Chapter 5: The Plateau

Elvirina 

Joshwin helped me out the window into the cool night. It was refreshing to have the clean air fill my lungs. We stood at the edge of the roof. Joshwin elegantly jumped off the edge and landed with a quiet thud on the ground below. I followed quickly. I hinged my dress in between my legs before I jumped. I wasn’t about to have my dress fly over my head and expose what I wasn't wearing underneath. Like a perfect gentleman, he caught me by the waist. I felt his hands slide upward on the outside of my thin dress.

“Come,” he said and tugged on my hand.

“Where are we going?” I whispered feeling even more nervous. I adjusted my eyes to the darkness and colors shifted to all varieties of gray.

“To the river.” Joshwin gritted his teeth like a nervous twitch before he started running and dodging the trees neatly on the way. I followed behind with my naked feet feeling the pulse of Earth... or was it my own pulse I could sense?

I stopped dumbfounded, when we reached our destination - the river. Something bright gray or hot white irritated my eyes. I closed them letting colors return to my sight. There was a plateau that didn't use to be here. It was wooden and lined with flowers. Big candles rounded the plateau edge. I counted seventeen candles. I guessed one for each year that we had lived. The candles threw reflections into the surface of the quiet river.

“Did you make this?” I asked stunned.

“I did... for you.” He looked at me excited and nervous at the same time.

“It's beautiful,” I gasped, assessing his work and stepping onto the plateau.

“I'm glad you like it,” he answered all proud and relieved. “I know tonight probably isn't the night for this, but I already had it planned... so I hope it is okay.” He shrugged tensely.

“It is more than okay.” I sat down on the ledge facing the water. Joshwin took a seat next to me. I watched him from the corner of my eye, while I tried to keep my hormones in check. Joshwin's eyes lingered steadily on my face. Suddenly, I was too focused on the fact that I was still wearing my ceremonial dress and only that dress. I felt naked and nervous.

“You don't need to be,” he said quietly, turning to look over the still water.

“Need to be what?” I asked confused, watching his beautiful face in the dim candlelight. His perfection took my breath away. Whatever I did to deserve him, I would do it a million times over again, no matter the cost. I couldn’t believe that he was mine.

“Nervous,” he replied while moistening his lip again. Would he please stop doing that? It was driving me insane. I wanted to say something, but all I could think was those lips and how they would feel against mine. Warm, soft and sweet. Joshwin spoke again, with a victorious smile hanging in the tone of his voice. “I'll be on my best behavior,” he promised slightly amused. I couldn't help thinking his behavior didn't have to be all good.

“Oh,” I answered with my mouth hanging open and feeling a little disappointed.

His eyes burned with intensity. “All I want to say is that I know you're changing. I know your transformation has begun.” I stared just as intently back at him, still not closing my mouth. Moments ticked by.

“How long have you known?” I asked breathlessly. This was the conversation that I feared.

“A few days, but I wasn't completely sure until this morning.” He smirked at me and I blushed deeply again. I desperately hoped the dim light might hide just a few shades of the scarlet hues.

“I'm sorry about that,” I mumbled. This was third time today that I was reminded about that inappropriate dream and it was still embarrassing.

“Why?” he asked puzzled.

“Well... I'm not sure if you've changed yet and I, uhm… didn't want to make you er… uncomfortable,” I stammered. I hugged my legs to my chest, hoping to conceal my anxious trembling.

“Well, it wasn't exactly uncomfortable,” he chuckled. His eyes were gleaming mischievously, before he hesitated. “Do you think I’ve changed?” He could steal candy from a kid with those eyes.

“I... I... I think you have,” I stuttered. He moved to his knees, facing me. He cradled my face in his strong hands. Impossible, but my heart started beating harder and harder. When would it actually explode?

“There's no need to be scared or nervous... or embarrassed.” He hooked my hair behind my ear. The stroke of his fingertips made my skin burn with a tingling desire. “I feel that, you know.”

“That’s what’s embarrassing! You feel every tiny thing that I feel and I have no idea how you or what you think.” I bit down hard on my lip to stop blabbering and whining. I breathed slowly and heavily as a mean of control.

“It's similar.” He smiled smug, then chuckled.

“See... that's not fair,” I complained feebly.

“You could just read my mind. Not that I encourage you to.” Joshwin admitted, looking less smug this time.

“I can't,” I said.

“Really? I always thought that you could,” he murmured surprised. I couldn't read his mind, but I could read his face, which was like an open book.

“No, Joshwin. When did you change?” I asked seriously.

“About a year ago.”

“So mom was right.” I muttered, mainly aimed at myself.

“You spoke to your mom about this?”

“Yeah... all of this is really confusing and I didn't know what to do.” I admitted. How could he have gone through this without anybody noticing?

“So what did she say?” He prodded.

“She told me to make sure that you felt the same way... before I did anything?” My face suddenly got hot again. I hoped the candlelight wouldn't show just how deeply I blushed.

“And what might that anything be?” he asked suggestively. I hugged my legs tighter to my chest and tried to stop my heart from breaking my ribs with the intense throbbing. I didn't answer. He pried my arms from my legs. I studied his face with unfathomable eyes. “Lie down,” he requested gently.

“Joshwin?” I said in a short breath, tipping over the edge of panic.

“Don't worry. I promised I'd be on my best behavior and I'm going to be.” He laughed and smiled. He held my arms, while supporting my weight as I slowly lay down on my back. I couldn't quite control my heavy breathing anymore. I was simply too nervous and too excited.

He placed his hand over my heart. I knew he would feel how hard it was pumping in my chest. I also felt how thin my dress really was and that his hand scorching my skin. His untidy hair fell into his face as he watched my face from above me. “Elvirina, you are my true soul mate. It's my job to guard your heart.” He looked like an angel in the flickering candlelight. A tear rolled down the side of my face and soaked into my hair. I didn't cry for the death we had experienced today, instead I cried for the love destined to be between us. Joshwin wiped the tear from my face. “Will you give it to me?” he asked softly.

“It's already yours,” I whispered. My heart kept pounding brutally in my chest. I lay silently, breathing hard and staring into the alluring eyes of my love. This was just downright erotic.

Finally, the limb feeling in my hands that was stopping me vanished and I let my fingers twine into his hair. My hands knotted around the locks and pulled his face to mine. I finally got to taste him. I pushed my lips softly against his once and then again. His lips moved tenderly against mine. He tasted just as wonderfully sweet as I imagined. I took a firmer grip into his hair and explored a fraction of his mouth. He parted my lips and gently touched my tongue with his. I felt his breath feather against my face as the kiss deepened. The taste of him exploded inside me. It started bubbling strange and unknown urges. Joshwin moved himself against me, laying half way atop me. His breath changed to be every as bit as heavy as mine. A leg moved up between my thighs. Instinctively, I shaped my body around him. I pushed my hips toward him as he took a firm grasp around my waist, holding me close. Moving my hands from his hair, I pushed his shirt up, so I could touch the smooth texture of his skin. He groaned lightly against my lips as our mouths moved warmly and urgently against each other. I was becoming increasingly dizzy. Joshwin grasped at the back of my dress pulling it up, until I felt the lower part of my body exposed. His hand moved against the back of my thigh further up and over my left back cheek. The intensity inside me flared again.

“Are you naked?” he muttered stunned against my lips. He felt a little panicky to me.

“Sort of,” I admitted between embarrassing pants. To my regret, Joshwin's hand moved up my back all the way to my face, instead of moving further down. He pushed some wayward strands of hair off my face and cradled it with his hand.

“Don't make me break my promise,” he pleaded quietly. Fire burned in his glorious blue eyes. I didn't want him to touch my face. I wanted his hand to soothe the increasing heat that I felt high up between my thighs.

“What promise?” I tried to blink the confusion from my eyes, while working around the dizziness.

“I promised that I would be good. I still intend on being that.” He licked his lip again, which wasn’t necessary. His lip was still moist from our kiss.

“You don't have to be,” I whispered. I listened to my own voice. It didn't sound like mine at all. It sounded a little hoarse, sexy even. I was ready to hurl my virginity far out the window this very second. I was ready to fulfill our bond. In a matter of moments, I had gone from being afraid to even touch his hand, to being ready to tear his clothes off. Huh? What was going on with me?

“I want to,” he said while caressing my jaw line. My heart fell into my feet. I felt rejection wash over my mind, clouding my vision. “Elvie... it's not like that,” he promised.

“Then what is it?” I asked, almost pouting.

“I want this too.” He pushed his lips against my neck, kissing me softly.

“What? Heavy make out sessions?” I croaked.

“Yeah,” he grinned and licked my skin, inhaling exaggerated through his nose. “I can smell it on you, you know?”

“Smell what?” He already had my head whirling again.

“How much you want me,” he teased. His breath was so loud this close to my ear.

“Again... not fair.” I groaned, silently wishing he would reach up under my dress. He did the opposite. He pulled it down covering me up again.

“There is no reason to get ahead of ourselves. We have all the time in the world... okay?” He said patiently and rejection crept into the back of my mind, like a mist slowly covering everything in its haze.

“Okay.” I closed my eyes and tried centering myself. I wanted to shake the sensation of refusal, so that I would be able to have a simple and coherent conversation. Joshwin sat up beside me, straightening his clothes back to a descent and presentable fashion.

“Aren't you the least bit nervous?” I asked rolling to my side, in a cheerful attempt not to sulk

“About us?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

“No. We know this is right for us.”

He didn't answer the true intention of my question. “I know. We've always knew that, but aren't you the least bit nervous about that?”

After a while he nodded slowly. Finally, he seemed to get the drift of my question. “Oh...” He moistened his bottom lip again. “You're asking if I'm nervous about making love... with you?” His wet lip and his words bolted through my veins and my heart crashed against my ribs.

“Yes,” I breathed.

He placed his hand over my heart again. All I felt was how dangerously close he was to touching something rather personal of mine. His hand moved with every heavy breath that filled my lungs. “I think...” He paused, evaluating. “I think that I'm just as nervous as you are.” All of a sudden, his confident eyes changed to show the same fear and excitement I felt.

“Good,” I said triumphantly. That meant he had a vague idea what I was going through. The moon disappeared behind a cloud in an almost dire warning. “Maybe we should go back,” I said. I thought of Serenity and the fact that we said we'd been gone about an hour and at least two had passed.

“You wanna check on Serenity?”

“Yeah, I don't want her to be alone for too long.”

“She's lucky to have you.” Joshwin praised and kissed my cheek. I don't know if I'd say that. I had more or less been MIA in our friendship, since I had begun my transformation and been consumed by raging hormones.

“Hmm,” I shrugged disagreeing.

“No, she's lucky to have you,” he said and tilted my chin upward. “And so am I,” he continued solemnly.

“How can you be so confident when you're around me? These days, I don't even know up from down.”

“I'm not confident. I've just been where you are... for a while.” He smiled snidely and stared into my eyes with a deep and honest longing. Again, I was ready to rip his clothes off. He chuckled and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. “And it's really funny I can do that to you.” I knew he was referring to my poorly disguised desire for him.

“Don't do that,” I complained, as my face flashed bright red again.

“Sorry,” he said shrugging, not looking very apologetic at all.

“Let's just go,” I ordered. Joshwin blew out the candles and instantly everything around us went pitch black. I closed my eyes preparing my vision to see clearer through the night. When I opened them again, everything appeared gray. We walked swiftly through the underbrush trying not to disturb the nocturnal life hunting in the darkness.

I snuck in through the back door. Before Joshwin let me go, he kissed me goodnight with a deep and delicious kiss that did exactly what he expected. My head whirled and I wrapped myself around him yet again. He muffled a chuckle and I wanted to smack him. It wasn't fair that he could do that to me and that he did it on purpose. He was such a cheater.

“Give Serenity my best and tell her that she's in my heart.” He symbolically touched his hand to the left side of his chest as a sign of sympathy.

“I will,” I promised and closed the door. I tiptoed up the stairs hoping I would enter unnoticed. I knew it was probably a lost cause. Why even bother sneaking by an intuitive mom, who had almost super hearing?

I carefully got in bed and lay down next to Serenity. I listened to her breathing. She wasn't sleeping, but she didn't say anything. I figured she might be mad at me for staying out for so long and on the night when she needed me the most. I was the worst kind of friend ever.

“Serenity?” I whispered. “I'm so sorry.”

She turned to face me. I noticed her face was drenched in tears. “What are you sorry for? Did something happen?” Her voice was thick and rusty, but not from sleep. She sounded worried.

“We've been gone too long. I shouldn't have left you alone,” I apologized.

“No... I'm fine,” she promised tenderly. “You should go with Joshwin. It is important, maybe even exciting?” She cracked a weak smile. Her hair lit up my eyes that were adjusted to the darkness and the gray tones. I blinked to let color flood my vision again.

“Joshwin says hello and that you're in his heart.” I offered as a tiny band-aid for her massive wound.

“Thanks.” She snorted. “Did anything happen?” She asked all hopeful. I blushed again and my stomach bubbled at the thought of kissing and how easily he could make me want more. He didn't even have to try. “Did you make love?” She whispered, suddenly all intrigued.

“No. But I wanted to.” I admitted sheepishly. I tried to hide the rejection that was hazing over my mind.

“Please tell me what happened,” Serenity requested. “Maybe it will make me forget my pain for a while.” I knew how suggestive she could be and I didn't want to fight. If telling her the gory details about my experience making out with Joshwin could ease a fraction of her pain, I would gladly give them to her.