The Fence

A/N 

This is a story I wrote for MVF original fiction short story contest. Surprisingly I got great reviews from the judges on plot and originality. I have to warn you though; the first chapter is violent, gritty and uncomfortable, so consider yourself warned. I hope you enjoy my story, it is a far stretch for what I normally do, but it was fun stretching my vampire lore writing muscles.

Preface

Incarceration is the detention of a person typically as punishment for a crime. People are most commonly incarcerated upon suspicion or conviction of committing a crime.

A prison in the time I live in, is not necessarily a building and four brick walls, it has changed into a community, a city bound by a fence and roaming on the inside are the murderers, rapists, child abusers, and any other type of low life known to man.

I exist amongst these people.

In the inhumane I have found the most humanity. Those who claimed to be humane were the real monsters – this I have learned while incarcerated.

Chapter One

Some time in the distant future

I sloshed through the damp streets. I didn't even bother to glance at the gray depressing walls; I knew too well what they looked like. The rain was picking up and I ran a hand under my nose as snot was starting to drip and run wild.

I was late and the sky was darkening, but I had to get the bread that would be the only thing filling our bellies tonight. I suspected Jayson would come home empty handed again. It was annoying as hell, but I would never blame him for it. He wasn’t bred for these rough streets. I just wished he would get some street smarts soon and be less co-dependent. I never doubted for a second it was a mistake to take him under my wings, small and measly as they were, I could offer him a semblance of protection no one else would give him. Besides it was only for a measured period of time; at least his punishment had an expiration date.

I skimmed the outskirts of town and viewed straight into the eye of my enemy – the fence. You could bet your ass I would get past that somehow – dead or alive. I was hoping for the latter.

The rain picked up and I tried to cover the bread with my jacket. I didn't dare to yank too hard on the crumbling fabric as it was my only shield against the freezing wind. I let my feet pound faster against the tarmac as I hurried. I didn't want to worry Jayson. I aggravated I was starting to act like a mother hen, and I had no intention of ever becoming a mother. I would never set a child into a world this dark and destructive the risk was too high.

On the other side of that fence people were sitting down for dinner, filling their mouths, rubbing their fat bellies and climbing into warm beds at night. They just wanted to ignore and contain the monsters. I wasn’t declared to be one of them, but I was here anyway.

The world around me had crumbled to its feet about three years ago. It wasn’t long after the worst loss I had experienced before the betrayal happened. My father, the bastard and treacherous kidnapper, was to blame for my deplorable state inside this hell hole.

I pushed the useless memories back and focused on the falling night. I had about three and a half minutes to get back to the cellar and the last part of the walk was at least ten minutes. I couldn't run or panic it would only lure them to me. It was like they could smell it, and I had learned the hard way that really whipped them into a frenzy.

Two kinds of existences housed inside the fence - day walkers and nightwalkers. Both were equally despicable, but they would take different things from you. Though ultimately if it was either one or the other they would leave you brutalized and used. The day walkers or rapists would take your body. The nightwalkers or vampires would take your blood. I couldn't decide which was worse – I had tried them both.

I glanced at the fence again as I turned the corner. One moment of inattention and I felt my punishment in the form of a rough hand clamped around my neck as he smashed my back against the brick wall. The air was brutally knocked from my lungs and his hand crushed harder around my throat. I tried to cough to replace the oxygen knocked from my body, but I could only use my muscles to heave without success of getting any air through.

“Well well, what have we here?” He snarled. His breath was vile and laced with alcohol made from rotten apples.

I couldn't respond. I just clutched my hand tighter around the bread. I did a quick assessment of my assailant. I needed to find the best way to play my cards and opt the most secure way to ensure Jayson wasn't spending the night alone. I knew he would come looking for me if I didn't return. If it was a nightwalker I would incline my head and pray to a god that never existed that the nightwalker was able to control himself and not drain me completely. They usually didn't suck us dry as their supply of blood was limited to the villains and doomed ones, like me, caught in this purgatory. But once in a while you would find a corpse in the street when the sun rose in the morning, relieved of their vital red fluid. Fortunately the humans on the other side of the fence seemed to fill the prison with fresh meat often, but the blood drinkers still had to rationalize their dinner and they knew it. That was the only weapon we humans had against them, but it was a hell of a hassle recuperating when they had taken your blood.

The other kind, the filthy, disgusting smelling slobs that roamed the day and whose favorite time was twilight were probably the vilest. They were the ones that would take your body. They were actually the true danger; their weapon could very possibly deliver your doom in an entirely different way. There weren't many females around, let alone young ones like me. If you lived to see menopause, you could take an easy breath and live as safely as it would ever be possible in hells front yard. If you ever reached that age, you couldn't bear children and then worst of the repulsive men could only use you for their own pleasure. They couldn't breed you and sell you. You were practically useless then. But being eighteen years old, I was prime meat.

I glanced at his eyes. His blinking was too slow, though his clutching of my throat was strong. He was the latter of my bad luck. He was a creature to take my body. I glanced in hope of seeing the familiar red encircle the iris of his eyes, but I found none.

I picked my weapon for this kind of attack and held his eyes. I stared directly at him. I had learned over time that some of these fuckers actually had a semblance of a conscience and staring at them sometimes made them lose their nerve when they needed female parts to quench their need for companionship.

His eyes were cold and hard, his breath sickeningly hot against my face. He wheezed through his teeth, snarling with lust. He ripped at my already tattered jacket and then tore my thin shirt. He knocked my hat from my head and my braid fell to my shoulder. I knew I should have sliced my hair short, Jayson begged me to constantly so I would look more like a boy. Once again I wished I listened to him. But much as I tried I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was all I had left of my mother. My hair – it was just like hers and I remembered her telling me she loved it.

His free hand roamed down the swirls of tresses and his eyes lit up with excitement. He tore harder at my shirt, parting it from my body, revealing the tight bandage I had choking around my breasts.

He chuckled menacingly. “What a pity you have those fine things packed away so tightly. I would really enjoy biting those nipples of yours.” He hissed.

The muscles in my belly clenched mechanically, though I wished they wouldn’t. It would hurt all the more then, but his nasty words made my body react in way I couldn't control. I couldn't answer, just kept my eyes on him. It wasn't working. There wasn't a shred of humanity left in him. I assessed his frame only to find it massive and as strong as his hand. I had stopped fighting for air hoping that would eventually leave him to ease his hold and I would breathe undetected. I hoped to increase my chance of survival or at least to have the strength for a counter attack. All tricks you learn along the way.

I stared at his rigid steel lips and the stubbles on his chin. He bared his teeth in a ghost of a peril smile and I knew he was a breeder. This man was the worst of the day walkers. He would breed on me till he succeeded and when pregnant and swollen he would sell me to the night walkers and it was certain death for me. There was no higher, no more valuable commodity for a vampire than the blood of a baby taken from its mother’s womb.

With taut muscles I tried to lick my lips. I would let him have his way with me as that would be the least of my concerns, then I would fire my attack when his attention was drawn toward himself. I wouldn't let him trap me.

“Please let me help you?” I wheezed as loudly as I could. I tried to muster a smile.

“What was that again?” He growled.

“Let me make it good for you.”

“Horny little bitch, aren't you?” His lips drew back from his teeth that were an awful shade of yellow and brown. He teeth were filled with cavities and he had a rotten breath to match.

I dry heaved and I licked my lips again, feigning with every cell of my body that I was okay with his assault.

“Glad to see it's going to be pussy tonight and not some boy’s ass.” He snarled. “But you better be fucking tight.”

I nodded woodenly. I let the bread drop into the puddle at my feet, forgoing dinner. My fingers trembled when I started to unbutton my pants to spare them the same treatment my shirt had gotten. It was the only clothes I had.

His eyes drifted south and I saw my opportunity. I launched my knee towards his crotch with as much force as I could gather. His hand blocked his privates and squashed around my thigh with brute force. It hurt like hell and I cried out from the pain.

“You don't think I have you figured out little bitch?” He laughed and forced my body back against the wall. I was sure he pressed his erection against my belly for a reason. I swallowed deadly feeling his rather massive size. This was going to hurt. I mentally flogged myself for not waiting for a better opening for my attack. I knew better and now I was in for it.

I heard my pants tear, before I felt the cold breeze against my thighs. I closed my eyes for a moment reading myself for what was coming. I was hopelessly trapped between the wall and his body. A sharp pain rammed into my chest and his cold laughter rang out. I cringed and coughed violently from the searing pain in my torso.

“Serves you fucking right for disrespecting me. You think you can knee my nuts and not pay for it?” He hissed.

I instantly tasted the blood in the back of my mouth. Fuck! Now the vampires would smell me too. I tried to breathe but my lungs were impaired from the traumatic shock from where he elbowed me in the ribs.

The inevitable happened almost to fast for me to register as my mind was woozy from the lack of air. With his brute strength he forced me to face the wall and closed his hands with iron strength around my wrists holding them tight at my back. I was pushed forward and smacked my head into the rough brick wall. I gritted my teeth hard when I felt him uncover my backside. I bit my tongue not to cry out as he rammed into me with punishing force. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing my screams as he raped me. He was rougher than I had ever been assaulted before, taking no mercy on me. I did what I always do – I focused on the fence. Mentally, I searched for any kind of breach, a weakness that would give Jayson and me our freedom. I would find it - no matter how long it took.

The impairing movements stilled from behind me and his panting was loud. I knew he was about to finish. Now was my time and his weak moment was here, as his hand loosened around my wrists. He would be unfocused for just a few moments but that was all I needed. He yanked out of me roughly and I winced. I listened to his horrible sated breaths and counted to three. One, two, three.

I spun around and this time I didn't miss a beat when I flung my knee hard into his crotch. A sickening crushing sounded, like I was actually lucky enough to smash his nuts. I rejoiced when I watched him crumble to the ground in a roar of agonizing pain. He coiled to his back with his hands clutched over his privates.

“Serves you fucking right for disrespecting me!” I echoed his words. I drew back my foot and rammed it into his nuts again, hopefully smashing the other one too. I gathered a large amount of bloody saliva on the back of my tongue, drew a sharp breath and spit the blood soaked mucus at his face. “Fuck you, you disgusting prick!” I spat.

I gathered up my pants, luckily they still had the ability to close around my waist, but they needed a needle and thread to be truly wearable again. I felt a warmth stream run down my thigh and soak the fabric. I was bleeding pretty badly. I bend to pick up the soggy bread and cringed brutally from the pain in my chest where he had punched me. I glanced up at the sky and realized I was out of time. The night walkers were coming, I could only hope he wouldn't be starving and then I might stand a chance. I tucked the mushy bread under my arm and made a run for it. But with the stinging pain between my legs becoming more forceful and the bruise in my chest, it was a lost cause. I moved as fast as I could, but it didn't take long before I felt the hairs rise on my neck – nightwalkers.

I stopped abruptly and bent my head. I couldn’t fight the nightwalkers. A pig whose dick would probably never harden again I could fight, but not them. The vampires, they were invincible. I could only beg for mercy and lenience.

Before I could close my eyes I felt the cold fingers softly graze my pulse. “Drink. Make it quick.” I said. I was already humiliated and in no mood to be fucking around. I knew Jayson was probably wearing a hole in the floor, pacing and awaiting my return.

“So demanding.” The surprisingly gentle voice said, sounding slightly amused.

“Just get it over with.” I whispered, fearing my next humiliation - tears. Those treacherous pools of fluid I would never accept. I would much rather endure this.

“I promise I’ll be gentle.” He said with an understanding I had never heard in one of them. Normally they were savages and if you were really unlucky, as I was right now, he would tear your flesh from your bones drinking from you.

Cool long fingers laced across my forehead, tilting my head up and away from my submissive pose. He kept craning my head back till it landed at his shoulder, resting calmly. My nerves made my blood run furiously in my veins, but I guessed that was just appetizing for someone like him. “Relax.” He whispered. And I did. Inexplicably my pain started to disintegrate. The stabbing in my chest and the burning at the apex of my thighs subsided. I took a deep breath and a surprisingly gentle grass-like smell sifted through my nostrils. It was a calming and soothing smell, not the vile death and decaying odor many of the vampires were sporting.

I knew he dug his teeth into the flesh of my neck, but I didn't feel pain there either. Normally it hurt like hell, like a branding iron pressed into your skin. On the outside of the fence, the general idea was that a vampire bite was exotic and sensual, not that I understood the concept of something erotic, but nothing was further from the truth. Only this bite felt like a gentle graze of fingers at sore flesh. I felt the suction from his mouth as he pulled my blood from my body. He sucked in long thirsty pulls and I could hear his swallowing noises as my blood passed through his throat. I closed my eyes and leaned back against his hard chilling body feeling sleepy.

“Don't sleep.” He mused thickly, with sounds of an overflow of blood in his mouth. I heard him swallow again, like he was cleansing his mouth. Cold lips kissed my neck, and a gentle pressure of his tongue sealed the multiple punctures from his teeth. He kissed me again. Almost like a gentle lover, but not quite. “Thank you.”

Wow a polite vampire, who knew, perhaps the fucking rapist could learn some of his manners. I frowned as I wanted to spin around and see him, but I knew it was fruitless. He would be gone within my next heartbeat. I felt a slight push against my back as he forced my body from his. And as fast as he appeared his hands were gone from my forehead. The pain was back in a flash and in ten fold. I suddenly remembered my priorities and I needed to get to the drain before the next bad thing would wash over me. I wasn't sure how much more I could take for tonight. I had been raped, drained and lost dinner all in one single night.

I stumbled forward; feeling like every single rib in my chest had been broken and like someone was continuously stabbing dull needles into my female parts.

I had to use all my force to pull back the grate and shimmy through. The iron complained as it smashed back against the concrete. I drew a sigh of relief as I jammed the split and locked it.

“Kenna.” I heard a voice echo though the narrow claustrophobic halls. “Kenna, Kenna?”

“Yeah.” I croaked, bracing my hands against my knees.

“Are you safe?” Jayson yelled.

“Sort off.” I wheezed. His footsteps faltered and I lifted my head up to peer at him. His lips vanished into a rigid line when he saw me.

“Which one?” He asked. He carefully examined my ruined clothes.

“Both.” I whispered, really feeling the devastation and humiliation now.

“I'm so sorry.” He grabbed my shoulders and helped straighten me to walk the last bit to the cellar. I took wobbly steps towards my home, the cold and clammy room that provided a roof over our heads, but not much more than that.

“You need to be washed.” He stated, not in question.

“I do.” I muttered. “As fast as possible.”

Back in the room Jayson uncovered the remedies for a wash; it was practically our only belongings. He put on a kettle to boil the water set aside for just such an event. He found the tube and the funnel and I avoided even looking at it. I gently sat down on the moldy mattress, putting as little pressure as possible on my backside.

“I'll manage.” I said curtly. Jayson stared at me, but said nothing. He came over and helped me out of the jacket and my ruined shirt. I winced with every movement of my muscles. He prodded softly with his skilled fingers around my chest and made an assessment.

“Two broken ribs.” He paused. “I'll do it or you’ll puncture a lung.” Sure, Jayson was younger than me but he was wise beyond his years. Scraping by with just your fingernails you were bound to attract that quality.

I sighed. I knew I wouldn't be able to wash out what the vile man left inside me good enough, so I just nodded in agreement. I lay back, trying effortlessly to relax as Jayson rushed to get the water cooled. He peeled my ruined pants down and off my legs. “You're bleeding a lot.” He said quietly.

“I know.” I agreed. The rape had been violent and I would have been surprised if I wasn't bleeding.

I heard him fiddle around, metal bowls hitting the concrete floor. “I'm gonna start now.” He informed quietly. Once again I made do with a simple head nod. I felt his familiar hand at my thighs as he pushed my legs apart and I tried not to hiss as it hurt like hell. My flesh was throbbing and swelling. Jayson growled profanities under his breath when he examined the extent of my trauma this time. “This is gonna hurt.” I felt him insert the rubber tube into me and I bit my tongue as the edges of the tube scraped my broken insides. Tears pooled in my eyes and anger surged inside me like a mad man.

“Relax.” Jayson reminded me. I felt his friendly stroke at my thigh, it was soothing. There was never anything romantic between us, nor would there ever be. I would never willingly give my body to anyone. I didn’t see the point. And he swore he would never want to take one. That was the deal we made the first time he had to do my wash after a rape. This was the third time - practice made perfect I guessed. I was glad he never showed his disgust with my body as deplorable as it was. A disgusting used shell that held my brain and I only saw it as a vessel to get from A to B.

I felt the warm water rush inside me as he started to cleanse my body from the disgusting mans seed. It took a while.

“Done.” He said quietly and started packing everything away. I watched him pour another bowl of water and soaked a cloth into it. He sat down beside me and ran the cloth over my arm. He drenched it again and forced the water from the fibers. He ran it over my face, and tilted my head up to examine the bite marks. “Those aren't too bad.” He said and washed over the area. He soaked the cloth once more and ran it over my stomach. He repeated this ritual with every inch of my body, as that would cleanse me from the attack. “Did you get him this time?” He asked.

“I did. Smashed his goddamn nuts.”

“Good for you Kenna.”

“I lost the bread.”

“That's okay, I wasn't hungry anyway.” Jayson shrugged.

“Liar.”

Jayson smiled softly. “Get some sleep. I'll finish this.” I glanced at the bowl with the bloody water, whatnot and shuddered. Jayson pulled his shirt off and slipped it over my body. All we had were the clothes on our backs. Now I was really feeling how unfair my world was. I curled my abused body into a fetal position and pulled the sheet to my chin while I fought the pressing tears.

Jayson climbed into bed some time later when I was checked out of this world. We shared the bed for several reasons. We only had this one lumpy mattress and it was easier to keep warm when holding each other. And last but not least, it kept the nightmares away on a night like this.

“Your period was two weeks ago.” Jayson sighed. He knew every thing about me – even this.

“I know.” I said, though I didn't really keep track, but that just made it an even worse night for a rape.

Chapter Two

Food was sparse as I was a sitting duck now.

The men that walked the day could no longer see me, I had to keep hidden. And the men that walked the night would smell me, no doubt. Jayson was not the greatest to provide the food and our ribs were becoming too prominent and our cheeks were hollowing. We were starving. But we weren't the only ones; all humans inside the fence were fighting for the scraps of food available.

We had tried everything under the sun to remove the baby from my body, but to no avail. It was still soundly growing inside of me, and made my belly swollen. The wash hadn't worked, neither had the metal wire Jayson had poked into my uterus or the violent physical activity or the rape that followed. Nothing had been able to make me lose the baby. So now I was facing death. It was getting harder everyday to conceal my pregnancy and Jayson often refused to let me help provide the food. He insisted I kept hidden in our cellar. He knew as well as I did, if anyone saw me, the breeders would stop at nothing to get to me. They wanted my baby, everyone wanted the baby, and I was unfortunately finding it harder everyday to let it go.

I wondered how the kid could keep growing when I put next to nothing in my mouth and I was feeling weaker by the day. My world was a cesspool of danger, but I was at the brink of not caring. What was worse? Starving to death in our damp home or bleed to death by a vampire? Did it even matter anymore; death would be the outcome no matter how it was served. The idea of ending my days was becoming increasingly more flattering and if it wasn't for Jayson I would probably have done it by now. I had no future. Why fight for the next sunrise? I didn't see the point, but Jayson did, his baby sister was on the other side of that fence and he was getting back to her. Jayson was the lucky one, he was serving time and had six months left of hell to endure, then he would see the outside of the fence again. He would see the frail girl that was his only family. He would have food to put in his stomach and money from his parents death to buy it. He was only here because the settlement had taken so long to arrive and back then he had learned how a hollow stomach felt. He had stolen one piece of bread and two oranges, and as mentioned he is an utterly useless as a thief and he was caught. The punishment was one and a half year behind the fence. It was our time’s version of a prison, an old part of a city enclosed by a fence that was deadly to anyone on the inside.

We had spend many days when the light was bright scanning the fence for any kind of breach, a tree, a place to dig underneath, a place to cut the wire, a place to circumvent the electricity, but we has found nothing, there was no way out. We had scaled the gates; the only legal point of opening, but it was too heavily guarded and mined with traps. You would get burned, decapitated, chopped into pieces, fed to vampires on a blood bend or bred to death with violent rapes and grotesque births. We were helplessly trapped, I was more so than Jayson. He would once again taste freedom, a prerogative I didn't have as I was in for life.

“I am coming.” I insisted.

“Kenna.” Jayson sighed.

“End of story. We need to eat.” I finished harshly.

“Okay.” Jayson finally agreed. The bones in his chest were starting to poke my back when he held me at night. His arms were thinning and his eyes growing dull. I guessed I looked much the same way.

I pulled on my jacket Jayson had inexplicably been able to mend so many times now it was ridiculous. We were in desperate need to find new clothes, but when you can't even fill your stomach, where did you find money or means for clothes? We had nothing to bargain with, nothing to sell.

We closed the rusty gate to the drain. I glanced at the cloudless winter sky, the rays of the sun were fiercely bright, but without any kind of warmth to heat our skins. The frosty wind softly swept through the streets. We passed the small shops where they barely had food as the people on the other side hadn't found mercy to provide the starving human inmates with as much as dry bread or rotten potatoes. But yesterday it had been informed that rations were coming through. Most people huddled at the entrance, but not us. With their attention drawn away from us, a few tricks and long fingers would be enough. We passed the fence for the millionth time and Jayson slowed his pace. It was pointless to use the time on this unsolvable myth when the hours of daylight were so few and we would once more be condemned to our moist cellar. I refused to slow down or acknowledge what was on the other side. I found I had lost something else – hope.

The screams could be heard from the outskirts of our hell. Then the loud humming of hundreds of feet that pounded the asphalt just before the gunshot ricocheted from the other side of the fence. The pressure had once again been too much for the guards and they had fired into the crowd. Today more people would die and the blood would draw out the night walkers, the vampires would come out to feed soon enough. The hoard moved towards us at immense speed and we were suddenly soaked in the agitated crowd as the screams and squeals sounded all around us. Mostly it was all men that by day pretended to be desperate people, but by night they would be rapists or breeders. They were the ones that wanted me.

I started to panic as I was swallowed up by the agitated crowd. I missed feeling my strength and instincts from before I became a bull’s eye inside the fence. I heard Jayson call my name repeatedly as we were pulled in opposite directions by the mob running from the guns. I wondered shortly if I placed myself in front of their barrels would they shoot me and would I be free of here?

I tried to fight my way through the abundance of arm and legs, faces and bodies, but I was only carried further away from him. I was lost in the mayhem of peoples panic. My footing vanished and the asphalt hit my face faster than I thought possible. I blacked out when someone stepped on my head - I was too weak.

A sharp pain shot up my fingers as I tried to curl them into a fist in instinctive self defense. I peeled my lids open to stare directly into the black tarmac. I grunted from the pain everywhere in my body. It reminded me a bit like I had had a date with the baseball bat, but I hadn't been holding it – I had been the ball. I stared at my hand as I could make out a multitude of shoe prints on my fist and arm. I had literally been run over by the angry mob. But it was quiet now – almost. That could only mean one thing, we hadn't gotten our hands on any of the food.

I tuned into the almost silence and I recognized the sound, it was fists hitting bodies. In the dusk I saw his narrow shoulders where two men held him, as a third pounded on him. For what good did it do them? He had nothing they wanted; we hadn't gotten to any of the food.

The light disappeared behind the buildings. It would only be minutes now and the vampires would be out too.

“Jayson.” I screamed. He growled something I couldn't make out and spat a large amount of blood to the ground from his mouth. “Jayson.” I shouted as I stumbled to my feet and tore up the asphalt trying to get to him. I pushed back the pain that was screaming from every cell of my body as I fought to reach him.

I heard the loud bang and watched his neck start to bleed profusely. Jayson's limp body sank to the ground and he didn't move anymore. I screamed agonizingly as the only thing I had left in this world was bleeding to death before my very eyes.

“Get the girl.” A low voice demanded.

“Jayson.” I screamed again, trying to claw my way to him. I could almost touch his fingers when I was hit. I didn't see the fist coming as it smashed into my chest. I lost consciousness again.

I opened my eyes gasping for air with Jayson's name rolling soundlessly from my lips. It couldn't be much later, but there was a different commotion and something metallic skidded across the street, stopping in front of me.

Wet gurgling and sickeningly chocking noises sounded along with strangled cries for help. I glanced upward and directly into cold unforgiving eyes of an icy blond vampire. He was draining the body of a man. He was sucking hard as the twitching of the body he was holding subsided. The evil stare ran down my spin like acid and I was not going out like that.

I felt the cold unforgiving metal in my hand and I locked my fingers hard around the handle. I tilted the barrel towards my chin and pressed the hard metal against my skin. I was sure this would work just fine – better than fine actually. It would be quick and painless opposed to the lifeless man hanging dead from the vampire’s mouth in front of me. I squeezed the trigger of the gun.

“You don't get that chance sweetheart.” A cold voice rang out and I no longer felt the gun in my hand. I lifted my eyes blinded by tears and stared coldly at him. The crimson circles in his eyes were prominent and his skin was pale. Another vampire.

“You wanna finish the job?” I hissed morbidly.

He didn't answer just stuffed the gun into his waistband while he stared at me perplexed. He yanked me up by the collar of my jacket and I hung there like a rag doll. He gasped horrified when he glanced down my body. “You stupid girl. Why didn't you get rid of that thing?” He hissed.

“You don't think I tried?” I countered and cocked a brow at him. He just growled under his breath as he pulled me along. Dragged down the street, I noticed a third vampire. He was far younger, lanky, but exact and swift in his movements as he blurred past my eyes. Cold fingers closed over my vision and darkness was the only thing that was left. I let myself sink into the blackness, hoping it would last forever.

I ran my hand over the unfamiliar stone floor, feeling the subtle warmth and not the damp cold cement I was so used to. There were no longer hands covering my eyes and I was free to peel my eyes open. I stared around at the rather homey room where there was furniture, a fireplace softly crackling, a dry floor, but that wasn't going to fool me. The room wasn't empty for long as I saw one of them gently leave a nets filled with food on the table.

A skittish woman appeared from the shadows and with dainty fingers she started unpacking fruit, flour, grains, butter, sugar, cheese. There was even about a pound of meat. I couldn't remember the last time I had meat. My mouth instantly flooded with saliva at the look and faint smell of all these edible things. It was an involuntary bodily response but my body wouldn’t listen to my mind, it only screamed for the food. The woman obliviously kept unpacking items from the second bag. She pulled out two huge balls of yarn, she smiled gratefully and set them aside.

“Eat something, and then come to my room.” The tall dark one said emotionless when he appeared flying past me from behind. I flinched at the sudden movement. Her breath hitched as she suddenly was aware of my presence. How could she not have seen me sitting here in the middle of the room? Her fingers suddenly trembled and she was about to drop the juice she was holding.

The lanky one who had left the food on the table stepped to her side. He gently laid his fingers around her wrist and the tremors stopped. “Maya.” He whispered, and then murmured something else. She finally nodded slightly in response without taking her eyes off me.

“Would you like an orange? I'll peel it for you.” She offered in a tiny voice.

I stared at her wide eyed, then at the food. Sure there was a lot of it, but I never experienced anyone willingly sharing and forgoing something that would eventually end up in their own belly. I wanted to respond but I was paralyzed.

The woman’s bony fingers dug into the peel and started ribbing it off, freeing the orange meat inside. The sweet and lively smell of the fruit spread into the room and I was horribly aware how empty my stomach was. It snarled ferociously, screaming for the orange I was desperately hoping she would still give to me.

The frail woman took a deep breath and a tentative step towards me. She held the peeled orange out towards me. It took everything inside of me not to rip it from her hand taking her arm off. I felt the soft moist skin of the orange against my fingers and I nearly fainted at the smell. Then I lost any restraint I had and dug my teeth feverishly into it, breaking the skin and letting all that sweet juice drench my mouth. I devoured the orange and was instantly hungry for more. My eyes fled to the table still laced with the groceries left to be unpacked.

“No more.” The lanky one said emotionless as he re-emerged into the gloomy lit space. His face was clouded by shadows and I couldn't asses his mood in the dim light. It made me a bit edgy as vampires were volatile and irrational, though I had never been in a lair before.

The timid woman nodded softly in response and put down the second orange.

“So what am I doing here?” I bit to remove my focus from the food.

“Name’s Connor.” He replied evenly. I knew he gazed down at me, but I still couldn't see his face properly.

“I don't give a shit what your name is!”

“You better watch your mouth around here!” The tank like one ordered icily as he suddenly was back too. “And your manners.” He said while gazing disapprovingly at my face. “Get her cleaned up.”

“Fuck you.” I spat. He didn't get to tell me what to do. He would have to kill me before that happened.

He turned slowly, staring at me menacingly. “Did I not just warn you?” He hissed low and frosty. “Which part of that was too hard for you to understand?”

I didn't answer, just shifted my eyes to stare stubbornly into nothing. I wouldn't give him the pleasure of bossing me around. I had no boss, I only had myself now. I pushed the flaring image of Jayson's bleeding body back. I would deal with that later – if I had a later. That was truly the matter at hand.

“Connor.” The large dark vampire said stoically.

“I'll take care of it.” He responded evenly.

I stared at them... take care of what? My hand coil protectively across my stomach though it was what would be my death, I couldn't help it. Were they talking my child now? “Take care of what?” I dared before the ignorance would eat me up.

“Getting you cleaned up.”

“Why?” I wondered. Why would they even bother?

“Why?” The large one laughed coldly. “Because you’re stinking up my place and I won't tolerate it.” His eyes shifted and the dull red circles in his eyes started to glow. “Now. Maya.” He ordered void of emotions and he left without another word.

I stared at the woman as she hardly responded the vampire with more than a blink of an eye. I instantly felt horrible for her deplorable state. I would rather be on the street dying than being forced to do whatever by a cold vampire like the heartless one that just left the room. “What is he doing to her?” I asked, though I had a pretty strong idea. It was the only thing they ever did with a human - drain them from their life’s essence. So she was here as a blood bank to them all? How convenient for them. Fuckers!

“Feeding.” The one named Connor responded.

“I figured.” I muttered under my breath. “So when will you get around to killing me or will you just drain me like that poor woman?”

He didn't answer just left the room. Not now I guessed. I slowly licked the remainders of orange juice from my fingers. I contemplated on how far I would get with that other orange before the vampires would stop me. It was pretty clear they weren't going to waste more food on me.

“Follow me please.” He said matter-of-factly, when he was suddenly back in the room.

“No.” I refused.

“You can walk or I will do the walking for you.” He said flatly, not really threatening.

I just gritted my teeth and stayed put.

“Very well.” He said low. Before I knew what hit me, he had me on my feet with his hand locked like a tourniquet around my bicep. I was confused suddenly as something familiarly wafted past my nose. It was pleasant, soft and welcoming. It was the smell of a light summer breeze and fresh cut grass from my childhood. I knew that scent from somewhere other than my childhood memories.

I willed my body into taking steps next to the vampire as I figured he would have no problem chopping my legs off if I didn't corporate. I was pulled down a dark hall and my heart started racing, pumping my blood violently. So stupid, why would my body insist on serving myself up like this. Where was he taking me? Probably to some sort of a dungeon where I would be chained to a wall, like that other woman – Maya.

He opened a door to another sparsely lit room and pushed me inside. It took a few moments to get my bearings as it was nothing like I expected. It was still the granite boulder walls, but it was warm as the rest of the place with a huge wooden bathtub. A large faucet mounted on the wall was pouring masses of water into it.

“Take your clothes off.” He said evenly.

I swallowed convulsively. I had been down this road before, just not with a vampire. The rapists had never asked me to take my clothes off; they just got on with their business. So here I was with a death wish and in a vampire lair. I wanted to leave this world, but the last thing I wanted to do was to die begging on my knees. I was going out with my head held high. He couldn't break me.

I unbuttoned my pants, ignoring the throb in my broken fingers, letting them slip to the ground. Next I was my out of my shirt and then the sodden singlet.

“Get in.” He ordered without even glancing at me, just kept fiddling with something white in a small box placed on a wooden bench. I was confused for a moment and just stared at him. I held my stance in front of him, naked as the day I was born.

He finally glanced at me and light fell on his face, revealing his features. They were angular, sharp, not particularly pretty or handsome, just strong. His eyes were deep set and with blood red circles around the pitch black irises. His lips were full, slightly pale and the nose had a marginal bump to it. He turned humanly slow and straightened his back, looking directly back at me. “Your naked breasts or your crotch will not affect me. So you can give up whatever it is you’re trying to do, because it will not happen. Now get in the tub.”

Confused as ever, I had never not been taken, so I did as I was ordered, probably for the first time in my life. I submerged my body into the surprisingly warm water. I stared down at my arms and for the first time I noticed how sodden and soiled my skin had become. It had been months since I had had a good wash. Jayson never complained, neither did I as we were deteriorating together as time passed.

“Wash. I'll be back.” He ordered and handed me a bar of soap and a washcloth. I nodded woodenly as everything was so unexpected. I didn't know up from down as I hadn't been treated this kindly for at least three years. So I stared washing my body starting at my toes and working my way up.

“Give me your hand.”

I yelped at his sudden presence. “God... make a fucking noise!” I muttered under my breath.

“I'll remember that.” He said, and then actually smiled thinly. “Your hand.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked carefully, wondering if he would sink his teeth into my wrist.

“Reset your fingers.”

“Oh.” I mumbled surprised.

“They will set wrong if I don't.” He moved and sat down on the edge of the tub. Purposely ignoring the fact I was still naked and in the tub.

I held out my hand for him and I appreciated my fingers were cold and set in a sickeningly angle from my palm. He coiled his cold fingers around my wrist and my entire hand went numb. I took a deep breath and smelled that relaxing summer smell again. The idea of running barefooted and happy over a lawn with soft green grass came to mind. I remembered that smell from earlier. I stared up at him as the familiarity washed over me though I had never seen his face. He was the polite fucking vampire who had once taken my blood.

“I know you.” I breathed.

“Yes.” He answered evenly. I heard the snap as he pulled my fingers back into place, but I felt no pain. It was like the time he had bitten me, that night I had been battered and bruised, but he had made me feel no pain. He held his hand around my waist and reached for a flat metal rod. “This will hurt.” I stared at the rod wide eyed, scared what that was for. What kind of torture appliance that could be. He chuckled under his breath. “It's not what you think.” He slowly released my wrist and pain started throbbing in my hand.

“Aw.” I winced as the pain intensified. I suddenly understood what he meant. Removing his hand he removed my painkiller.

He swiftly bent the rod, shaping the metal like it was made from wax, before he slipped it onto my fingers where it worked as a makeshift splint, then taped it firmly to my fingers.

“Nice.” I admired, mentally flogging myself for not thinking like this whenever Jayson or I had broken fingers or toes in the past – it had been a reoccurring event.

He wrapped his cool fingers around my wrist again and the pain went away. I looked up at his face again. Now that he hadn't hurt me, it looked less harsh. “You control pain.” I stated.

“I do.” He paused. “Did you wash?”

“As much as I could.”

He didn't respond just picked up the washcloth and pulled me forward tugging on my bad hand. He softly ran the cloth up and down my back, washing me. “You really are much too thin.” He muttered.

I snorted. “Starving will do that to you.”

It was silent for a moment. “How far along are you?” He asked gently. He actually had a rather soothing voice now that I thought about it.

“About five months.”

“Was your mate the father?”

I sighed. The vampire mentioning Jayson made an unexpected pain flare inside of me and I gritted my teeth. “He wasn't my mate. He was my friend.”

“Rape then?” He continued.

“Of course.” I countered. “The night you bit me.”

“I see.” He said vacant of any kind of emotion. He dropped the cloth into the water. “I have to let go off your hand again.” I nodded in response. His weight shifted and I felt him lift the long braid from my shoulder. Before I could react further it was no longer attached to my head.

I shifted to stare horrified at him, anger surged inside of me and I sneered at him. “You had no fucking right to do that!” I hissed. The braid fell across my raised knees. He had cut my hair off. Cold fingers made the pain lessen in my hand again.

“No.” He answered flatly. ”But it was matted and filled with vermin – lice.” He said matter-of-factly once more.

“Oh.” I muttered. I stared at the dark severed braid. It was pretty nasty, I knew that, but I had ignored that purposefully. Cutting off my hair, he had severed the only bond I had left of my mother. Now there was nothing left. I suddenly felt horribly empty. I had lost everything. It was a good thing I had a lot of practice ignoring painful memories.

“I have to let go of you hand once more.” He informed like reading a piece of legal paper to me.

“What ever.” I bit and the throbbing in my hand was back.

A cool thick liquid landed on the top of my head and I smelled the horrible scent of the delousing shampoo. I had tried to get some as both Jayson and I could have used a good scrubbing with that, but it had been impossible to get your hands on something like that. I felt his firm fingers work over my scalp, before the fine-toothed comb raked over my head.

The water was cooling as I was getting out. I was left alone to dry off and I put on some new unfamiliar clothes he had left for me. I laced my fingers into my surprisingly light hair and felt the large curls run wildly over my head. I couldn’t believe my hair was short. I pushed back the loss as there wasn't a damn thing to do about it now. I carefully stepped into the hall that was partially lit from an open door a little further down the hall. I could just make out a frail body curled up on a bed. I hoped he hadn't sucked the life out of her.

I decided not to check on her as she wasn't really my concern right now, even though she had been nice to me. I passed several doors as I found myself in the large room again.

All three of them were there now, and it ran coldly down my spine as I locked eyes with the truly hateful one. He pulled his lips back from his teeth and snarled at me. It was like he almost crouched ready to attack me, ready to rip my throat open.

“Zeke! Get out!” The large and serious one spat. Before I could blink he was gone, only leaving a whirlwind of confusion behind. Great, another name. I had two now, Zeke and Connor. So far I liked Connor the best; there wasn't much about Zeke to like.

The food unpacked by the woman had been put away. It was replaced by a plate with two small pieces of bread with a thin layer of butter spread on them. They were sitting on a plate and joined by a glass of water.

“Eat.” Connor said.

“Not very verbose, ... are we?” I muttered under my breath and sat down. I noticed him chuckle lightly before turning away from me. The tall cold one stared at me from his stance beside the fireplace, not saying another word. “What?” I spat narrowing my eyes at him.

“Nothing.” He snarled.

“Alex.” Connor said evenly and handed him an identical plate, only this one was filled with an abundance of delicacies. All which made my mouth water. “Maya didn't have time to eat.” He said quietly. The other one took the plate without as much as a thank you.

A third name – Alex. There we go, the names of three vampires... what the hell was I supposed to do now?

I swallowed the bread and downed the water in about three and a half seconds. “Can I have more?” I lifted my eyes defiantly to Connor.

“No.” He answered evenly again.

“I see... differential treatment.” I countered, glaring back at him, feeling a little insulted that the submissive blood bank was allowed more food than I was.

“No. Your body is starving and won't understand masses of food. You'll get sick if you eat too much.” He answered in that matter-of-factly way again.

I stared right back at him, stunned. Was he actually protecting me?

“What is your name?” He asked softly.

“Kenna.” I whispered.

Chapter Three

Cold sweat covered my entire body and the scream was building in my throat. I swallowed convulsively and tried to slow my breath. I had nightmares now. It seemed the further I was pulled from the violence on the streets, the more real it became in my dreams.

I bounced around the bed, searching for Maya’s warm hand, but all I found were empty sheets. I sighed, the coldhearted bastard must have needed her services again.

I shared a room with Maya now. I liked her for the most part, she was a complex person with so many moods and trigger points and it was hard to keep up with her antics. She never told me anything about herself. Every time I asked she would just get this vacant stare in her eyes and fall completely silent. She could stay catatonic like this until Alex eventually barked an order at her or called her to his room. I hated he did it, that he used her like that, but what I hated more was the she never put up a fight or as much as lift a brow at Alex's inhumane need.

I sat up and raked my fingers into my hair. Curls were still running wild over my head, but as a protest to Connor for cutting it off, I never lifted one single finger to attempt to tame them. They would just have to deal with my disarrayed tresses.

I pulled my thick woolen socks on. I had come to treasure them, compliments of Maya and her nerves; she knitted when they were running amuck. The balls of yarn were wisely spent by her and I had been graced with a pair of home knit socks, one purple and one black.

My life here was rather comfortable compared to the damp cellar I shared with Jayson and we had been starving. Here I had food and for some odd reason all the fireplaces were always crackling with embers, rooms were warm and toasty. The lair was an old cellar of a castle, forgotten by time. The part we inhabited had been a kitchen and probably quarters for servants or other types of aid. It wasn't much, but it was far better than what I had been used to.

I slipped soundlessly down the dark hall, sliding my fingers atop the uneven boulders. I had come to know every shape and bump of stone on the way to his room. During the day when we usually slept, the hall was pitch black and impossible to navigate for someone with weak human eyes like me. I felt the familiar creased wood of the frame and slowly eased the door open. I wasn't sure if Zeke and Alex knew where I spend my days sleeping. If they did, they never said a word about it. But I didn’t really care anyway. Not that I had ever heard a word come from Zeke, he never spoke, not to me.

I didn't have to make my presence known, I never did. Connor was a light sleeper, if he even slept at all. I heard the familiar sound of rustling sheets as he lifted them for me to climb in. His breathing was even and shallow.

There weren't any flames in the fireplace, just red hot embers that gave a faint glow, but it still didn’t help much for me to see. I took the seven and a half step until my knees hit the soft edge of the mattress. I dented the bed with my knee as I climbed up and settled into the darkness. Softly and without a word I was tucked in. I breathed deeply to sense the soft scent of Connor – the smell that was all grass and life. Kind of odd, considering he really was dead.

Connor was the one I had gotten to know, the one I understood for the most part. In the beginning I saw him as cold and detached, void of emotions and humanity, but I had learned nothing was further from the truth. He just had a very practical and scientific way of going about things. He was never overtly emotional, lacing things in sobbing heartbreaking details or letting the gory misery of my state get to him. This was what I understood.

The only one time had I lost my sanity here; was when I couldn't hold back the pain and realization that Jayson was really gone, that he was dead, that he had been killed. Alex had hissed at me for my irrational behavior and I had made an attack at him trying to strike him with my fist in frustration. It was Connor who had strangely given me what I needed. He had been a physical restraint holding me firmly until I stopped fighting him, then he had taken me to his room and explained calmly he knew I was grieving and that he understood. That was the night our friendship had started and I returned almost everyday when we slept. Alex wasn't happy about the hitting though, he was hung up on manners that I seemed to be lacking. We generally didn't see eye to eye on many things so we just stayed out of each others way.

I stayed still, knowing sleep would evade me. I had been dreaming about my mother again and she had been raped. My mother being degraded and brutalized was worse than remembering my own assaults. I couldn't bear anyone hurting her. So since I wasn't planning on sleeping anymore and I knew Connor was awake I better fill the emptiness with something.

“Who turned you? Was it Alex?” I asked.

Connor laughed cynically and I felt him shake his head, making sounds with friction. He was better at it, not startling me with his inhumane speed and sudden appearances.

“Or was it Zeke? Is he your creator?”

“None of the above.” Connor finally answered. There was a slight edge to his voice.

“So who created you?” I turned to my side, instantly feeling more comfortable as my belly was getting heavy and squashing my lungs.

Connor slowly peeled his eyes open, the red circles glowing like embers in the darkness. It was freaky as hell, but I had gotten used to it, but it still rattled my cage a bit though. “It doesn't happen that way.”

“Then how does it happen?” I asked honestly.

“Because man decided to play God.” He said softly.

“You lost me.”

“Okay.” Connor sighed. “What do you think you know about us?”

“I don't think... I know.” I countered, feeling slightly insulted. “But you were created, bitten by a vampire, living forever, drinking blood, allergic to sunlight, immense strength, hard to kill, et cetera et cetera.” I drawled and rolled my eyes.

Connor chuckled. “Well, unlearn some of that. It’s not all true. It is what they want you to believe.”

“Who are they?” I frowned.

“The ones who played God.”

I stared at him, only seeing the contours of his angled face. Then Connor told me a story that shook my beliefs to the marrow of my bones. I listened attentively as it was so shocking he couldn't possibly have made it up.

“Vampires, people like me are not a creation older than time. Actually, we are much younger than that. Alex and I are the same age, our second age, we were created at the same time. What you think you know about us, is exactly what they want you to believe. You see, the myths about blood drinkers have always existed, they just used them to cover up their failure and their man-made monsters.” He paused. “About two hundred and fifty years ago they became arrogant and reckless, they thought they were smarter than life and god and they started tampering with the human genes. They wanted to create a life expectancy far longer than your average human eighty something years. It was a big mistake. Tampering with something they thought they understood, they created something they couldn't control – the Anti God. The Vampires. Us. They succeeded in altering the life expectancy as they wished, but suddenly they found their creations were extremely long-lived and very hard to kill. Along with the changes, side effects occurred making us superior to them. We grew immensely strong, rage filled. Our diet changed. We started lusting for blood instead of bread and water. Our senses heightened, eyesight grew intense like an eagle, sense of smell like the one of a bloodhound and hearing like a wolf on the hunt. Everything changed and we became very dangerous. Most of us lost our humanity, those are your common drain-your-body-bloodsucker you have been attacked by in our streets. After a while they figured a solution to the problem with crime and crowded prisons. They set the uncontrolled monsters free behind the fence, giving nature a chance to work. They took advantage of the natural food chain, let the strong pray on the weak, basically setting the vampires to violently reap out the crowded imprisonments. Then came the cover up. They blamed the myths and made it publicly known that these monsters existed and weren't myths at all and they could prove it.”

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. It was deadly quiet and I couldn't stand it. “So what is with the burning in the sunlight?”

“Another side effect. To prolong our age; the membrane, our skin grew fragile and to sensitive for the UV rays, but strong like kevlar at the same time.”

“Fangs?” I whispered.

“You personally know we don't grow them. That’s why a vampire bite is so painful. My teeth are almost as blunt as yours. Imagine how I would feel if you bit through my skin.”

“Awful.” I hesitated. “Then why do you need to drink blood?”

“I need blood like you need water – to replenish my body. I need to have fresh donated blood in my system to function.”

“Will you die if you don't?”

“No. I would just slowly deteriorate, wither away, but I won't die, not for a very long time at least.”

“What about the blood from a baby? Why exactly do you want it?”

“Stem-cells… they have the ability to become anything or everything in your body, they are ultimately flexible, our antidote you could say. You need to understand that all of us would give anything to be human again. To see the sunlight, live our lives, have children, grow old and die, to have what they took from us and not be a blood-drinking monster crawling through the night. Even those of us who have lost their humanity – they are the ones hungering for salvation the most. It is what they want and these stem-cells exist in your body right now. That is why they all want you. What you carry inside of you can 'heal' them, mend the altered cells and give them back their humanity.”

I coiled my hands around my belly protectively, refusing to let the hellish fact get the better of me. “Breathing? Do you need to?”

“Mainly yes, but I can go without oxygen for quiet a while. But if I breathe it makes the blood I drink last longer in my body. I need to feed less if I breathe. Also it is a habit that is hard to kick.” Connor smiled thinly.

“Why did you agree to let them do this too you?”

“I didn't. I thought I was entering a cancer research project. They didn't tell me they were the real cancer.”

“So they risked your life without even telling you?” I asked incredulously.

“No. They took it when I thought I was helping people, doing good for others.”

“What about Alex? Why did he join?”

“Not my place to tell you.”

“Zeke?” I shuddered slightly at the mention of his name. He was the only one here actually making me feel threatened. He was always watching me, evaluating my moves, picking up my scent. At one point I had woken up with his bone pale body crouched over my bed, bearing his teeth and snarling. That was when I had screamed for Connor.

“I don't know much about him, only he was sick when he joined the program. He suffered from albinism, that is why he looks so different even from us.” He sighed. “But he is losing his humanity. He used to have the kindest soul.”

“Would my blood save him?”

“It might.”

“Why are you in here then? You haven't lost your humanity?”

“Alex and I faked it. We made them believe we were savages, so they put us in here.” Connor said

“But why would you want that? This place is hell!”

“To you it is hell, but it is almost a heaven to me. I have the closest thing to freedom here I will ever know.”

“Oh.” I gasped, hearing him verbalize the opposite of how I felt about this place.

“But if your kind are so dangerous, why didn’t they destroy you when they had the chance?”

Connor hesitated. “Would you destroy the strongest weapon you ever created? Would you seek the demise of your ultimate defense if you were attacked?”

I stared at him. I understood perfectly what he meant. I didn’t need to answer him; he knew I saw his point.

“Why are you here?” He countered.

“My father. He put me here to get me out if his sight. I was an ignorant girl and I inadvertently caused my mother’s death. He loved her much more than he loved me. He blamed me for her death. He was a man of means and he was high up the food chain with... them I suppose, so he disposed of me here. I figure he thought I wouldn't make it through the first night, let alone three years.”

“So what happened to your mother?”

“There was this old boat house at the back of our property and my dad had told me to steer clear of it. It was condemned and to be torn down, but I was curious and the boat house was fragile. I convinced my mother we should have a look around and the house collapsed on us. I escaped the accident unharmed. She was hit over the head with a wrought iron beam, bashing in her scull. I was trapped in the debris with her for hours and watched her die. Her gurgling and chocking noises were horrible, but my father leaving me here was much worse, I think.”

“I think so too.” Connor offered sympathetically.

I fell asleep with my entire world uprooted once again. These soulless creatures I lived with were not soulless at all. They were merely men trapped in a quagmire they didn't wish to belong to.

I opened my eyes late into the evening. I could hear voices from down the hall. Maya was laughing today, that didn't happen every day, but it was a light and easy sound, so pretty and rare for her. Today was a good day. She wouldn't be paralyzed by nerves or fright.

I made my way to the kitchen where Zeke hissed at me the second he saw me, but today I wasn't scared. Instead I felt a pang of sympathy for him, he was a person underneath all the menace. He packed the odd electric devices he always fiddled with and vanished into the streets. He did that every day. A soft and gentle person might try to talk to him, but that wasn't me, so ignoring him was my best offer.

I smiled a thinly at Connor. He was the one who was bantering with Maya and making her laugh. He looked at me momentarily and I instantly knew our friendship’s balance had shifted ever so slightly. Now I didn't have to imagine what he used to be before his leechy tendencies had been trust upon him. Now I knew he used to be just a man and wanted to be that again. It made him all the more human.

I roamed through the kitchen area and fixed myself something to eat. One good thing about shacking up with vampires was they certainly knew how to bring home the food. Ironic, when none of them ate. But Maya did to keep her strength up from the constant draining of her blood to meet Alex's insufferable needs. I mainly ate so much as I was just hungry. To say I had put on a few pounds would be an understatement.

I sat down next to Connor and watched him trying to teach Maya a simple card game. It was amusing how little she grasped of the rules, but today she only laughed it off. Had it been tomorrow she might have thrown a fit or burst into tears. You never knew with her, but Connor never lost his patience or raised his voice to her.

Alex appeared out of nowhere, his jacket damp and his hair moist from rain I guessed. I never went to the streets anymore as I had no need to now. He glared at me for a moment then coldly he nodded his head at Maya. She responded immediately and followed like a dog on a leash behind him. I hated sitting here, watching as he was about to have his way with her.

“Why does he treat her like that?” I hissed.

“He treats her like she needs to be treated.” Connor said pointedly, not offering any further explanation. I ate the last of my food and stared at the dark hall. I excused myself to the bathroom, with a different motive in mind. I was glad my socks muted my steps going deeper into the hall. Warm light shone warmly from rooms on both sides of the hall, but when I heard the muted voices my stomach churned. Right behind that door Maya was forced to give him her blood again. Like a calling of my will and to quench my curiosity Alex's door fell open ever so slightly and it added another amount of light in the darkened hall.

I stepped to the side and placed the side of my face against the stone wall. Their voices were low and private as they murmured.

“Neck or thigh?” Alex said. I swallowed back bile. He was giving her a choice - how fucking noble of him! It was like being asked would you rather be deaf or blind. I knew my answer to that one – neither! I couldn't help appreciate Connor never assumed my blood was his for the taking because he let me sleep in his bed. He wasn't heartless like Alex.

“Neck. My thigh is still healing.” Maya said softly, her voice smooth.

“Okay.” There was a slight commotion and then rustling of sheets. My curiosity spiked again and I tilted my head and put my eye to the crease of the door. I found Alex's bed was directly in my line of sight. I watched Alex remove his shirt and his skin glowed pale and perfect in the light from the fire. I didn't understand why they bothered with it as they would never in a million years get cold. He sat down on the edge of the bed and glared his usual hard stare at Maya.

“Come to me.” He ordered.

Maya with her well-ingrained lap dog manners did as she was told. Alex scuttled back slightly on the bed and parted his legs. Maya sat down between them with her back to him and I expected he would just dive in and ravish her neck sinking his teeth into her. But he didn't.

With his large hands he gathered her hair and started braiding it. With his knuckles he caressed her neck were a multitude of scars were prominent and purplish.

“Lie down.” Alex ordered quietly and once again she obeyed. I had to control the building hiss inside of me. He would take her body too? That son of a bitch! I hadn't known he was that big of an ass. Actually I wasn't exactly sure what their male anatomy was capable of.

Half naked, he climbed over her and dived to her neck. Once again I expected him to open her vein and fill his own need, but Maya showed no tension whatsoever or reveal the pain a bite would deliver. Instead she sighed and her eyes fluttered closed.

I watched dumbstruck as Alex made no attempt to feed from her, but instead it looked like he was caressing her with his mouth, nuzzling her skin and Maya didn't respond like any other human would to an agonizing vampire bite. Instead she moaned content, her toes curling oddly and her hands fisted into the sheets like she enjoyed it. He uncovered her chest carefully and my eyes widened as he moved his mouth over her breasts. His hand shifted down and slipped down into her pants. I couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but I knew the basics of it and it always hurt. But I just didn't understand her reaction. Her body started to arch up towards him, spreading her legs wider, snaking them up along his hips and the contented moans changed to groans. Her breathing changed erratic and her noises grew louder. They kept this strange game going for a few minutes and then her body started to convulse.

“Now Alex.” She groaned as her body turned liquid and arching closer to him. Maya was the one ordering all of a sudden. I had a hard time imagining Alex taking orders from anybody, let alone Maya giving them.

Like the strike of a snake he sank his teeth into her neck and she groaned a guttural and primal sound that was out of this world. She kept these strange noises up for about a minute as Alex's hand stayed buried in her pants and he sucked the blood from her open vein. Her face distorted into a grimace that was both pain and pleasure.

Slowly her body started to relax as she sank down onto the bed again. She sighed lazily.

My stomach snarled loudly and I held back a gasp. But it was too late. Alex cold eyes flashed to me, his irises were wild and feral as he still had his teeth locked into her vein. He pulled free from her, blood on his lips as he drew back from Maya's neck in rage. “Sleep.” He whispered, and then drew his tongue over the bite, sealing it so the blood stopped running and the wound would start to heal.

It all happened so fast I only had time to take half a step away from the door. I felt the pressure of his hand around my throat, locking hard and squeezing the life out of me. “If you ever watch me feed again I will be the consumer of that baby.” He snarled. His eyes murderous and his face stone cold.

I tried to nod my head, but it was only a small tension of my muscles. I couldn't move. Alex drew his thumb across his lower lip that was glistening with fresh blood. He sucked the last drops from his finger provokingly while I stared at him. I knew it was a warning.

I curled my feet up and leaned against the warm wall beside the crackling fire in the kitchen. I wondered if I should count the last of my days or if that was a bit too morbid. I wasn't naive, the larger my stomach got, the closer I was to my death and I was in a vampire lair. I wasn't getting out alive. I sat wondering for a moment if what I carried in my womb really could mean salvation for Zeke, even if he took my life in the process.

The tiny hairs on my neck prickled and I knew one of them was near. Alex hadn't made a single noise entering the kitchen, but he leaned calmly against the wall like a statue that had been there forever.

I swallowed noisily and my pulse started to race. I knew he heard it, but I kept my mouth shut as that seemed to aggravate him less. It was silent for leagues of time only the subtle sizzling of the fire could be heard. I was here on his good graces and I knew it.

“I only do that to help her.” He suddenly broke the silence.

I stared at him. “Do what?” I murmured.

“She feels less pain if she is... comfortable... when I drink.” Alex said pointedly, verging on exasperated. Without another noise he left the room. I blinked and he was gone.

I kept my pose and wondered for a few moments what he had been talking about. In my mind I saw Maya trapped beneath him, convulsing, gasping, groaning and squirming. I wondered shortly if perhaps his hand between her legs could feel nice opposite painful. I wanted to find out.

Chapter Four

“Connor?” I called as I creased the door open to his room.

“Kenna.” He retorted without taking his eyes from his book. He sat on the floor beside his bed. I crouched down next to him contemplating how to start this conversation. I wasn't uncomfortable as he was always patient and reasonable. I was glad his way of viewing the world was practical and straight forward.

“Do you know what Alex does to Maya... when he feeds?” I asked, picking my start.

“Yes.” His brows furrowed slightly and he put the book down.

“Would you show me how that feels?” I asked keeping my eyes locked on him.

He lifted his gaze to stare at me earnestly. “Why would you want me too?” He asked quietly.

I wondered for an instant. “I'm curious.”

His eyes narrowed. “You shouldn't be.”

“Why not?” I countered.

“Why would you want anyone to touch you after all the rapes?”

“I want to know both sides. I just know the painful one. Maya looked like she enjoyed it... I wanna know that side too.” I said simply, keeping everything between us business. I just wanted to understand what it was Maya had felt.

“I see.” He nodded slightly.

“Do you know how to do it?” I asked, suddenly wondering if Alex was doing something different from others. I had never seen anyone use their hands or be that soft and gentle.

Connor chuckled, actually looking amused. “Yes I do.”

“Have you tried it before?”

“Yes... what exactly did you see?” Connor asked soberly.

“He put his mouth to her neck without biting her and he put his hand down her pants.” I explained.

Connor nodded. “You are not shy, are you?”

“Why would I be?” My body wasn't mine. It was just something that held my brain. A shell that had been taken repeatedly, I didn't really care about it.

“No... why would you.” He muttered. I didn't understand. He had seen me naked from the day I arrived, so why would I be shy now?

“So you’ll show me?”

“Sure, if you want me to. But my preferred way of making a woman feel what Alex makes Maya feel is a little bit different.”

“How?” I wondered.

Connor shook his head and smiled. He tapped his pointer finger to his bottom lip and laughed lightly. “Climb up, lie back... I'll show you.” He hesitated while I did as he ordered. The soft bed was comfortable and the sheets soaked in his calming smell. The red in his eyes was glowing in a different way than I had ever seen it. They were alive, like flames licking a piece of firewood they were about to consume. He moved to sit at the edge of the bed and leaned down on his hands, one at each side of me. He hovered above me, about a foot from my face. “You have to trust me and you have to relax.” He paused and his voice turned smooth and gentle, very unlike the way that anyone spoke around here, there were real actual emotions in there. It was a little like when Jayson spoke, I knew he cared for me and I him, it was a part of our lopsided arrangement. “I have a feeling you have never been touched in a way that was anything other than painful.” He waited and I figured he wanted my response, so I shook my head. “Okay, I will explain it to you so you don't have to be frightened and you'll know what to expect. In general I will touch your body, my hands will be slightly cold to you, but just push that back. Let go of your mind and just feel, okay?” I nodded. “I will touch you between your legs like you saw Alex do, but with both my hands... and my mouth.” He searched my eyes awaiting my approval so I nodded again, feeling a pang of strange excitement flare inside of me. Connor was like always, practical and informative. I appreciated it, he never lied to me and I knew I could trust him.

“Will you bite me also?”

“No, Kenna.” He mused. Very carefully he brought his hand up and stroked my cheek. I flinched a bit and was suddenly extremely confused at the way he touched me. It was so soft and gentle almost like the only time he had bitten me, back then he had gently kissed my neck. Now he was stroking my face in that same adoring way. I wasn't sure how to respond to it as I wasn't used to being touched like this. It felt good and it was frighteningly breaking my barriers instantly. Perhaps I didn't have a clue what I was really asking for. “I told you to relax.” He hesitated for a brief moment. “Close your eyes and just enjoy.” I followed orders letting the darkness overcome me. My breathing started to accelerate, but I didn't understand why I was suddenly so flustered. The first thing I felt were his hands at the hem of my shirt and I sat up some and let him pull it off. It left me naked from the waist up.

I was right, I hadn't known what to expect. What ever I did expect was certainly nothing like this. The kindness and adoration of Connor’s touch woke an unknown hunger inside of my body. He was so gentle and soft as he touched me like he said he would. He played his fingers over my breasts, used his mouth to place wet kisses at my neck working further down my body. I was a little worried when he peeled my pants off and I wore nothing, but my anxiety quickly dispersed. It was surprisingly easy to push back the cool breeze of his skin as he spread my legs wider leaving room to touch me between my legs with his mouth, just like he said he would.

I wasn't prepared for how my body reacted at all. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I whimpered and moaned as it tickled so deliciously from everything he did. And it just kept building relentlessly inside of me giving me no quarter, and when I finally did give into the strange and unstoppable explosion, I cried out loudly as an unknown calm started to spread within my body. I lay gasping and trembling on his bed as Connor removed his mouth from my flesh and pulled a blanket over my naked body.

I lay still for long moments coming to grasp what the hell just happened to me and not the least my body. I heard Connor throw another piece of wood into the fireplace, making the flames roar to life. I lifted myself to my elbow, clutching the sheets to my naked chest. “Why do you always have the rooms so warm? It's not like you'll get cold.” I asked puzzled.

Connor was crouched in front of the fireplace staring at the orange fire dancing. “No, but you will. You and Maya have spent enough time freezing. You shouldn't be cold in your own home.”

It hit me like smack in the face. Home? Did I have one now? A real home away from danger and starvation? Secretly I found that I did, and in the most unlikely of places. I stared at Connor as he slowly rose and stepped back to the bed. He settled next to me, resting his back against the wall.

I stared at his mouth and what he had just done with it. “Have you been with many women?” I asked.

“Not many, but a few.” He answered evenly.

“Vampires or human?”

“Have you ever been bitten by a female vampire?” He asked gazing down at me.

I searched my brain through countless attacks. “Come to think of it. No I haven't.”

“That's because there are very few female vampires.”

“Why?”

“During the testing and altercation of genes most women died, only a few took to the changing of their cells. I'm not sure why, but I think it is linked the female hormones, their cycle and need to change. And the few that did change, none of them lost their humanity, so none of them would be here.”

“So your women?” I asked curiously.

“All human.”

“How? I though it was impossible for vampires to be with normal women.”

Connor smiled softly, just a small pull at his lips. He gently placed his arm around my shoulder. “Was your pleasure impossible?” He cocked a brow at me and almost smirked. Humor was a rare thing around here.

Any girl might have blushed, but I didn't. I only reacted with a rush of blood through my veins. “It was nice, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome Kenna.” He murmured honestly, grave in his statement.

“Did you love any of your women?”

“I did... I was even married to one.”

I gaped at him. I had not seen that one coming. “Wow... what happened to them?”

“They grew old and died.” He said soberly, a flicker if sadness speeding across his face.

“But you won't.” I muttered.

“No, I won't.” He echoed.

It was silent for a long time, only the crackling in the fireplace could be heard. Somewhere down the hall the faint click of a door sounded. “Maya, how long has she been here?” I asked.

“Not sure. At least a decade. I tend to lose track of time.” Connor shrugged.

“Why is she so skittish?”

Connor sighed and placed a hand over my belly, stroking it atop the sheet. “She wasn't as lucky as you. She was bred. I don't know the exact number of children they took from her, but by the state of her female parts my guess is a lot.”

I stared wide eyed at him. I didn't mind the other women, but the thought of him and Maya rubbed me the wrong way. “Oh.” I muttered. And knowing what state her privates may or may not be in was just unnecessary knowledge.

Connor inclined his head watching me intensely. The red circles in his eyes glowing vibrantly. “What are you thinking?”

“What does Alex think of you and Maya?” I whispered fiercely.

“I see.” Connor nodded slowly. “Alex doesn't think anything. He brought her to me when he found her. She had given birth for who knows what time and I examined her then. That is how I know about her. She has been with us since then.”

I sighed felling a strange relief wash over me. “Thanks Connor.”

He nudged my shoulder and smiled knowingly. “Don't mention it.”

“So back to the whole vampire / human relationship debacle. Can they fuck?”

Connor sighed shaking his head slightly. “Sometimes you are so abrasive. Fucking is something you associate with rape, so don't use that word about sex. Sex and rape is not the same thing. Sex or making love is something different to people who care for each other, human or vampire. But to answer what I think you are really asking, if Alex is with Maya that way, the answer is no. She is physically too broken for that. You asked me once why he treats her like so coldly... it is the only way she knows and Alex has a connection with her none of us does. He can bring her closer to the real world, where she can function as best as possible. She is extremely traumatized.”

“Why does he keep on taking her blood then?”

“It’s what Maya wants. It is her way of showing him gratitude for taking her in. She is the one insisting he feeds only from her, not the other way around as you seem to think.”

I stared at him dumbfounded. An edge of jealousy bounced around inside of me, but I wasn't sure why so I changed the subject. “So you vamps work like normal men?” I asked curious all of a sudden.

Connor snickered. “Physically we do, but we can't reproduce.”

I paused all my questions for a short moment, but I had more unanswered things floating around in my head I needed to get rid off. “Why do you know all this medical stuff?”

“I always wanted to be a doctor, though, I never had the chance, but I picked up a few tricks along the way. And living in the hell hole as you say, it's necessary from time to time to know these things.”

I nodded knowing my decision was right. “If I gave Zeke the blood with the stem-cells would that save him?”

“Perhaps, but it is not an exact science.” Connor stared at me stunned.

“Then I wanna give it to him.”

“Why?” He frowned.

“Because you said he used to be kind. This place could use a little kindness.” I gazed down at my hands. I wanted my demise to do some good.

“Kenna.” He said softly and put a finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “I don't think you understand. You don't have to die here, none of us would harm you to get the cure to save us, not even Zeke. And if you wanna give the blood with the stem-cells, there are ways to do it without causing you or the baby harm. It is just the savages on the streets that haven't figured it out. A few breeders have and Maya can attest to that, but unfortunately not her lost children. But I promise you, no one here will risk your life. Your life belongs to you and until you find your way out of here you are under our protection.”

My cheeks felt wet and my vision blurred. I swallowed around a thick obstruction in my throat and tried to speak but I couldn't. Was I really that safe? Inside the fence I had always been the caretaker if not for Jayson, then for myself. But now someone was taking care of me and it was all too daunting to really take in. Could I allow myself to believe in Utopia?

I touched my fingers to his cool cheeks and pulled his face down to mine and kissed him, an endless kiss of gratitude. I lay my head against his chest and I cried. Connor didn't say anything, just stroked my wild hair.

I found myself going to Connor's room sleeping days like I used to, but now there was a different drive behind it. I had a thirst to quench. It was odd how days had changed things. During the nights we were awake, I hung to his every word and was electrically aware of his every move. I was so conscious of him every damn second and it irritated me. He rarely touched me in front of the others and it was only superficial when he did. But in his room things had changed. I had found a drug I consumed hungrily, but I didn't know why I suddenly found it so essential and intriguing, but I did. His soft touches, his gentle hands, and his cool wet mouth often sent me spiraling into another world repeatedly. I tried to keep my noises down, but Connor told me not to and I obeyed. I was losing my edge with him. I never spat profanities at Connor like I did Alex or Zeke, I was turning soft and docile and I wasn't sure I liked it. When you lived in a world like mine, you needed to have both your feet bolted to the ground and I found that harder every day I spent with Connor. I was relaxing and forgetting to keep my guard up. He had never hurt me, but I was constantly forgetting he was a predator and I was his pray; no matter if he said they would never hurt me. Facts were what they were – they were vampires.

After weeks of my new found drug, my curiosity spiked again and I couldn't stop staring at Connor's body. He touched mine with such comfort and ease, making me feel pleasure and I wanted to know if I could do the same to him. So I asked in my direct fashion and Connor answered in his practical way. Like everything else he did, he had explained it to me calmly so I understood. He told me how to touch a man for pleasure should I want to. He clearly knew my general knowledge about the male anatomy was limited to smashing nuts. I did want to try though and once again Connor was gentle and patient when I explored his body for the first time. I never minded his cool skin; it didn't seem odd to me anymore as it was who he was. I found when I peered at his eyes they were more gentle and his face was seem less sharp and angled. Looking at him I found him beautiful all of a sudden, small details perfected in a smile or a frown. Connor had changed – or had I?

Chapter Five

The screams kept building and I could no longer hold them back as they tore through my throat. “Please Connor it hurts!” I whimpered frantically. I had been chanting that line for hours now, though it felt more like days. Connor had done his best with his ability to dull my pain but it was too fierce for him to take it away completely. I was sweating, panting, thrashing every time the pain took over my body and ripped through my pelvis with renewed force. I was in labor.

A sharper pain rippled through my body and I couldn't stop from pushing. “Connor!” I whimpered.

“You're almost there Kenna! You're doing well.” He promised.

“Fuck you!” I spat and panted as the pain subsided, only to return about a minute later.

Connor had made all preparations to learn how to extract the blood filled with stem-cells I wanted to give to Zeke, without risking either me or the baby. But on the other side of the door was a snarling, hissing, furious vampire that wanted nothing more than to tear through the door and take what he wanted. Zeke was hanging on to his humanity with nothing but his fingernails. I hadn't seen him much at all the past few months. The only evidence he had been here was the gadgets and wiring he had played around with while I slept. But right now he could smell the blood streaming from my body and the cure that would save him - the rich blood from a baby and my womb. My only hope was that Alex would be able to hold him back or I was a goner.

I had wondered a few times how Connor was dealing with all that blood. He had what would save is soul in his hands, it was handed to him on a silver platter. It was literally right under his nose for his taking. The only thing I could do was trust him.

Maya was surprisingly calm with all my screaming and pleading. Softly she ran a cold cloth over my forehead. I had expected her to retrieve into a stupor and start banging her head against the wall, but surprisingly she hadn't.

“One more push and the head will be out.” Connor said.

I nodded frantically, bracing myself for the last contraction and it hit like a sledgehammer mere seconds later. I screamed and pushed with everything I had in me for what seemed like an eternity.

I slumped back on the bed at the point of passing out. I panted and closed my eyes as the pain was suddenly completely gone. A small, warm and slick body hit my chest and I instinctively wrapped my arm around it. An infant scream ripped through the room and I opened my eyes to stare down at the baby – my baby.

Peripherally I could see Connor working furiously with a large amount of red and calling Alex's name. But I didn't care. I just stared at the screaming child in my arms.

A loud bang and a commotion sounded from close by, but I was absorbed in the baby's distorted face. Connor hissed violently then a bone thrilling scream ricocheted off the walls and I only saw a shadow of Zeke’s frame as he bolted from the room.

Maya friction dried the small body, and then covered it with a blanket. She wept a bit, but was still reasonably calm.

“Zeke is gone.” Connor said gently. “You're both safe.” I just nodded, completely hypnotized by the screaming coming from my baby. “You should try to nurse.” Connor suggested.

“Nurse?” I glanced up at him confused.

“Yes, breast-feed.” He elaborated and I just gaped at him. Sure my breasts were swollen and leaking some sort of puss but I wasn't sure how to go about the whole thing. But I could count on Connor explaining the whole thing to me. I held the child to my breast just like he told me to. The baby started suckling, making small contented noises.

For days I was in a stupor, surprised I had survived the whole thing, which I hadn't expected by a long shot. My body was starting to recover and I was slowly learning the art of breast-feeding. It was a strange feeling, I felt warm and so close with the child every time I put him to my breast. Connor said it was natural and I just nodded.

I had given birth to a son and only one name seemed suitable. The friend I had lost, but his name shouldn't die with him. So I had named the baby Jayson.

Weeks passed, but Zeke didn't return. Alex took to the streets every night to search for him, to find out what had happened to him. We were all dying to know if the experiment had worked or not, but there was no trace of him anywhere.

The only evidence there was, was a strange contraption left on Connor's bed that I had found. It was seated there accompanied by a letter with my name on it. I had read it and known into the marrow of my bones I was right giving him the blood.

Kenna

This is your road to freedom.

The device will defuse the electricity in the fence between thirty to sixty seconds. Cut the wires and run.

Zeke

I had stared at it for an hour then shoved it into the back of a small closet. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone. Zeke had given me my salvation and I his, but I wasn't sure it was my salvation anymore. I had heard the fence would explode into daylight if a vampire tried to cross it, so if I ran Connor couldn't come with me. I hadn't decided if I would run yet and Connor would beg me to go if he knew about it.

While I had been with the vamps I had been safe, not a shadow of danger, well except for Zeke, but now he was gone too. So there was nothing left for me to run from. It might not be a place for a child, but according to what I remembered from my own childhood, this wasn't so bad. Connor functioned as a father, it was natural and honestly I didn't see it any other way. The baby slept in our bed between Connor and I. Maya fussed and hovered at any given chance and enjoyed having the baby around when she wasn't having a mental meltdown. Even Alex seemed less irritated with me at times, but I was still far from his favorite person. So for me this was more than good enough. It was better than the streets inside the fence, but perhaps it even better than the outside. I wasn't sure how I would fend on those streets anymore either. I was rootless except from here.

I stepped into the living room. Maya was crying again, her shirt pushed up and her breast exposed. I stared at Connor and Alex stunned. Softer than ever, Alex placed his hands on her shoulders and covered her chest again. Connor pried the blanket wrapped baby from her arms – my baby. Confusion rushed through my body and I stared at Connor.

“She tired to feed Jayson. She got confused.” He said. Gently he left Jayson in my arms and I pulled him to my chest to quiet his cries.

Maya sobbed louder and Alex pulled her into his arms and left the room with her. But I remembered what Connor had told me about her past, she had lost so many of her own children and I knew she didn't mean any harm. Though she could be a loose canon, she wasn't mean on purpose. I also understood the synergy between Maya and Alex; he would comfort her and soothe her distress now.

I waited in the hall as Alex had to reemerge at some point. Maya was quiet now. I watched the handle turn and I took a deep breath hoping for the courage to ask my questions. He barely glanced at me as he was about to pass.

“Could you tell Maya that I’m not mad?” I asked carefully. He didn’t seem in a particularly great mood.

“Already did.” He answered evenly and continued away from me

“Why do you hate me?” I blurted, but too late to take it back.

Alex stopped mid step. He didn’t turn. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then what is it?”

He sight heavily and brought his hands up and rubbed his temples. It was quiet for eons of time and I gave up on him ever answering me. “You look like my daughter.” He said quietly. Humanely slow he turned and stared deeply into my soul. “You are a lot like her, minus the bad mouth.” His lips twitched.

I gasped as Alex almost cracked a joke. That was a first. “Why did they change you?”

Alex frowned. “I almost died on the operating table. I wanted to donate my kidney to my son when he was going into renal failure. They told my family I did die and then they changed me. All we monsters were kept hidden and I knew I could never see my family again because all I wanted was to drink their goddamned blood.” He smiled menacingly. “Ironic isn’t it… saving you from the streets I see everything that I lost.”

My blood ran cold in my body. “I’m sorry.” I muttered.

“Thank you.” Alex answered. It was the kindest words we ever exchanged.

When Jayson was a few months old we had settled into a comfortable routine. Life passed with ease and comfort and I found there wasn't really anything else I could wish for. Connor kept stripping me of my cold street learned ways. I returned to the almost nice person I had been before I had watched my mother die and my dad had thrown me in here.

Connor and I hadn't gotten back to the intimate state we were exploring before the baby, but that was starting to change too. I felt it stir inside of my body and I needed to be close to him again. I needed to touch his body and I needed him to touch mine. We had never had intercourse, or made love as Connor always called it, but I found myself feeling curious about how that would feel too. Though I had sworn never to willingly surrender my body to any man, but I was ready to give mine to Connor.

One dawn I placed Jayson with Maya and told Alex to watch her. I had our room alone with Connor. My body was trembling and wanting when I naked crawled into bed next to Connor. I told him what I wanted and he made sure I was ready for that and I promised him that I was.

He was very gentle with me as his cool body entered mine. Sure he had said his body worked like normal human men, but he was unlike any human I had ever been taken by. He was reassuring and generous, conscious of my need and giving as he made sure I was enjoying it as much as he was. Words weren't enough to describe how he made me feel , but one word sprang to mind. Love. But could that be true in the most unlikely of places? We never said the words so how could I know for sure they were true?

Months later a sudden chill ran through the room, raising the hairs on my arms. I gazed at Jayson banging the spoon relentlessly against the table. He was growing at what seemed like impossible speed. Already he was more than capable of sitting by himself and learning to hit his mouth with a spoon, leaving an utter mess.

I yelped when he stood there motionless in the room. I stared at the icy blond hair and the reddish eyes. Our stares locked and he didn't waver in his gaze.

“Connor!” I called, backtracking to place myself in front of Jayson. It took less than a second until I wasn't alone anymore. Protectively Connor took Jayson from his highchair and cradled him to his body stroking his hair to calm him. I just stood frozen to the floor.

“Zeke.” Connor murmured.

He didn't respond or move.

The longer I looked at Zeke, the more I realized he was no danger to us, none what so ever. I finally found my mouth to speak. “Are you hungry?” I asked. His hair was longer and the small gestures of his hand less elegant and more clumsy. He nodded slightly. I moved across the room and took another plate from the cupboard and I fixed him a serving of dinner identical to mine.

Connor seemed to unfreeze and put Jayson back in his chair, but kept a solid stare at the returnee. I didn't know what to say so I acted like nothing happened and started eating my dinner. After a few minutes Zeke sat down across from me and lifted the fork to his mouth. He chewed slowly and swallowed the human food.

“Thank you.” He said after a while.

“You’re welcome.” I answered. Those were the only words we had ever spoken. Human or vampire, the experiment had worked. Zeke had changed back and his skin was warm again. Zeke was back and now his odd reddish eyes were kind. I understood what Connor had seen in him.

Our bed had turned conjugal with time. What was mine was Connor's and what was Connor's was mine. But since Zeke's return I had realized something. I needed the air cleared. I had secrets from Connor I didn't wish to keep in the darkness. I wanted disclosure.

“Are you mad I gave Zeke the blood?” I asked one night.

“No.” He said quietly. “I understand why you did it.”

I nodded. Relieved he didn't secretly blame me, but I hadn't even thought about saving Connor over Zeke, because to me Connor needed no saving. “Would you want to be reversed?”

He shrugged. “If I lost my humanity I would want to be taken out. Put down.” He answered evenly.

“You won't lose your humanity.” I countered. “But would you want my blood so save you?” He stared at me. “I could get pregnant again, we could have another child.”

“You know I wouldn't be able to make you pregnant.” His eyes narrowed.

“I know. But we could figure it out. We could save you to.”

“Kenna.” He sighed. “I am as good a father young as old and I promise to be there for you until you take your last breath of old age. I will be there for our son until he is no longer here, but I don't want you to save me. I don't want you swollen with another man's child.” There was an edge of possessiveness to his words I never knew noticed before. I didn't know what do say. I was eternally grateful when I kissed him fiercely, feeling heat start to boil inside of my body. Connor responded lacing his fingers into my hair. Our kissing deepened and our bodies hungered for each other.

“I have something else I want to give you then, something I want to try.” I gasped. I straddled his waist and lowered myself over him. He moaned softly and closed his eyes. I moved slowly up and down. “I want you to drink from me when we make love. I want to give my blood to you.”

He slowly opened his eyes, the red circles glowing with lust. “Why?” He muttered thickly. “I would never ask you to do that.”

I moaned as he pushed up from the bed and deeper into me. I groaned from the filling pleasure. “I want to be your everything.” I whispered possessively through my teeth and without thinking. If he didn't want me to save him I wanted him to feed from me and only me. As up to now he found his nourishment on the streets, but that was unacceptable for me now and in the future. I had gained full understanding to why Maya had made that demand from Alex.

He nodded one slow nod and flipped me over on the bed, his body still intimately joined with mine. I inclined my head knowing I didn't need to plea for him to take my blood, he wanted it. I exposed my neck ready for his bite. “I wanna feel the pain.” I panted and wrapped my legs around his waist. “Don't take it away.”

Connor didn't. He painfully sank his teeth into my neck and drank hungrily. His arms were iron grates around me, holding me chokingly close to his body as he made love to me and fed. It was utterly primal and binding like I hadn’t imagined it would be. The warmth from the intimacy and the pain from the bite concocted a strange potent mixture where I exploded into an erotic climax, so intense I would die for him.

We lay sated in bed and I needed to kill the final ghost haunting me. “Zeke gave me a way out.” I muttered and Connor tensed in my arms. “He made something that can bypass the fence.”

“I see.” Connor said softly after a while. “When will you use it?”

“When you will let me save you.” I countered snide, welcoming the impasse between our individual decisions – it was a nice catch 22.

Connor smiled and ran his finger softly over the ridges of the fresh bite mark on my neck. “Thank you.” He whispered warmly.