Chapter 3: Home

Elvirina

Our home is far out in the woods, secluded, just the way we prefer it. It also adds to the mystery concerning my people. Being Thumánn means our life is shaped in a very different way than most humans are. One of  the differences is our need to live surrounded by nature, and feel at one with it. It is important to feel nature live, feel it pulsate throughout your body. Nature breathes life and energy into us.

The power of Earth; is what drives us, She is our true mother and She is the one who gave life to us when we were buried deep in the forest soil, protected by roots of trees. We live in harmony with our beloved nature; it is a corner stone in Thumánn life.

We have been called many things over the past millenniums - Witches, sorcerers, heroes, goddesses all categories placing us apart from humans, not among them. Over time we have been treated like pariahs, chased, burned at the stake, and worshiped. As long as we have shared the planet with humans had there been struggles between us. The time I live in, we exists in peace with them, and time has made human memory fade and mostly forget our abilities. Our mystique has declined almost to that of an urban legend.

There are a number of things setting us apart from the humans we meet every day. Many of us are gifted with affinities, foremost women. We are the strongest. We are worshiped. Women have up to three different abilities. Like me, I can control wind and I and much to my regret I can read minds sporadically. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but sometimes it is just unavoidable, but at home my mind is filled with a delightful silence as I am able to avoid hearing other people’s thoughts here.

Men normally don't have more than one affinity, if any at all.

Our family dynamic is incomprehensible to humans; some even use words like disgusting or repulsive when referring to us. We are wired differently and we love in a way they cannot understand. Women are much fewer in numbers and we are guarded and treasured, we are the pillars of our kind, we are matriarchs.

The number three has a defined and undeniable impact on us. It's like a mathematical equation, it makes sense, but how did it spring into existence and why does it make sense? Affinities often come in three's for woman, families often have three or six children and a Thumánn matriarch has three husbands. The last part is what humans find... well unappetizing. To me it is natural. My first husband was chosen the day we were born, he is my soul mate. He is Joshwin.

My mother is Sibilla, we have the same raven black hair, though mine is straight and hers trails to her waist in ringlets. I also inherited her odd green eyes and my lips are shaped much like hers. She is taller than me, just as tall as Serenity. Our height is another thing setting us beside regular humans; we are taller, leaner than an average human. At home, I'm the short one out of the bunch, with my five-nine. Besides our height and the contours of our shapes, we are the same as humans, but like birds in nature, they live in peace as long as they stay out of each other’s nests.

I didn't inherit my mother's fair skin, mine is olive-tainted , like my father's. I have three fathers. My spiritual father is Kasardian, he is my mother’s soul-mate, the same way Joshwin is mine. Kasardian is the one I call Dad, but he is not my father by the blood running through my veins. I share no genes with him. Kasardian is responsible for my spiritual life until my commitment to Joshwin. After our commitment, Joshwin will be responsible for my protection and guarding of my soul or spirit, which ever you prefer. So what's happening now is that my transformation has begun... I'm almost sure... I think.

My biological fathers are Dewritar and Junius, but I never call them Dad, they may have given life to me, but they carry no responsibility, other than my general well-being and that they too are married to my mother.

Illian pulled into the courtyard and parked next to the two shabby cars already there. We climbed out, and I was happy to fill my lungs with the refreshing air of home. The three others quickly gave 'see you laters' and disappeared to Illian and Serenity's home. They were itching to get back to their chess game. Serenity and Illian were playing, and Chrystan was the referee. Not that any of them would ever really cheat, but the idea of it made Chrystan's presence required.

Joshwin lingered at the car with me. He leaned against the side. With closed eyes, he lifted his face toward the sky and pulled in a slow deep breath through his nose. We were never quite comfortable being away from the trees and the life pulsating here. I let my bare feet feel the firm dirt and gravel in the courtyard and concentrated on feeling the Earth's life run underneath my soles.

I studied Joshwin's perfect features. I longed to touch my fingers to his cheek, feel the warmth and texture of it. I bit my lip and looked inside myself, searching for the courage to do it. I couldn't find it. Joshwin ran his fingers through the messy locks framing his face. He moistened his bottom lip before the turned to face me. Again, I wanted to reach out and feel his full bottom lip. It had to be soft, warm, maybe even burning. My mind wandered as I dreamed about him touching his lips to mine. I blushed, realizing Joshwin felt what I was feeling. Right now that link was a little unfortunate.

“I'm glad today is over.” He said trying to hide his amusement. Oh, he knew alright. This just sucked.

“Me too,” I agreed, embarrassed, while I mentally groaned at the lack of privacy. “Tomorrow will be easier... I hope,” my mumbling slurred my words to almost incoherent.

“So do I,” he echoed my opinion.

Embarrassment faded and I was happy the others had gone inside, this incident was left unnoticed. It left us with a tiny bit of solitude. Maybe I should touch to him, just a little graze on his arm wouldn't hurt. We stood there silently for a few minutes, just staring at each other. I didn't have the faintest idea what to say, so to avoid dazzling him with my lack of articulation, I didn't speak.

“Will I see you later?” Joshwin finally asked. He brought his hand up and tucked my pitch black hair behind my one ear. He gently pushed the long strands behind my shoulder and his thumb traced across my neck. I closed my eyes momentarily as the graze made me shudder warmly. My heart gave out one big thumb.

“Maybe,” I said sheepishly. I wanted to see him... I always wanted to see him.

“Sorry about today,” he apologized, looking a little too smug.

“About what today?” I asked, I had no idea what he was referring to.

“In the auditorium.”

I suddenly remembered how he had traced his fingers down my arm, making me forget to even say yes when my name was called. Hairs on my arms started to react again.

“Oh... it doesn't matter.” I didn't care that I had been embarrassed, all I cared about was the way he'd touched me.

“I was just checking?” He continued coy.

“Checking what?” I mumbled ingeniously. Could you actually get a degree in mumbling, if so I was definitely bringing home that show.

He moistened his bottom lip again, making the light sparkle in the thin layer of moisture on that delicious lip. “Nothing,” he gave me a conjuring look.

“Elvirina,” I heard mom call softly from the house. I ignored her, continuing staring at Joshwin, I was powerless with him. This moment I didn't understand why everyone said Thumánn women were so strong, so powerful, because right now I was completely in Joshwin's grasp. “Elvie?” my mother called again.

“You should go... I'll see you soon,” he breathed the words close to my face and gave me a gentle push toward my house. I reluctantly left his side and jumped the few steps to the porch that ran all the way around my house.

My home was fairly big, normally because our families were large. Just not mine. All three houses included in my homestead had the same layout. Go figure... they had the same architects and builders.  Our parents.

The houses were all wood, through and through. The entrance at the center and just inside the door to your right was the kitchen. That would be Dewritar's domain. He was a mean cook. Through the hall past the kitchen was the large communal room, where my family spends the majority of time. Upstairs, rooms are placed on all sides of the house. An open hall, only confined by a banister, lined all the way around, overlooking the communal room.

Inside, my mother was waiting for me. I knew she wanted to hear how our first day went. I gave her a few details, and excused myself to my room. I wanted to get a start on my homework, especially since I had paid such poor attention in all my classes today. I had been so distracted... several times. I didn't want to fall behind - not that I really ever did - but no reason to start now.

Boredom quickly took over and I went to the kitchen. Dewritar was cooking as usual and it smelled delicious. Mom was laying out a massive horoscope on the living room floor. She looked worried and was mumbling something to herself. I wasn't able to read her mind, not that I would show that amount of disrespect, but her expression made me a little edgy.

“What's for dinner?” I asked Dewritar.

“And hello to you to daughter?” He replied while continuing slicing tomatoes.

“Hi... what's for dinner?” I asked again, a little snide this time.

“Baked cheese tomatoes and vegetable casserole,” he stretched to peck my cheek. I smelled his natural earthly scent on his skin. It felt so good to be home.

“What's with mom?” I looked in her direction again. She had changed position and was now on her knees rubbing her chin. The same worried look still painted her face.

“Something’s off, she's trying to figure out what... don't think it's going too well,” Dew added when he threw a glance over his shoulder.

The house was quiet today, I peered past the wall to the big communal room, searching. “Where are Dad and Junius?” I asked while stealing a tomato from under Dewritar's quick hands.

“Kasardian is in the garden and Junius is out with Vasvár somewhere, they should be back in a few days.”

Vasvár is one of Illian and Serenity's biological fathers. Vasvár and Junius were very close friends, brothers, not by blood or marriage, but by heart. They shared an affinity for the earth and they often took off deep into the forest to meditate. I wasn’t really sure what they were doing, but I had a sneaking suspicion they were smoking up out there.

“Can you ask your dad to bring me some parsley...? I need it for dinner,” Dew requested, dropping tomatoes onto a plate.

“Sure,” I tried to snatch another tomato, but Dew was faster. He caught my hand and smiled.

“Go,” he ordered gently and kissed my palm. I smiled back, a little sour I didn't get  the tomato I'd been aiming for. I went out the back to the large vegetable garden, trying not to disturb anything, when stepping over mom's massive display on the floor. She threw me a quick smile as I passed. That ghost of a smile was even more unsettling. I walked down the four steps from the porch and touched my bare feet to the soft grass. Dad was at the far end of the garden, hacking away between two raspberry bushes.

“Dad... Dew needs some parsley,” I called,well more like ordering, really.

“What's wrong with saying hello?” He pretended to pout, but I knew he was happy to see me. He had always been my rock. His personal calm always made me feel at ease. I leaned into his one armed embrace, when he kissed my hair. He was sweaty from the yard work, but I didn't mind, I enjoyed the small term of endearment too much.

“Hey Dad,” I said softly, smiling at the feel of his arm encircling me. He always made me feel loved.

“How was your day?” He rubbed a hand against his bearded chin.

“As you'd expect,” I answered, keeping certain details as limited as possible.

“Not too bad then?” He asked as he moved his and up to wipe his glistering forehead. Kasardian was a strong tall man, the biggest in our little establishment. Even big, burly Chrystan wasn't a match for my dad.

“No, just what you'd expect,” I sighed. Dad smiled knowingly, telling me he understood the stares and talking in the corners. This was why I adored him so much. He always understood.

“I'll get the parsley for you sweetheart,” he said, and kissed my hair again, before releasing me. I looked up when the sun broke through the clouds and touched my skin. I could feel the sudden burst of energy the sun always provided when it licked my skin.

I placed four plates at the table, not five as usually. Junius wasn’t joining us today. After dinner, I decided I would try to talk to mom about all the feelings I was having. Hopefully she could help me figure some of them out because I was at a loss.

“Mom?” I said quietly, while I curled up next to her on the couch where she was reading. Just before dinner she had given up on the horoscope. Her face, thankfully,had returned to normal again.

“Yes, sweetheart,” she caressed my hair with a simple stroke. I admired her gentle soul and her wisdom. It was the last part I was seeking now.

“I need to talk to you,” I looked nervously up at her green eyes.

“That's my cue to leave,” Dewritar left his chair by the fireplace. He was my father, but not my spiritual father and he had no interest in being caught in our conversation. He left out of curtsey to my mother and me. “Goodnight my love,” he kissed mom softly on the lips and turned and his attention to me. “Have sweet dreams daughter,” Dew wished for me while he stroked my cheek.

“Night Dew,” I murmured while waiting for my cue to continue. Mom smiled brilliantly at him. I also admired her for loving all my dads so much. She really was the center of my home, the core of my family.

“What do you need me for?” She encouraged turning her attention back to me. I pulled my feet up and hugged my legs to my chest. I knew I could talk to her about everything, but I still didn't really know where to begin. I bit my lip pondering.

“Well... It's about Joshwin,” I admitted sheepishly.

“Yes,” she probed gently.

“I... I think I might be... changing... my transformation,” I stuttered a little, looking down at my fidgeting hands.

“Why do you think that?” Mom asked patiently.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Joshwin looks different to me lately... and he feels different too... I don't know, like sometimes I forget to breathe when he smiles at me,” I listened to the fire crackle for a moment. “He even smells different now,” I peeked up at Mom to evaluate her expression when she one-arm hugged me closer to her.

“That sounds alright to me, anything else?”

“I... I feel like touching him... all the time,” I whispered the last words. Kasardian was still in the room, for him it was okay to listen. It was expected. He's my guardian and responsible for my spiritual upbringing. It was expected for him to watch over me for this grueling and humiliating part of becoming a woman. But I felt embarrassed about admitting wanting to touch Joshwin while he was here. Dad picked up a paper and started to pretend reading all for my benefit I was sure.

“Have you?” She questioned understandingly.

“No... Not really, every time I try, I completely lose my nerve.”

“Have you spoken to Joshwin about this?”

“No,” I bit down on the nail I had chewed to the skin this morning. How could I? It was all too confusing. “I'm not sure he wants me to... Mom, do you think he's changed? Gone through his transformation?”

“I'm almost certain he has,” she smiled knowingly at me. “Remember last year, when you were so annoyed with him most of the time?”

“Yeah...”

“I think that's when it happened to him, but you'll have to ask him.” She told me. I did remember Joshwin being annoying. He was always in my face and that was when he started keeping tabs on my emotions. How could I doubt that he had? Boys always changed earlier than girls.

“Oh no.” I whimpered and cringed. “I was so horrible to him...” I admitted dumping my forehead on my knees. “How could he stand me... if he was feeling like I am now, why didn't he lose his mind? I would die if Joshwin ignored me like that now,” I complained, feeling horribly guilty. I heard a light chuckle from behind the paper.

“Joshwin isn't ignoring you now... is he?” Mom asked.

“No... quite the opposite, he is always in my head, watching over me.”

“Good. He is supposed to.”

“Do you think I'm changing?” I asked, lifting my head to meet her face.

“Elvie... I think you are.” She gave my cheek a motherly stroke. “This is an exciting time for you.”

Wow. Exciting, who would have though being this confused would equal excitement? I certainly didn’t. “Do you think Joshwin knows too?”

“Probably... but you should talk to him,” Mom encouraged.

“Okay.” I bit down on my thumb again. The thought of rounding up the courage to confront him was frightening. “Mom... is it okay if I touch him?” I kept my voice low in hope of keeping it out of Kasardian's ears.

“You know you don't have to ask my permission. What you are going through is natural. But if you should want to touch him, you should make sure it is okay with him also.” I had a feeling Mom wasn't just taking about a simple graze on the arm anymore.

“Thanks... he's so painstakingly beautiful,” I admitted, so low I could barely hear the words.

“Oh, sweetheart, so are you,” Mom's voice was sweet like honey.

“So not knowing what is up and what is down, and having a heart that feels like it's going to explode is normal?”

She chuckled another honey-like sound. “Yes... can I give you another piece of advice?”

“Please,” I begged. I needed all the help I could get. As the most productive thing I could conjure up right now, was banging my head against a wall to sort out the chaos in my head.

“Enjoy it.There's no hurry, and you only get to make first time experiences once. So make sure they feel right and just follow your instincts. You'll know what to do.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled. I didn't know if it was safe to trust my judgment these days, my hormones were raging out of control.

I stayed at my mother’s side for a while and she returned to her book. I enjoyed the silence as the darkness covered the house. I wondered if now was a good time to go talk to Joshwin or if I should wait. I thought about Joshwin and how he made me feel. Then about Caleb Blake and how he had made me edgy with electricity, creeping under my skin and up my spine. Immediately I formed black walls to keep my emotions in check. Mom was far too intuitive to let this pass unnoticed. If she asked, I would give Joshwin the honor. I really needed to figure out this electric tingle Blake caused me.

“Are you sleeping already?” Joshwin spoke in my mind when I gave up on the subject and though of something more interesting than black walls. I wasn't sleeping, why would he think that? I changed the imagines in my mind, to climbing in trees, swinging out over the river pools and jumping into the water, very happy times from my childhood. I felt my mother's arm around me, giving me a vague squeeze.

“Didn't think so. Why are you so happy?” I wanted to answer him back, but the connection was one-way, so he wouldn't be able to hear my words. But something changed. Before, when I remembered Blake and the electricity, I had been thinking black walls and Joshwin thought I was sleeping. It was the same thing that happened this morning when I had been trapped in the class room with Blake. Joshwin had thought I was bored out of my mind. I focused all my attention on the black walls again. I counted to sixty in my head and then returned to the happy memories jumping into the lake.

“What is going on?” Joshwin's voice broke through when I changed the subject on my mind again. “This is really uncomfortable. Are you okay?” I kept the harmless memories in my mind. Seconds ticked by, while I turned the theories around in my head. Everything suddenly snapped into place. I could block Joshwin out off my mind... if I wanted too. I couldn't imagine a reason I would ever want to do that, well maybe Blake. Stop it... stupid independent mind.

I went to the kitchen window. I had a feeling if I looked across the courtyard I would see Joshwin's face on the other side. Sure enough as I looked out, Joshwin opened the front door to his house. I sent him a heartfelt smile and a quick wave. He reciprocated and touched his fingers to his lips and placed his hand over his heart before he closed the door again.

I told my parents good night and went to my room. It was still too early to go to bed, it was only midnight. Though I felt tired, there was no need to sleep for six hours. Normally I went to bed between two and three am and got up at six, maybe six thirty. Thumánn’s only required three or four hours of rest per night, another variation compared to humans.

I nestled down on my bed and let my fingers trace the patterns of the quilt covering my bed.

I woke disorientated and abruptly torn from my dream. My body was tingling all over and I felt hot and cold at the same time. The inside of my legs simmered warmly, my muscles tightened and I was breathing heavily. My head was crowded with delightful images bouncing around, causing an array of pleasurable waves to roll inside my stomach. The images were all Joshwin. His lips, his glorious blue eyes, his bare chest and my own hands trailing over the planes of his naked skin.

I realized what I had woken me, it was his voice. “You’re making it really hard for me to sleep,” Joshwin's alluring voice had broken through my sweet dream. Flustered, I ripped myself off the bed. Vastly I tried to center myself, taking a deep deliberate breath and closed my eyes. This was just downright humiliating; I couldn't run or hide from it. I checked the time, it was five thirty, still a half-hour until the rest of the house would be stirring. Perhaps today was the time to fix breakfast for everyone.

I had a shower and let my wet hair hang far down my back to dry. I pulled on a pair of pants and t-shirt. I jumped the last of the steps, stepping into the empty kitchen. I went overboard and made a huge breakfast and two different kinds of tea. I even picked fresh flowers and placed them on the center of the table. Everything was ready when Dew entered. He looked like he was about to have a stroke, when he saw the overflowing amount of food. I had needed to distract myself from my thoughts and I had taken it out on the selection of food.

Mom and Kasardian followed shortly after Dew. Informed that I'd been the instigator of breakfast mania, Mom studied my face, checking if I'd lost my mind. On the other hand, the variety of food seemed to be a welcome change and they all ate happily. I poked fruit around on my plate; I had too many fluttering butterflies in my stomach to fit in any food. In too short a time I had to face Joshwin. Hmm… wonderful and not at all embarrassing.

Unreasonably late, I figured I couldn't stall any longer. I knew they were all waiting for me at the car. And so was Joshwin. I pulled a thin cardigan on and snatched my book bag from my room. I leaned my head against the front door, sucking in a deep breath before I opened it. Sure my blushing ability didn't fail me, as soon as I saw the others I flushed an unattractive deep red. I walked to the car keeping my head down. They were all waiting for me with car doors open.

“Nice of you to show up,” Illian droned in his sarcastic manner.

“Mmm,” I muttered, with my eyes glued to the ground.

“Morning,” a familiar voice mused next to my ear. I felt tiny hairs rise on my neck, and my head involuntary snapped up to face Joshwin. I felt an even deeper scarlet hue paint my face. I looked at Joshwin's divine face when he moistened his bottom lip, again! That really wasn't helping my hormones at all. My mind escaped again, with me barely hanging on by my fingernails. All I wanted was to touch my lips to his, to taste him, to feel his warm, wet mouth on mine. Joshwin's face broke into a heartbreaking smile, just before his lips narrowed into an amused line. I almost cried in pure humiliation.

“Get in...what?” Chrystan sneered, so far oblivious, from the opposite side of the car. From the corner of my eye I saw Chrystan and Illian exchange glances a few times, before they both roared in laughter. Ugh.

“Leave them alone,” Serenity sneered at both of them. Humiliation changed to anger and those were tears I also knew. I got in the car and sat fuming in my usual spot between Serenity and Joshwin. Through the anger, I was horribly aware that my shoulder was glued to Joshwin's. I had no control, and him running a finger down my arm made everything worse. I closed my eyes and thought of the black walls surrounding me. I needed to center myself if I should have the slightest chance of  getting any educational value from today. I guess my subconscious motive was to test my theory - face to face with Joshwin. As soon as I pulled up the black walls, I sensed Joshwin snap his head in my direction. I knew he silently watched me and he stopped caressing my arm. Counting to one-hundred and twenty, then I tore the walls down again. I opened my eyes to gauge his reaction. His eyes were confused and regretful. “Are you mad about last night? If you don't want me to touch you, you need to tell me. I think I misunderstood,” Joshwin apologized in my head. I couldn't stand to look at his pained face. I didn't want him thinking he'd done something wrong. So this time I mustered up the courage. I leaned my head to his shoulder and tucked my head into his neck. I felt his muscles relax. He didn't speak for the rest of the drive; I just sat with my head on his shoulder.