited patiently.

Joshwin opened and poked his head out. “Apology accepted,” he whispered before his lips pulled into a breathtaking smile.

“Won't you let me say it?” I tried to beg innocently.

“It's not a big deal. I did kind of bring it on myself.” Joshwin climbed out and sat down next to me. I didn't want to argue with that. I might have taken things a bit too far, but he did deserve it. Beside that point, what just happened on the porch did put things in perspective. I shouldn't tease him like that either. So why not take a different approach to what was going to happen between us soon and be open about it?

“Come.” I reached my hand out for his.

“Where are we going?” Joshwin asked with surprise.

“The river.” I wanted to return to our magical place from last night. I wanted to be in the haven that Joshwin had made just for us. We jumped off the roof and ran toward the river.

We lit the candles again and to my luck, the plateau held the same magic as yesterday. My heart was overwhelmed with emotions, expectations and joy. I couldn't imagine my world not evolving around my soul mate. I loved him beyond all things. I always had, but now it was stronger and spiced with something very different.

For a little while, Joshwin talked animated about his afternoon with Chrystan and Illian and their discussion about Illian's soul mate. I listened, but my mind kept circling back to last night. I wanted more. I'd experienced what I could do not too long ago and I wanted to see just how persuasive I could be, but in an honorable way.

I looked up at the full moon. It was shining clearly from the cloudless sky. I didn't even need night vision, besides the candles would hurt my eyes.

Joshwin was next to me leaning back on his hands. The moonlight touched his skin and made him glow almost like silver in the night. He was excruciatingly beautiful and his love was mine. I had more fortune than I deserved. My heart danced in my chest again. I made a bold and non–shy move that two days ago would have been impossible, but today... not so much.

I got to my knees on the platform and straddled his hips. I sat with my legs spread across his lap in a very inappropriate position. All the shy and overwhelming embarrassment from this morning was gone. At this moment, I didn't feel like a girl, instead I felt like a young woman. I knew what I wanted and I would do my damn best to get it.

Joshwin stared at me wide eyed, but with some degree of yearning. I moved my hands to his chest and started unbuttoning his shirt. I had expected him to stop me, but instead he watched me silently. He moistened his lip repeatedly and his eyes started burning with intensity. I placed my hands flatly on his bare chest and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. He was absolutely perfect. His skin was so smooth against my palms and under my right hand, I felt his heart thud away in his chest.

With a ragged breath, I leaned down and put my lips to his. It wasn't like the kissing on the porch earlier this evening. The urgency was still between us, but the desire close to violence was gone. I managed to break the kiss and sat straight up again, while still braced across his lap. Joshwin watched me once more. His breath was rattled the same way mine was. With slightly shaky hands, I moved to the top button of my own shirt. I unhooked the first one with Joshwin's eyes glued to my hands.

“You're going to make it really hard for me to say no to you, aren't you?” He said with a slow smile. It didn't look like he minded at all.

“As hard as I can.” I breathed, while I unbuttoned the second one.

“I can see that,” he mused and his eyes shifted to my hands again.

“I figured that if you tease me then I can tease you, but in a nice way.” I was surprised by how different my voice sounded. It was soft and smooth, almost like a seductive humming. I unfastened the third button, only three more to go. My heart was pumping increasingly hard in my chest.

Joshwin bit his lip, looking a little anxious? That was usually my trademark. “You already did.” He reminded me and smirked. “Let me help you with that,” he breathed temptingly. Maybe, I would get my wish fulfilled. He shifted his weight under me and reached for the lowest button of my shirt. He slowly opened two buttons, while I managed to untangle the last one. It left my shirt open down the middle. “You're so beautiful.” Joshwin's lips didn't move and the words made no sound in the world other than in mine.

Joshwin put his elegant hands on my neck and slid my shirt off my shoulders. I pulled my arms though the sleeves, which made me naked from the waist up. I tried to breathe as easily as possible, but I was too nervous and too excited at the same time. I felt Joshwin's smooth hands slide up the bare skin on my back. It left a chill, while making the tiny hairs rise on my skin. He sat back on his hands and just looked at me. His eyes drifted down my chest. I watched him drink me in. His eyes sparkled as he just kept looking at my body. I wasn't exactly ashamed because I wanted him to see me, but I was surprised at the intensity radiating from his eyes. I had no doubt that he liked what he saw. A sudden gust of wind whipped through our small haven making the flames from the candles flicker wildly.

“You don't have to be nervous,” Joshwin whispered. I knew that he had spoken out loud, but I could feel his lips move against the skin of my neck. He pulled me close and when my uncovered breasts leaned against his naked chest, my head started to feel delirious. Another wind blew across the plateau making the flame of several candles disappear. The cold wind left goose bumps on my exposed skin.

Joshwin searched for my lips and I happily gave them to him. I kept hugging myself closer to him, while the wind moved leaves on the trees around us. I breathed heavily because every touch between us made the insides of my legs start burning again. “Elvie... the wind.” Joshwin reminded me. I hadn't realized that I was the instigator of the sudden gusting activity.

“Sorry,” I apologized with a sigh. “Wind, relax in the quiet night,” I called in my head and the wind instantly died down.

“Mmm, better,” Joshwin mused while he moved down my neck towards my collarbone. I felt his weight disappear from under me and suddenly he had me on my back, just like yesterday.

Joshwin was leaning over me with his hair falling down in his face. I pushed it back giving me a clear look of his breathtaking features. How could I even compare to that?

Joshwin watched me with indecisive eyes, while my chest moved up and down exaggeratedly. “Please,” I begged. I couldn't handle it, if he decided to pull the plug now. I was so far from done.

“Okay,” he whispered agreeing to my request. My stomach reacted and a violent flutter set off. He let his fingers trace gently up my stomach, further up the middle of my chest to my neck and then down again, delightfully teasing me. The movement made my insides turn liquid and boiling. He turned his hand, so his entire palm was against my stomach and started sliding it up again in an entirely different direction. His hand cupped my breast that hardly filled his palm, before he moved it to my face. I grabbed around his neck and pulled his face down to me. I searched for his lips and he gave into me with a small moan. I clung myself to him, while pushing the limit for how far we had gone. I longed to have him and I needed him to understand that I didn't need him to be patient. I was ready.

I reached down to his pant’s button. It easily snapped open with a small flick of my wrist. I pushed a finger in between his pants and his skin.

Joshwin unfortunately grabbed my hand and stopped me before I could do any more unbuttoning. “Patience, honey,” he whispered around my greedy lips.

“No,” I groaned and tried to free my hand, but he held it firmly in place.

“Yes,” he demanded. He pulled my hand from his crotch and placed it on his back without moving from his lips from mine, or stopping. He moved down my neck to my collarbone. I felt his tongue flick to my skin slightly, before he moved further away from my face. My head spun swiftly making me wonderfully delirious.

It was impossible not to wish for more. His breath was warm against my bare chest. It reacted to the touch of his warm exhale and all I could think was more, more, more! Breathing heavily, Joshwin gently pressed his lips to my naked breast. He glanced up at me apprehensively. I sighed in approval. Joshwin then ducked his head down again and his warm mouth started caressing my skin. He played with his lips over the puckered bud, while grazing me with his teeth. He was careful and giving, as he explored me with his mouth. I had never felt anything so thrilling and exciting. I wanted him and I wanted him to give into me. I wanted the solidification of our bond desperately. I wanted to feel his body. I wanted to feel it all.

My burning inner thighs tightened around his leg that was placed in between mine. This was unbearable. If I knew this was headed where I wanted it to go, fine, but I was terrified every second that Joshwin would decide to stop. It was tearing me apart.

I moved my hands to the edge of his pants again, trying once more to push the subject. I felt his torso tense up and instinctively, I knew that I had lost.

He lifted his head and looked dejectedly at me. “Elvie, please give me one more day.” He begged.

“One more day for what?” I mumbled. My rejection and defeat was hardly disguised.

“Elvie, I love you, but you have to give me a little more time.” I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I just didn't understand why.

“Time for what? We're soul mates. We're meant for each other and we have known each other, since the day that we were born. Please make me understand because I don't.” I felt the moisture start to pool in my eyes. Getting rejected again was hard to accept and it was getting repetitive. I felt Joshwin's weight disappear from me and a huff of air gusted from his chest. He settled next to me and ran his fingers through his untidy hair. I sat up and hugged my legs. I focused my eyes on his face, which was soaked with tears.

“I don't mean to hurt you,” Joshwin said slowly and wiped a tear that escaped the corner of my eye. “But you're changing so fast and it's making my head spin.” He tried a smile, but it quickly fell from his face again. “I know you're ready, but to be honest and it's going to sound so...” He didn't finish. He rubbed his pointer fingers against his temples. “I'm not ready.” He looked away from me, like he was ashamed.

I swallowed back hard. I didn't exactly see that one coming. I tried to gather my thoughts around the words that he was saying. So basically, I was pushing him for sex. Huh? I tried to understand, but I didn't, not really.

“This is how I see it.” He spoke again. I knew that he was trying to soothe my feelings, which were all hormonal and bent out of shape. “Tomorrow is another day and after that, there's another. So I am asking you, to allow me to have one or two more of those.” I felt his hand cradle the side of my face. “We will do this soon. All I need is a little time because I am not used to my Elvirina being like this. Please honor me with a little more time.” I felt his lips brush mine as I considered his request. I didn't want to promise to give him time, but out of respect, it was all that I could do. I needed to learn to be patient. No my forte, obviously.

“Okay,” I agreed.

Joshwin took my shirt, as he helped push my arms through the sleeves and started buttoning, while closing me up again. I sighed in defeat. I was mentally preparing to leave and have tonight’s make out session be over. Even though, to my disappointment, that was all it was – making out.

“Stay with me,” Joshwin whispered behind me. I would have put my money on the fact that he wanted to leave and get me off his back… at least, for tonight. He lay back down on the plateau and pulled me to him. I put my head against his chest and listened to the thudding of his heart. There was no enhanced beating indicating this evening was going to end hotter than expected. Joshwin started tracing his fingers up and down along my spine and I remembered seeing my mother’s bare back before Vasvár's funeral.

“You think it will hurt? The tattooing, I mean.” I asked.

“I swear that I'll be gentle as possible,” he answered solemnly. I could almost hear the smirk on his lips.

“You're not talking about the artwork, are you?”

“Not really, but I will be as careful as possible with both.” I listened to his soft words as he reopened the subject again.

“I know you will.” There wasn't anything that I wouldn't trust Joshwin with. “Do you think it will change us? Making love?” The words drew a smile to my face and warmth to my cheeks.

“My father says it does, but it’s hard to imagine us stronger than we are now.” Joshwin smiled softly.

“Have you been working on the art work yet?” Maybe, I could fish around. That way, I could find out if he actually intended on keeping his promise. If he already had the artwork done, that meant he was planning on making love to me soon, didn't it?

“It's been done for some time now,” Joshwin answered with a shy smile. That pleased me.

“What does it look like?” Suddenly, I was intrigued about what would be printed on my back in hopefully not too long from now.

“You're awfully nosy. Besides, I want it to be a surprise.” He chuckled. “How about yours?”

“It's done... well, not on paper, but in my mind.” For some reason, I'd always known what I wanted to do. Ever since I could remember, I'd had images in my mind of Joshwin's arms covered in my artwork.

“You always were a much better artist. You probably don't even have to practice.” I knew that I didn't. Drawing came second nature to me. It was something that had always been easy. Trying not to be arrogant about drawing I didn't answer him.

“I'll try and be careful with you too.” I suddenly promised.

“You're not really talking about the artwork, are you?” He basically took the words right out of my mouth from earlier.

“No,” I answered, quite happy that he noticed the double layers. I felt his arm tighten around me.

“Thank you,” Joshwin whispered. We didn't talk much after that. I just stayed put cradled in his arms. This was where I belonged. I fell asleep late into the night hugged comfortably in Joshwin's embrace.

I woke feeling cold and stiff. I could hear a subtle wheezing in Joshwin's chest as he breathed calmly. He was still sleeping. The sun wasn't up yet, but light was chasing the darkness away giving the sun space to awaken life. I lay still and let the pulse of Earth run through my body. There couldn't be anything as tranquil as this.

The sun was rising higher to the sky. It was probably time to move, if we were supposed to arrive at school on time.

I let my fingers search under Joshwin's shirt and felt the smooth texture of his skin glide beneath my palm. I kept my hormones in check, mainly not wanting to attack him again. I stopped over his heart and felt the thudding under my hand. It was perfectly even and calm in its routine.

“Joshwin?” I called softly. He didn't respond. I tried again. “Joshwin?” I said a little louder this time. I heard the deep breath that he pulled in, as he recovered consciousness.

“We fell asleep,” he stated thickly.

“Yeah.”

“Have you been awake for long?” He looked down and noticed my hand under his shirt.

“Awhile... I'm behaving.” I promised, while smiling. He looked really cute in the morning and a little confused.

“It's okay.” He wrapped his hand around mine with the fabric in between. “It's not because it doesn't feel nice because trust me every time you touch me you all but set me on fire.” He rolled to his side, keeping my hand firmly in place over his heart. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did.”

“Are you cold?” He hinged his leg around me and almost covered me with his body.

“A little.” I snuggled my face into his chest. It was hard not to let myself get absorbed by my deeper need. He rubbed my back, trying to warm me with friction. I was so happy in this second that it felt like my heart was going to explode. “I love you,” I whispered against his chest.

“And I love you.” Joshwin smiled hugely and tilted my head up with a finger. I could see his lips closing in.

“Serious case of morning breath over here,” I mumbled. My mouth tasted awful. I was sure my teeth had grown fur over night.

Joshwin chuckled. “I don't care.” Then his lips touched mine. It took every restraint that I had not to push him again, but learning to be respectful was on the top of my agenda today. The kiss was soft and loving, but didn't last long enough.

“We should go,” Joshwin said, while breaking off.

“I know.” I answered reluctantly. I really didn't want to go. He released me from the sleeping bag wrap and started to move. Joshwin held my hand firmly in his, as we walked home.

“Front door or window?” I asked. Using the front door would make assumptions flare, like a lit match to dry grass.

“Er... window. I don't want our parents to think anything yet.” I nodded, trying not to let rejection wash over me again. We were at the edge of the forest that opened up to the vegetable garden behind my house.

“Elvie, you need to stop thinking like that.” Joshwin took both my hands and put them to his lips. “I'm telling you we will... soon.” He promised. “Trust me when I say this... it's not because I don't want you.” He grinned wickedly and kissed my hands again.

“I'll try to be patient.” I promised a little bleakly.

“Not your strongest suit.” He snickered.

“Whatever,” I droned sarcastically, accompanied by a dramatic eye roll.

“I'll see you soon.” Joshwin kissed me gently, before he moved around the garden’s edge to his house.

I climbed the porch and back through my window. I quickly got ready. We had to hurry, if we were to make it to school on time.