Chapter 37: Surprise

Elvirina

I sensed the sky brighten outside, but it was still early morning. I dozed off slightly, when someone knocked on my door. “Elvie, can I come in?” Joshwin asked. I agreed. “Sorry I got so mad,” he said before he closed the door behind him.

“I'm really sorry too,” I emphasized. Joshwin smiled, then rubbed his chest, telling me he felt my guilt. He sat down at the end of the bed and found my foot under the sheets. He rubbed it gently.

He sighed. “Do you understand how this is for me? Blake isn't the only one who needs to adjust.” He moistened his lower lip. “I always thought we would have more time together until we weren't alone anymore. Until I set you free.”

“But you kinda revoked your right,” I countered.

“I know.” He gently pressed his thumb against the instep of my foot.

“Do you doubt our decision?”

“No, the opposite. That little incident last night obscurely directs me that we were right.” He paused, “You are in love with him, and that is good.”

“Then what is it?”

There was a second knock on the door. “Elvia?”

Joshwin looked at me. I didn't answer Blake’s call, Joshwin did. “Not now Blake.” The tenor in his voice was cool, before he smiled triumphantly. I knew it was Joshwin's revenge to Blake and me last night. “Where were we?” His brows furrowed.

“You want to ask me something?” It was written all over his face.

“Right... Elvirina, did you go to him last night on purpose?” Joshwin's hands gripped harder around my foot as he held his breath.

“No!” I snapped insulted. I chose not to tell him that I only ran into Blake in the kitchen. But it was a no no to leave one husband in favor of another.

“Good,” Joshwin said. His hand loosened as he stoked my heel. His face fell slightly. “Do you intend to wait?” This was the sore point, the point where he had defied me.

“It is your request and I respect you. I will wait.” The guilt from last night and my love for him told me that was righteous. I still had to protect and live up to my devotion to Joshwin.

“Thank you.”

“Joshwin, there is something we need to talk about.” The subject had crossed my mind many times. Why he had put his foot down in a place where it didn't belong? I studied his beautiful face. “When I get his answer, I am going all the way.” I tried to revoke the dominance in my voice, but my instincts didn't allow me.

“I know,” he answered softly.

“Well how about our bond? We still haven't made love.” I chose not to tip toe around the words like an innocent teenager, but be an adult and be confronting. This was the reason for his disregard for our traditions, disregard for my authority. “What do you want to do about it?” I challenged. I would give him the power to execute his right. Give him what he indicated he wanted.

Joshwin looked away briefly. His lips pursed before he found my face again. ”I don't think we’re at risk. He didn't break our bond the first time and we are stronger now, because we have our commitment.”

“I see,” I answered, disappointed. I couldn't believe he didn't take what he had made a play for, but instead he dismissed it. I decided to risk it and push. “Would you want to try?” Playfully, he suddenly yanked at my leg and forcefully pulled me down in the bed. He climbed over me. His hair fell into his face and he sucked in his bottom lip. Then he waited. Waited for what? His hand fidgeted at my waist while conflict was spewed all over his face. Something was going through his head. I stared deeply into his eyes, fighting for access to his thoughts.

“Don't do that,” Joshwin admonished at my attempt to read his mind.

“Sorry,” I whispered. The grasp at my waist became a friendly stroke when he leaned in and kissed me lightly. Straddling off me, Joshwin went for his morning shower.

Yes, Joshwin was my soul mate in every sense of the way… almost. But I knew deep down in my heart he would never recover from what I did to him. On the outside he looked fine, very good I might say, he looked healthy and thriving. He looked like everything that he was, but I knew his heart would never be the same again. There would always be the fraction I had caused him and the guilt that we were to blame for everyone having to leave their true home. The heartbreak would never fully heal and he would always be a little broken. But fact of the matter was, he is my broken Joshwin. Though, never again would he be the complete Joshwin I had known my entire life. I gave up the power play and let him be. I fed him the chance he needed to relieve the tension between us, to claim what was still his to take. It would be up to him to take it now. Together we went downstairs for breakfast.

Blake was slowly chewing his cereal with waiting, watchful eyes on us as we descended. They kept shifting back and forth between Joshwin and me. Clearly he thought he was in trouble, but didn't want to say anything in front of the family. Neither did I.

Junius left the table as the last one, and he glared at me. “Oh and daughter, the next time you and Serenity help yourself to something of Vasvár's don't climb around on the roof, and please ask before taking something that doesn’t belong to you. I don’t condone stealing.”

I dropped my fork and it plunked against the plate. “Why are there no secrets at my house?” I mumbled drowned out by Joshwin and Blake roaring laughter. “How'd you know?”

“I met Serenity,” Junius simply answered.

I finished breakfast without saying a single word, but Blake had something to say. “I am really sorry about last night. I can't explain what happened. I didn't mean any disrespect. I apologize,” Blake said politely, looking directly at Joshwin.

“Don't mention it. Elvie and I already talked about it. It's no big deal,” said Joshwin evenly, smiled, and then continued eating. Blake turned to me, dumbstruck. He sat for a long time and just looked at me. Chewing slowly, clearly deliberating.

Blake wasn't here much the following week. He said he had practice and games. He almost took over Joshwin's watchful role in the family the bit that he was here. I was sad to see he didn't subtly move us into private situations like he used to. He did steal a kiss from time to time in the few moments were actually were alone, but he never arranged for more. I tried, and he defused. Oddly, he still seemed happy enough, but I feared the incident the night in his room scared him away. I was afraid that Joshwin's control to decide what we should and should not do would push Blake away. Perhaps it gave Blake the feeling that he would have no rights here, that everything was Joshwin's call. Possibly, Blake thought that was our culture, though it wasn't true. We weren't like that at all, but Joshwin, Blake and I were something new, something that had to be experienced before any result could be reported. The experiment had to be executed before we could find the conclusion whether this could work or not. I feared Blake was pulling the plug.

The pen flew over the sheet of paper. Dad had been so sweet at dinner and I wanted to show how much I loved him.

“Knock knock,” a welcome, husky voice sounded from behind me.

“Hey. I didn't think you were coming today.” I rolled on the bed and sat up straight. I was more than happy to see him.

“I wasn't planning on it,” Blake shrugged. “I got lonely.”

“Then you came to the right place.” I was thrilled my home was the place he would seek company, but secretly I anticipated he would spend less than two minutes alone with me.

“What are you doing?” I stared wide-eyed at him, thinking it was rather obvious with unfinished sketches scattered all over the floor, and my box of pencils on my bed. I lifted a graphite smeared hand. “Oh... can I help?”

“Sure.”

Blake grabbed the knob of the door, but then changed his mind. “Better leave that open.” I smiled, and I couldn't agree more, but I still felt a little disappointed. Though, previous incidents proved that Blake and I alone, behind closed doors had uncertainty and broken promises written all over it.

Blake lay down on the bed next to me. I placed a pencil in his hand and quickly discovered he couldn't draw a straight line even if his life depended on it. He settled for doing toddler-like stick figures, while I finished the sketches.

“What is this anyway?” Blake looked around at the sketches scattered over the floor.

“Something for my dad.” It was a present for him, he always made a fuss about how much he loved my sketches.  It was an appreciation of his forgiveness, or him forgiving himself so we could talk again. I wasn’t quite sure which.

Blake seemed to enjoy watching me work. He chatted while I drew. Silently, I enjoyed his occasional, simple touch to my arm, or a discrete hand on my thigh. Today he was less distant. Time passed, hours like minutes. Talking was replaced by yawning and eyelids got heavy, but I wanted to finish my drawings. I lay down on the bed, resting my head in my hand as I finished the final layers of shadings. Blake's eyes lost focus and fell shut. It had been dark for hours when I was lulled off by his rhythmical breathing.

A leg lay heavy over my waist and I was locked in a warm set of arms. I was sweaty, engulfed in Blake's warmth. I tried to move, but in that second Blake, confused, opened his eyes. The room was dimly lit by the small lamp on my desk. My sketch work was neatly placed on the floor, pencils back in the box and on my desk. Not the way they were placed the last moments before I dozed off.

“Someone trusts us.” Blake smiled and pointed to the door. It was closed.

“Do you think he should?” I couldn't help teasing a little. I was happy he was more present today. Blake took the bait and rolled me to my back pinning me down with his weight.

“I don't know,” he mused, entertained. My heart that was completely loyal to my hormones started pounding in my chest. “Do you think he would disapprove of this?” Blake leaned in and pressed his warm lips to mine. It wasn't fair he was provoking me like this. He had promised not to get me in trouble. I latched on to what he was offering and kissed him back. Blake broke the connection before any boundaries were overstepped. “Better wait,” he concluded. He stayed on top of me for a minute. “You’re sweating.”

“Wouldn't you be if you were sleeping next to a furnace?” I snapped.

Blake grinned, and kissed me shortly before he released me. He removed his sweater and tossed it to the floor. “Do you think he would throw a fit if I actually spend the night with you?” His cheeks dimpled slightly, when he threw me a smile laced with uncertainty. “Hands above the sheets, I promise.”

“Blake, I think he already did permit it.” I pointed to the closed door.

He nodded, and then his face changed completely. Blake hauled in an exaggerated breath and shoved his hands deeply in his pockets. He glanced down at me, all boyish and edged with something. He stood in this odd stance for a second before his face split into a huge smile. He closed the space between us, towering close over me and looking down at me with gleaming eyes.

I stood up and wrapped my arm around his waist. Blake didn't lock me in his usual heated, bear-like embrace. His arm moved, and something shiny dangled off his finger. A gold chain with a clear drop-shaped ornament was weighing it down. It moved slightly from side to side, like a pendulum, casting back the dim light. A ripple of deep panic shot through me as I stared the necklace. That could only mean one thing, and irrevocably, a positive one.

Blake took an erratic breath, and a sizzling shaped itself under my skin. “Elvirina, I've decided to take your offer.” He smiled privately before he continued. My outsides were frozen, but inside was boiling with anticipation. His voice changed into a serious and secret muse. ”So if you would do me the honor of being my wife, I would be honored to be your second husband.”

“Oh sweet Earth,” I heard myself mumble. This was the moment I'd been waiting for and it all came crashing down at the moment I least expected it. I was completely taken off guard. My heart hammered wildly in my chest influencing my ability to breathe.

“So what do you think?”

“About the necklace or your proposal?” I answered stupidly.

Blake laughed warmly. “The proposal actually. I am not going to do the whole down on one knee thing, because I have a feeling that doesn't really sweep you off your feet. Also you were the one proposing to me and I am accepting your proposal.”

“True, I find the human way weird.” I paused and said the impossible. “You want me?”

The chain fell in between his finger as he ran them into my hair and held my face close to his. “More than anything,” he whispered. His eyes were alit with love and passion just for me.

“Thank you.”

“Er… you're welcome. I take that as a yes. Correct me if I'm wrong,” Blake chuckled at my clumsy response to his rather fluid acceptance. “I have more to say Elvia.” Blake pressed his lips against mine demanding a kiss. I followed his depth. Now that I officially knew he was mine, he tasted even sweeter, even more seductive. Blake ended the kiss to speak again. “I am accepting this marriage on all your terms… and Joshwin's. I am sort of converting fully to your side. I will make no demands from my side of the fence.”

“I thought you would,” I blurted stunned.

“That would probably be the sane thing to do, but I see the way he loves you and the way he treats you, I don't want to destroy that. Surprisingly, I don't find anything wrong with your relationship. So I want to be a part of this family, your way, your terms.”

“When did you decide this?” I asked breathless. The erratic dancing in my chest made my breath unreliable.

“About a week ago, I think. I want you to have the life that you were supposed to.”

“I thought you were backing out after what happened between us last week.”

“No. I was trying to be more respectful. I wanted to apologize somehow,” Blake chuckled. “I was also sort of waiting for some kind of sign. I wasn't certain what, but I think this was it, that Joshwin would trust us when we are about as trustworthy as serial killers on death row.”

“I am so happy Blake,” I mumbled teary. I wrapped my arm up around his neck and held him choking tight. “I love you so much,” I breathed into his shirt.

“I love you too.” We stood like this until Blake pried my arms from his neck.

“I've been doing a little reading and I know Thumánn's don’t really believe in long engagements. So I think we should tell your family in the morning and set things in motion.”

“Blake you can take the time you need. We don't have to rush.”

He took my hand and slowly eased the chain into my palm. He folded my fingers over the necklace. “I don't need time. I need you,” he whispered.

“Is this about sex?” I cocked a suggestive brow at him.

He smiled wickedly. “Hmm… no,” he hummed. “But that is something to look forward to.”

Uncontrolled, my lips found his neck and I pushed his shirt up, pulling it over his head. I couldn't resist his warm chest and his luring smell. It spiked my blood lustfully. The taste of his skin against my tongue made my mind cloud with a familiar haze. I heard pleased moans close to my ear when my mouth worked over his upper body. Warm hands locked around my wrists and pulled my palms from Blake's soft skin and pinned them to my side. I craned my face upward to find his eyes closed, and his face twitching with anticipation. “Don’t do this, Elvia.”

I gaped, stunned, and narrowed my eyes at him. “You don’t want to?” I asked befuddled at his reaction.

He squeezed his eyes shut harder as if in pain, before he opened them. They were burning at me. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he paused briefly. “I'm not breaking my promise. I am not getting you in trouble,” he whispered hoarsely. His face was lit with desire and passion was thick in his voice. The room hummed electrically.

“It's okay,” I tried to persuade. I pressed my lips to his chest again. “We don't have to wait any longer.” I had gotten my answer. He had said yes. We wouldn't be breaking any promises.

“Perhaps, but...” He stared excruciatingly intimately down at me. “We should respect Joshwin and wait a little longer.”

Did someone just poke me with a stun gun? Not him too. I groaned loudly, or correction my hormones did. Somewhere unknown in my brain I could recognize the respect in his demand. He was being honorable and gracious to Joshwin. He wanted this done the right way and he was right. Everything inside of me told me so. It took all my power to lean from Blake's side and follow what we both knew was right.

Wisely, Blake pulled his shirt back on again and fetched a pair of sweats from his room. It was best to have as little skin as possible exposed if we were expected to go through the rest of the night with a pure conscience. My insides kept throbbing in a mixture of pure joy and undiluted desire.

Morning came and we were both proud that clothes were firmly attached to our bodies. How we made it that far I had no clue.

“I want to tell Joshwin alone. Then we can tell the rest of the family together,” I said quietly when I was resting my head on Blake’s chest. We hadn’t slept much.

“Sounds fair,” Blake agreed and stoked my back. He kissed me softly and chastely before we got up. He deliberated whether having breakfast was a good idea or if it was unsafe. He would prefer my presence when Kasardian would find out.

I showered quickly before I would tell Joshwin our family was gaining a new member. Combing through my hair I purposely left it down. A reminder I was still his soul mate, regardless that we were moving forward. I wasn't unaware this was a considerable change for Joshwin, perhaps a bigger change than it was for me. I was happy, but was Joshwin? Was he really ready for the addition to our family? Was he ready to gain a brother he initially hated, and with every right? I wasn't completely convinced. I had to protect Joshwin. I could only hope Saddettin's father was right and new marriages and new experiences built character. Would Joshwin love me enough to accept my new husband and with everything that included? Would he be able to stand the pain when I would make love with Blake for the first time as his wife? Would it build compassion or would it tear him apart? I had done it once, but could I do it again? I knew I could, but could Joshwin stand the pain?

The few steps down the hall to Joshwin's room felt like a journey of a life time. I had to consider the rest of our lives and all my unanswered questions in ten measly steps.

I tapped my finger gently against the door. Joshwin answered just like I expected he would. When I creased the door open Joshwin sad on his bed, legs up, head resting on his knee caps. I closed the door behind me while I evaluated his face. He looked tired and uncomfortable, like he had been sitting there for a long time.

“We have to talk,” I said gently. My nerves were suddenly running amuck.

“I had a feeling,” Joshwin answered quietly. His face darkened when he looked at me. This would change our lives.

“Are you okay?” I asked concerned, as I sat down across from him on the bed. Reaching out to trace a finger under his eye, he looked a little like Blake when he was away from me. Joshwin reclined his head away from my touch.

“Why would I be?” he answered bitterly. He ducked his head down between his arms, sighing deeply before he looked up again. “I can't trust you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I blurted surprised, but it fit with his unwillingness to let me touch his face.

“What do you think, Elvie?” he sneered darkly.

I raked my brain for why he would be like this. He was the one that suggested it. He was the one who had almost freed me to pursue Blake and then all of a sudden he didn't trust me? It wasn't honest. Was this his plan all along? Pushing me to what I clearly knew I couldn't have just to take it away again? I wasn't ready for that kind of reaction from him. I honestly thought he would share a little of my happiness despite his own pain. Was I that naïve?

“So how was it?” He muttered disdained. The blue color of his eyes were solid hard and degrading.

I didn't appreciate his mean, ironic composure one bit. I got defensive, and more instincts of my womanly nature kicked in. “Great, and none of your business,” I snapped.

He nodded, and then his lips tightened to a rigid line. His tone menacingly subdued. “How could you Elvirina? I thought you understood. I thought you had respect for me.”

“I do respect you Joshwin. I don't think you are being fair! I know this isn't easy for you, but I think you should be a little more considerate, especially since you suggested it.”

“Suggested it?” he spewed enraged.

The sun broke through my clouded mind. Oh sweet Earth. Joshwin assumed the wrong thing. Would I eventually learn to see when I was being so stupid and so blind? “It isn't what you think,” I rushed.

“You can't lie to me,” he bristled.

“No, I can't. Ask me so there is only one answer.” I challenged.

He chewed his bottom lip, looking at me acidic. “Did you make love to Blake during the night?”

“No... I didn't.” I made my voice softer. I could see the problem clearly now. He thought my feeling last night was something different than it was.

“Did you find a new way to lie to me?” he gritted his teeth.

It was like a slap to the face! That hurt, but I deserved it. He only reacted based on what he knew. I had found a way around lying to him before. “I'm not lying,” I answered calmly. “I didn't break my promise.”

Joshwin closed his eyes and spoke. “I felt you Elvie. Don't insult me!”

I took his face firmly in my hands and faced him head on. “Yes you did. But what you felt was something else, Joshwin. It was his answer... and perhaps a little kissing, but considering his answer I think that was allowed.” I tried to smile to lighten the tension.

“Oh,” he exclaimed. His eyes softened gradually. His breath became an erratic staggering motion of relief. It took him a while to compose himself.

I leaned my head against his. “If you thought I was breaking my promise why didn't you do something?”

“I told you, last time was your last warning,” Joshwin whispered deeply relieved.

I took his stiff pose into consideration. “Have you been sitting here since last night?” He nodded. “You haven't slept at all?”

“No.”

“I wish I would have known. I would have told you sooner.”

“Don't worry about me.” He finally released his gridlock hold around his legs and relaxed. There was a little extra moisture in the corner of his eye when he rubbed his face with his hands. “So the answer was yes.”

It bubbled blissfully inside of me. “It was. And it was an unconditional yes!”

Joshwin's brows furrowed in confusion. “Explain.”

This was the best part. This was the surprise. “Blake made no demands. No conditions. He's marrying me our way, the Thumánn way.”

Joshwin's eyes widened. “He is a more generous person than I gave him credit for.”

“He surprises us all.”

It tapped against the door and it wasn't hard to guess who it was. Joshwin allowed Blake to enter. “I waited as long as I could. So I decided to pretend I wasn't curious at all and inconspicuously bring you some tea.” Blake’s smile was tense as handed me a steaming cup. The soft smell of blackberries filled my nose.

“Thanks,” Joshwin murmured when Blake handed him the other cup. Joshwin sipped carefully at the scolding hot fluid.

“So...?” Blake's lips twitched nervously.

“Welcome to the family,” Joshwin said flatly, and then said nothing else.

“Thank you,” Blake answered and threw me a doubtful look. There was still so much for him to get used to. Joshwin took another careful taste of the tea. My cup was burning against my hands. It was awkwardly silent.

“Could you give us a little more time?” Joshwin requested and his face still stoic. I wasn't sure how a morning like this was supposed to go, but Joshwin could be a little friendlier.

“Okay. I need to go anyway.” Blake shrugged.

“Where?” I asked confused. I thought he was staying for the day.

“I have a practice game just after lunch and I want to give Joshwin time to digest.”

Joshwin face changed into an appreciative smirk. “You're good.”

“Practicing,” Blake said evenly. “Okay...” He stepped toward me, then stopped what he instinctively was about to do. “Can I… do that?” He pointed to me.

Joshwin grinned this time. “Yes.” This was natural to us, though, Blake had never done it in front of Joshwin before. So far it had only been the other way around. Joshwin never even thought about it when Blake was here. He just kissed me.

“Okay,” Blake drawled. He leaned over the bed and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “So many things to get used to.”

“You have a lifetime of practice.” I threw him a gleeful smile.

“Thanks.” He was almost out the door, when he suddenly wheeled around. “One question... where do I actually draw the line?” His face pulled into an odd grimace.

“Easy. What would you do in front of your parents?” Joshwin said, amused.

“Not much more than that.” He pointed to me again.

“Well, that's the line.”

“Nice to know. Are you comfortable with that?” Blake asked.

“Blake, it is the only thing I know.” Joshwin really laughed now.

“Oh right... see you.” Blake closed the door behind him.

“It is going to be fun having him around.” The final knots in my stomach unfolded when Joshwin honestly laughed at Blake again.

“Be nice to him,” I mock scolded. The cup was less warm in my hand now and I dared a taste without burning my tongue. I tightened my hand around the ceramic cup. “Joshwin, he wants to get married soon.”

“That's normal.” Joshwin shrugged.

“I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about you and me.”

“I know Elvie.” Joshwin sighed and placed the teacup on the night stand. He rubbed the bridge over his nose and squeezed his eyes tightly shut like he was refusing to see the monster between us.

I decided to keep it simple. I didn't want another power struggle. “If you want to try. I'm here.”

Joshwin finally looked up. “Thank you.” His frustration was clear in his magnificent blue eyes. All relationships had their diseases and this was ours.

“You have a little time. We are going to wait until we are married… out of respect for you.” Joshwin looked at me unconvinced. Knowing me so well, he inclined an incredulous brow. “His suggestion, not mine,” I warded off. I might as well admit it.

“I figured. I am happy for you though. Really happy.” Joshwin took my hand in his. This time I couldn't doubt for one second Joshwin really was happy for me, no matter the cost to him.

“You look so tired.” I pushed his hair back to clear his face. His eyes were worn, his skin looked pale and flat and his lips were tense.

“I didn't sleep at all.” Joshwin reached for his cup and emptied it, tilting the bottom up.

“You should. I'll sit with you.”

“Thanks.” Joshwin took my hand again and kissed my palm. My mind wandered to his strange behavior. This morning he had been like Jekyll and Hyde.

“Joshwin, why would you ask how it was? It was a little morbid.”

He smiled shamefaced. “I know. I was hurt and mad.” He rubbed his face with his elegant long fingers.

“I'm sorry I hurt you.”

“I sorry I didn't trust you.”

I was happy he didn't protest to the sleep. He nestled in the sheets and placed his head in my lap. It didn't take very long before his breath deepened and he dozed off. Sitting here, with his head resting on my legs my mind went into overdrive. How could I protect him? It was a landmark moment for our family. It was the threshold of change. What would this do to Joshwin? My beautiful, spirited soul mate.

I kept stroking his hair, getting my fingers tangled in the small knots. My heart ached for his pain, and for what he was about to go though. This was such a happy time for me, and a heartbreaking moment for him. Suddenly, I could see why human's found it so difficult to understand us. The unattractive future of giving my body and heart to someone other than the man I couldn't live without.

Another set of instincts kicked in. I had to protect him. I had to keep his heart as whole as it was now. I couldn't torture him any further. My marriage to Blake might not be so unappealing to him if I hadn't screwed up so much to begin with. If everything between Joshwin and I was like it was supposed to be, if we had solidified our bond, would he still be hurt by Blake’s and my marriage? I would never know that for sure, but as said before, we had to play with the hand I had dealt.

I watched his peaceful face. In his sleep it was clear of the tiny lines reminding me what I had done to him. It ripped my insides to shreds that I, once againI, would be breaking his heart. This time it wasn't an act of confusion and unrecognized desires, no, this time it was an act of love. I loved Blake. Joshwin let me love Blake the way it was natural for our culture, but was it Joshwin’s nature to heal again? I couldn't be sure. What I was sure of, was that I was going forward with Blake. Irrevocably, I couldn't give Blake up to spare Joshwin. I could only do my best to protect my soul mate.

Joshwin’s eyes fluttered behind his eyelids as if he was having a bad dream. I traced a finger lightly over the almond shape of his eyes and the motion stopped. It was strange to have happiness torn into two so completely different directions. My newly confirmed feelings for Blake, and my old soul-deep bond with Joshwin. The two didn't connect or add up. I needed to find a middle ground. I needed to protect them both. They were what was important.

I leaned my back again the head of Joshwin's bed. I was stiff and sore, though I refused to move because Joshwin needed more sleep. Something buzzed on the night stand and I picked up Joshwin's phone. The tiny envelope blinked at the corner of the display announcing there was a text. I flipped it open. C. Blake the screen inside said. I deliberated whether to read it or not. My curiosity won. I pressed the green button.

I can only hope to be as good to her as you are.

Thank U.

IOU.

Blake