Chapter 15: Mistake

Elvirina 

I found my seat for the final class of the day and was expecting to do a little mental preparation for my rendezvous with Blake in about an hour. I wanted to be as prepared as possible leaving no room for mistakes.

There was a tap on the door and our teacher opened it. A small skinny boy handed a note to the teacher, who immediately turned and looked directly at me. I felt blood drain from my face faster than if I had my throat slit.

Oh no, Mom's forewarning!

I peered behind the skinny boy, but Headmistress Quellan was not to be seen nor were any of the other boys. However, I feared that something bad had happened again. My throat suddenly became dry. It hadn't been more than three days ago that a message just like this had been delivered and crushed Serenity and Illian's lives by taking their father away from them. I tried to breathe, but I couldn't even figure out how to get the oxygen into my lungs. They suddenly felt like iron cages in my chest.

“Elvirina, you should report to the headmistress' office.” My teacher didn't seem to be alarmed or at least concerned that my life was changing forever. Didn't we matter at all? “Elvirina. Now. Please,” she dictated.

I located my feet and got up, but my knees were wobbly. I staggered towards the door.

“You need to bring your things,” the skinny boy said after I dared a few uneasy steps.

That was even worse. I gagged while closing my book. Something was wrong. I knew it. I was just the one that they picked up first this time. I solidified the black walls in my mind. Joshwin shouldn't feel my desperation before he could be formally informed too. I didn't want him to be terrified until it was absolutely necessary. The teacher smiled indifferently at me as I walked out of the class and followed the thin boy. I started hyperventilating, forcefully hauling erratic breaths in and out of my chest without feeling any relief that the air should make in my lungs.

We turned the corner toward the main office, while getting closer to my doom with each step. My mind was in overdrive thinking what happened this time. Who had died or was injured to make my mother’s forewarning come true? My body was numb and overly sensitive at the same time. I felt a horrible humming mixed in with a dangerous nothingness.

The boy stopped in the middle of the hall. I heard hands slapping before I saw him. “Thanks, Trevor,” he said. My eyes were focused on the door to the main office, where my impending doom was waiting to be revealed.

“You're welcome,” the skinny boy answered. I turned to see with whom he was talking to and was stunned to discover Blake leaning against the wall in a nonchalant slouch.

“Hey.” He smiled widely, while I just stared at him with nausea still twisting my abdomen. Couldn't their friendly festivities wait two measly minutes?

“Pay up!” The boy, who I now know as Trevor, demanded.

“Sure... here.” Blake fished a bill out of his pocket and handed it to the boy. Seriously, what was the hold up? The others were probably already waiting for me. I was strangely itching to get this over with or, at least, to be with my family.

“I really need to go see...”

Blake cut me off. “No, you don't.”

“I do... I'll see you after class, maybe.” I started down the hall again.

“Hey, Elvia! Wait!” Blake grabbed me by the arm. “Wait, Elvirina... I’ll see you around, Trevor.” Blake threw him a warning glare.

“Later.” With that, Trevor disappeared around corner.

“Look, Blake. I really need to go. Headmistress Quellan sent a message for me to go to the main office.” I yanked against his grip on my wrist.

“Listen, no you don't! I made that note. I requested to see you.” He smiled triumphantly.

A heavy whoosh of air cursed from my lungs and my chest almost collapsed. “You did this?”

“I did. I told you that I needed to see you.”

“Yeah, I've been informed. Besides that, I said that I would see you after school.” When I realized there was no emergency, I was a little angry. No, I was really angry.

“Yup, but I didn't feel like having an audience.”

“There wouldn't have been.” My voice pitched in anger and relief. Then again, maybe there would have been spectators. I frowned knowing that I was pretty close to lying.

“Yeah, right,” he drawled sardonically. Agitation rolled around in my chest and Blake’s tone wasn’t helping. “Ugh...” He studied my face for a moment. “You don't look too good. You’re kind of pale. Well, you look more like a ghost actually.”

I closed my eyes, really letting it sink in that there was no emergency. “I thought something was wrong,” I muttered with my eyes closed.

“Something… something as in Serenity's dad dying?” He asked gently. I had to give him credit. He caught on pretty fast.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“I’m really sorry about that. I wasn't thinking.”

“No, you weren't.” My body trembled with all these intense emotions. I took a moment to make it stop and center myself. “So why am I out in the hall right now?” I gestured down the vacant stretch of school.

“Well, I'm jail breaking you. I told you that I didn't want bodyguard one, two and three hanging around. Seriously, what are they feeding you guys out in those woods?” I caught the unsubtle innuendo about our heights, but as far as apples and trees go, his physique apparently didn't seem to fall far from our tree.

“Same as you, it seems. Blake, what do you need to talk about?” I bit my lip nervously, knowing exactly what the choice of topic would be.

“I didn't want them hanging around because the subject might be a little... precarious.” His full lips donned a heartbreakingly dimpled smile. I blinked forcefully to clear my eyes, which seemed to fog over.

“Blake, just say what you have to say,” I prompted. I looked at my wrist and Blake finally let it go.

“Sorry. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for what happened between us. Well, not sorry as such, but I didn't mean to get you in trouble. I didn't want to risk them overhearing because I was afraid that would just make things worse. To be clear, I am not exactly sorry that we kissed, but I don’t want to cause problems for you,” he said. I suddenly felt like my body was soaring though the air. “I liked kissing you,” he said quietly. I blinked rapidly while a ghostly mist crept into my vision obscuring the world around me. I struggled to keep focus.

“Thanks, but there’s no trouble. He already knows,” I mumbled.

“Really?” Blake scoffed. “How?”

“Huh! I thought you were smart... I...” I hesitated briefly, “told him.” I wasn't about to be overly informative and give him any more details about our affinities. I already told him way too much this morning. I bit down on my thumbnail, which had been recuperating for more than more than a day now. That seemed to be sufficient. It eased my nerves to chew it to bits.

“Why would you do that?” His tone of voice was seriously questioning if I was reasonably sane. I probably wasn’t.

“We don't have secrets from each other,” I grumbled trying to avoid the fuzziness in my head. What was that?

“That was clever.” He teased. “I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay with you.” I stared at him. There was something about his eyes. Something mesmerizing. Besides, watching his lips move as words flowed from his mouth was deeply hypnotizing and making me drift deeper into the obscuring fog.

“No alarm. I'm fine,” I breathed.

“As I was saying, I'm not sorry that I kissed you, but I need to know that you are okay with it too. It's not really my style to get all swept up in the moment like that.” He laughed softly.

I raked through my hazy mind trying to remember why I had agreed to talk to him in the first place, but it was so hard to see it. I knew that it was there, but it was wrapped in something that I couldn't penetrate. I couldn't get the essence out in the open. “I didn't mind.” I knew it was my voice, but there was no way that I gave my mouth permission to say that... did I? That wasn't what I was supposed to tell him.

“Didn't mind, huh?”

“No,” I whispered.

A warm hand palmed the side of my face and then he closed in after a swift look to each side. A flicker of awareness told me that this was wrong and that I shouldn't let this happen, but I closed my eyes and surrendered.

Something warm and wonderful touched my lips. The smell was like forbidden fruit, but it was so alluringly sweet that it made me crave it all the more. I parted my lips, letting him taste me. The kiss was overwhelming. There was nothing now telling me that this was wrong. All I felt was a rightness that made all of my confusion suddenly make sense. This was meant to happen.

He looked down at my face for a long moment, probably searching for something. I was utterly absorbed in his intense gaze. His eyes narrowed like he was calculating something. “Come.” His fingers laced through mine and I latched on.

“Where?” I asked, while following blindly behind him and letting myself be pulled away.

“Out of here.” His voice was appealing, but nonetheless determined. There was something that he could offer me, something that I wanted desperately and that felt so right that I was shocked that I hadn’t noticed it earlier. I had been fighting these emotions with all my might, but now that I let myself feel it, it was an overpowering aphrodisiac. It felt absolutely thrilling.

I stuck to his side, grabbing his hand and surrendered myself to whatever he was willing to give me. I couldn't tell how long it was that we were in the car or where we were going. I couldn't focus on the road or remember how many turns that he'd made. I knew that he pulled the car into a garage because all of a sudden everything was lit by fluorescent light. There were other cars here, but it was like they had no color or make. They just had a shape and were parked.

He got out of the car and my door was opened before I knew it. I felt a little slow and sluggish like I had been drugged with one of my mom's hallucinogenic potions. The warm hand was back in mine again as we walked a few flights of stairs, strode through a large room and suddenly, it was bright again. More stairs were leading to an upstairs apartment. The sun was coming through the large windows, but I couldn't see clearly. It was like a thin sheen of fabric was covering my eyes and I was watching it all happen through the fibers.

After he closed the door that we just entered, he smiled shyly and shrugged. “This is my house.” His husky voice was more attractive than ever. I didn't remember asking where we were.

“Nice,” I answered without even looking around. I just watched him closely to make sure that the blurring fog didn't start to erase his face too. I wouldn't allow that to happen.

He took a few pensive steps toward me, but I didn't really see why he was suddenly hesitant. He hadn't been before, so, why now? He placed his hands at each side of my neck and began rubbing his fingertips gently against my skin in short kneading strokes.

He looked down at me with a strange content look in his beautiful eyes. I reached up to touch his honey blond hair. It was soft and had a silk-like texture to it as I weaved my fingers into it. He was so tall that I needed to reach up high to touch him. I took one stride backwards and stepped up onto the futon behind me, which gave me almost a foot more height, so that I didn't need to crane my neck to face him. The energy in the room was beyond intense and filled the air with electricity. It almost felt gratifying.

The intensity in his eyes made it perfectly clear that he wasn't fighting anything, nor did he plan to this time. He moved his hands down and grasped my waist. Warm hands slid under my shirt, but he didn't break eye contact. His gaze only seemed to make the fog even heavier.

He removed his hands from under my blouse and pulled his shirt over his head, exposing a broad chest that made up his gently muscled frame. He was athletic, but lanky. Muscles and sinews ran under his skin in beautiful patterns.

“Can I?” he murmured close to my ear. My eyes were still on his bare chest and my answer was wordless. I put my arms over my head, making it easy for him to gently pull my shirt off. His sweet and wild smell lured me. It was like pouring gas on a fire and making my insides flare out of control. He leaned his forehead against mine, while gently tracing his fingers over my shoulders.

“Say the word and we stop immediately, okay?” he said softly. “The choice is always yours.”

I was a bit confused. Why would he want to stop this? This was perfect. I had nothing besides a hunger that I'd had for days now. Everything inside me was out of control and I wanted it to stay that way until my hunger was satisfied.

“I don’t want to stop,” I whispered. Less than a second later, there was a light snap from behind me and I felt my bra loosen around my chest. With a feather light touch, he brushed the straps off my shoulders and the item fell to the floor with a muted thud.

His lips moved up in a tiny smile when my eyes met his. I didn't understand it. It wasn't victorious. It was closer to grateful.

His lips finally closed around mine. The feeling was warm and tantalizing. The strange energy was snapping and humming as our mouths moved. He wrapped his arms around me, locking me against his chest. His eagerness was hardly cloaked with every sweep of his tongue. My lips moved with greed and burning intensity against his. He was gentle and giving me everything that I wanted. Dropping my hands lower, I fiddled with the button of his pants and opened the top one. Ecstasy took over when I felt the hard swollen ridge just behind the fabric. I sculptured my hand to accommodate the shape and it was like my world flipped on its axis. He felt so powerful and heat drifted south in my body with alarming rate. I wanted this. It was in my nature to want this to happen. It was like an undeniable need coursing through my body.

His breath fluttered.

I made swift work of his pants’ opening, and then he stepped out of them. At the same time he looked in between terrified and exuberant. With a steady hand between my shoulder blades, he guided us down to the bed.

His hands were lingering around my pants like an unspoken question.

“Go ahead,” I said and arched my hips off the bed. In one fluid motion, he slid my pants off, as well as my panties. I lay naked and completely exposed on his bed. I didn’t feel shy or ashamed. Instead, I wanted him to see me. I wanted him to have my body and to touch me. I wanted it so badly that it was blinding me and the fog seemed to completely close in around me. My head whirled deliriously, while making it impossible to tell what was happening or how fast. My eyes fell shut and I let myself be dragged me into a darkness that consisted only of desire and passion.

He lay down on top of me, encasing me with his arms as we began to kiss. It was slow at first, but the yearning in my body was growing unbearable. Our legs twined as his hands slipped over my exposed skin, searching and teasing curiously.  I was being swept away by an undertow that pulled harder than freezing water splitting a rock. He was touching, kneading and pulling me closer in tune with our frantic kissing. I couldn’t help my inquisitive hands from drifting below his waist just to touch him and feel that tantalizing erection that he kept prodding at my hip or stomach every time he shifted his weight. It was all so fascinating and new.

When I opened my eyes to catch a glimpse of his face, my mind turned to mush. His eyes were closed with a serene expression covering his features. He looked to be completely lost in the moment. I closed my eyes again and absorbed his sensual ministrations.  He was nuzzling the peaked tip of my breast, bringing it into his mouth. It felt absolutely incredible.

My hands went exploring again and soon figured out how to remove the remaining barrier between us - his boxers.

He kissed me lightly and smiled cautiously. Our heavy breathing was gone. It had been replaced by an eerie quiet, like the calm before a storm.

My arms were locked around his neck holding him possessively to me. My body was growing tense now that he, too, was naked. I gulped lightly. So close... I was so close now.

He gently pushed at the soft inside of my thigh, while guiding my leg outward. I moved willingly, but the tension in my limbs and stomach still remained.

“There’s still time to stop,” he whispered, while running his nose along mine.

I fisted my hands in his soft hair. “I don’t want to stop,” I breathed. The mere idea of foregoing this chance to be with him seemed ludicrous. Didn’t he feel how right this was?

He answered my unspoken question. “I’ve never felt like this. I never wanted anyone like this.”

I bit down on my lip celebrating the fact that he wanted it too. He did feel this unnamed need to be together.

“Try to relax... I'm here,” he murmured softly. I completely trusted him, so I drew in a deep breath to calm myself. “Ready?” The suppleness of his voice was overwhelming.

I nodded my head slightly once.

His lips lightly touched mine, before I felt him warm and hard between my open legs. He was strangely firm against me, but tender at the same time.

I curled my fingers harder into his hair when I felt him start to invade my body. The feeling of being stretched like this was so tantalizing, but yet somewhat scary. He felt incredibly powerful braced over me. I held my breath.  With extreme care, he moved again by pushing harder and going deeper this time.

My breath fluttered and I swallowed thickly. I was suddenly so nervous. The ache in the deepest parts of my stomach was begging for more, but the stretching of my body down south was unexpected and overwhelming. I gasped loudly when, for one second, there was a sharp pinch of pain, then everything seemed to even out. It didn’t hurt as much after that. It was more like a pain that was just teetering on the edge of something deeper, almost life changing.  

“You okay?” He asked fretfully. I couldn't speak. I didn't want to poison the magic with words. The only thing that I could hear was the pulse in my ears, just thudding away. I nodded keeping my eyes on his.

“Okay,” he acquiesced. I felt him move again and it wasn't a cutting pain, more like a seductive ache. This was what I’d been searching for. The controlling roaring hunger tasted the pleasure that would satisfy it. Finally, everything seemed to come together.

I was able to relax and let go of some of the tension holding my limbs in gridlock. He leaned down and kissed me with a little more eagerness. I felt his weight shift on me as he started thrusting in a careful and controlled rhythm. I closed my eyes and surrendered to this strange, but fulfilling pleasure.

The muted gasps were replaced with gentle pants. I felt him as close to me as he would or could ever be.  He was deep inside of me. I couldn't stifle the moan that the mere thought of him inside of me caused. I clutched my arms firmly around his chest, while burrowing my face in the hollow base of his throat. I tried to quiet my moans, but I wasn’t sure that I managed it well.

Our bodies were thrusting and pushing, while moving in perfect sync. Soon, I was arching to fill that void which all these unmet emotions had caused. As we moved, there was only a desire for more. My mind flooded completely with the powerful fog. I closed my eyes entirely succumbing to the deafening hunger. He was giving me what I wanted. I'd reached my goal. I was making love.

Time passed like hours and seconds at the same time. I had no clue to how far the hands on a clock would have moved if I checked. The hazing fog was thick and impenetrable. I couldn't remember where I was, but all I felt was tingling pleasure that overrode everything else.

I was brought slightly back to reality when he stopped moving. “Hey... are you there?” He asked in a slightly wary voice, but his breathing was erratic. He traced a hand over my forehead pushing stray hairs off my face.

“Yes... definitely,” I answered, while feeling like I was soaring through the air. His voice brought me closer to awareness. I was here and I was in heaven!

“Are you okay?” He asked concerned now.

“Absolutely.” A wide smile cracked my face. I was basically smiling like a goofy moron.  I kept my eyes closed for another moment. He snickered.

“Good,” he said, quite pleased. His weight vanished from my body and I felt slightly cold, like stepping out of a shower into a chilled room. The mattress dented beside me and I turned to see what he was doing. He lay on his side, resting his head in his hand and playing with a lock of my hair. He reached out and let the pencil-like end of the lock brush over my bottom lip.

“You're sweating,” I commented. His skin glistened in the light coming from over our heads.

“So are you,” he murmured, while leaning in and kissing me softly. I cradled his face in my hands. There was so much that I wanted to say and so many feelings for what we had just done, but I couldn’t seem to find the right words. Exhaustion made explanations so unappealing right now. I just wanted to bask in the afterglow of it all. We lay wrapped in a comfortable silence with our naked bodies intertwined. I savored the tranquility of the moment. He started to trace my lips, stroke my jaw line, and follow the contours of my ear and the length of my neck with his fingers. It was like a blind person seeing someone’s face with their hands.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “So delicate and exquisite.”

I leaned my face to his, while relishing his gentle touch. “Thank you,” I said as I didn’t know what else to answer.

“I'll be right back... stay.” He ordered, while giving me a content smile before he got off the bed. I closed my eyes again and enjoyed the last of the humming electricity coursing through my body. “Please tell me that I didn't hurt you,” he asked, suddenly sounding mortified.

“What?” I rose to my elbows.

“You're kind of bleeding,” he said apologetically.

“What?!?” I felt panic roar to life in the back of my mind.

“It's just a little,” he repeated ruefully, while casting a glance down on himself. I followed his line of sight only to see him flaccid with traces of blood of his skin. He suddenly gaped at me as color drained from his face. “Holy mother of God! Fucking Christ… you’re a virgin?”

I blinked rapidly. “Yes,” I was totally distracted, as I answered him. Like the crack of a whip, the fog vanished in less than a split second. Everything was suddenly crystal clear. “Oh no... no, no, no, no.”

When I ripped the sheets from my body, I saw the small spots of blood smeared on my inner thighs. I stared at him in utter horror. No, no, no, no, no. I chanted in my head. Then I smelled the sweet scent of life and love. “Oh my sweet Earth, NO!” I cried loudly. Frantically, I got on my knees on the bed. Something wasn't adding up... something was horribly wrong. It was something that the fog had obscured completely.

He looked at me like I was holding a gun to his head - he was panicking and was begging for his life. I tried to sort through the sudden chaos in my head. Mentally, I paddled though what had just happened.

My actions…

The consequences…

Where was I…

I quickly scanned the unfamiliar room. There was a huge window frame turning into a skylight that I had noticed, but not really seen. There were other things too, like a dresser, pictures and a desk that were all foreign to me. All of this was suddenly new to my eyes. Then I saw him. It was Blake, not Joshwin, but BLAKE.

Oh no Joshwin!!!  A voice screamed in my head.

Frantically, I clutched the sheets around me. With this new clearness, I saw what I had done and my heart plunged into an abyss. I had broken us.

“What the hell is going on?” Blake's grey eyes were consumed with panic and frantic questions. I didn't answer. I stormed off the bed in a headless attempt to do... to do what? I had no idea. “Talk to me, Elvia.” Blake tried to catch my face between his hands, but I dodged around him. He couldn't touch me, not now. “Elvia! You're freaking me out.” He finally had the senses to put on a pair of boxers.

I fought to keep the black walls firmly around me, but it was suddenly so hard now. It was like they had taken a liquid form and I couldn't hold on to them. They had transformed into a bucket of wet black paint that I couldn't stop it from slipping through my fingers. I couldn't hide this.

I had failed.

I had failed my soul mate.

I had failed my family.

I had failed my own existence.

I felt my body go numb and I slumped down on the edge of the bed.

Everything after that was a strange out of body experience. I could hear Blake call my name several times. Before I found my lips to answer, he had asked another question. It was confusing. I felt like I was stuck in a jar, which made all sounds and voices flow together and have a ringing tone to them.

“Mom... where are you?” Pause. “No, no, I'm fine.... I need... No. No! It doesn't matter, forget that I called.” Silence.

What sounded like pacing was sometimes interrupted by someone frantically calling my name. “Elvia... Elvia, say something.” Begging. “Tell me what I need to do?” More begging. Then there was pacing again. There was a thud, silence, then a thud again. More pacing. “Elvia?” Suddenly, there was a strange flipping noise, something like paper crackling. It happened many times.

My eyes were strangely staring without seeing anything. It wasn't like the blurring fog. It was more like staring directly into the sun. It hurt my eyes with too much brightness.

“No... it's, er… Caleb. Caleb Blake... well, Blake.” Silence “I er... uhm… I think, er... that Elvirina needs help. She’s in… trouble.” Blake's voice was mixed in with the ringing that I couldn't seem to locate. “She's at my place.” There was another pause before Blake gave out his address. “You might want to hurry.”

My mind, that an instant ago, had been so clear was now mostly a jumbled mess of words and sentences that made very little sense, like a poet’s unfinished collection. When out of order, the beautiful flow of a sonnet would have no meaning and be worthless, like me. I was worthless and had no meaning now. All I felt was a paralyzing pain.

“Elvia... he's coming to help.” I didn't understand what he meant and I gave up trying to comprehend what he was telling me. I felt Blake stroke my hair a few times, but time had never felt this insubstantial.

There was the vague sound of a bell before it went completely quiet for a while.

“She's in here.” I picked out the words through the ringing as I stared into a bright nothing.

“What happened?” A voice asked. It was a tenor that I'd known my entire life, but the voice was hard and unfriendly drenched with a coldness that made me shudder.

“I'm sorry, but you'll... understand,” Blake answered.

The familiar voice seemed to obliterate the obstruction that kept obscuring sounds. I heard their voices more clearly now.

“What did you do to her?” His tone was highly accusatory. Then, there was a whooshing of air past me. My vision was still impaired by the blinding bright light. “Oh no! Please no. Please don't let this be true,” His voice was in the room with me now and it was agonizingly defeated.

“I didn't know what to do,” Blake muttered. “It's like she's catatonic or something.”

“Elvie?” I heard Joshwin plead by calling my name. Through the blinding bright light, I saw his familiar face.

My soul mate.

I saw his beautiful face and his perfect blue eyes. I let my heavy lids fall over my sight, looking at him made the pain intensify and it sucked the air out of my lungs like a vacuum. His face was too beautiful to watch. “Elvie,” he called again, but I couldn't answer.

“What exactly happened?” Joshwin's voice turned arctic and hateful again.

“Exactly what it looks like,” Blake answered almost too quietly for me to hear. The ringing made it hard to keep the words apart.

“How could you? You knew about Elvie and me?” Joshwin spoke with detest that ran coldly down my spine.

“It just happened.”

Hands clasped my face. “Elvie… honey?” I couldn’t answer, but the timber of his voice sliced right through my heart. “Why the hell is she like this?” The silence was menacing. “What the hell did you do to her?” Joshwin practically screamed.

In the few beats of silence, something else threatened. Something that wasn’t true, but the blame would fall on Blake.

“I swear on my life that she never said no. I know that you don’t have any reason to trust me, but… she never said no.” Blake hesitated, as his voice trembled.

“That is fucking easy for you to say!” Joshwin spat.

The loud voice seemed to jolt my body into some semblance of a response. “He’s right, Joshwin,” I mumbled. not sure my voice was audible. I placed my hand over his on my face. I managed to lift my gaze. “I never said stop. He didn’t do anything to hurt me. It was all me.” I paused. “I wanted it and it was consensual. I never told him no.”

His hand fell away from my face instantly and he took a large step back from me. “You fucking did this on purpose, Elvirina?” His breathing was shallow and his gaze was absolutely tormented.

I nodded.

I closed my eyes and closed out the world. I couldn’t bear what I had done.   

Joshwin mumbled something that I couldn't hear right before a new silence dominated the room. I could hear Joshwin shuffle his feet. Was he leaving? Blake didn’t say a word as the tension seemed to multiply.

“What are you doing?” Blake's questioned. I noticed Joshwin's familiar scent closing in and then I heard him inhale close to my shoulder.

“Smelling her.” Joshwin answered icily. I wondered too, but I was so drained of energy that I couldn’t even keep my eyes open.

“Why?” Blake asked sardonically.

“Why do you think? Your scent is all over her,” Joshwin scoffed with disgust.

“My scent?” Blake snorted. “So?”

“So they'll know. They'll know that you've been with her.” It sounded like the words made Joshwin gag. His tone was utterly dejected.

“Who are they?” Blake asked.

“Our family.”

“Oh...”

“It's going to be a little more than an 'oh,' if our family finds out.” The hatred was stronger than ever and literally palpable in the air.

“Will they care?”

“Yes.”

“I don't mean to be an ass, but why would they care? She's what? Seventeen?”

“You stupid fuck! It's not about age! They would care because what you just did is extremely sacred to us.” Joshwin could barely retain his anger.

“So what's going to happen? You're not going to hurt her... right?” Blake sounded alarmed.

“No... that's not the way we live,” Joshwin hissed.

“So... she wasn't supposed to have sex?”

“Could you just get out of my face with all your inane questions? I really don’t want waste my time explaining this shit to you.” The timber of Joshwin’s voice was degrading. I felt the sheet being lifted around my legs. I still had my eyes closed to spare them from the white hot burning light and Joshwin's face. “She bled?” Joshwin sounded oddly strained when he spoke. I wasn't sure that it was a question.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her… She said that I didn't.” Blake's attempt to defend himself sounded unconvincing and weak, even to me.

“I'm not asking if you hurt her... I'm asking if she bled?” Joshwin repeated coldly.

Blake answered belatedly. “Yes. Just a little... I didn’t realize… I didn’t know that she was a virgin. Why does the blood matter?”

“Well, it’s a little too late for that. It matters because I can smell it.” The pain was thick in Joshwin's voice. I heard him inhale again.

“Can you actually smell that? The blood?” Blake asked astonished.

“Yes, I can. However, what’s worse is so can they.”

“They... being your family again? What does that have to do with the bleeding?”

I could hear Joshwin grit his teeth. “Yes, my family. The blood has a specific twist to it and my family will smell that if we go home like this. They will smell that it's not me all over her.” The rage was literally emitting from his body as he spoke. I sank deeper into the abyss that I was already soaring through.

“So you two never...?”

“No! Are you that fucking dense?” Joshwin snapped.

“This is getting really awkward.”

“You don't seem to be getting any of this, do you? I'm her soul mate. She’s in shock because she knows you two just fucking destroyed my entire future. So to put in into words you can understand, you took her from me. You stole what was rightfully mine! You destroyed us!” Joshwin breathed deeply, probably as a measure to get some control. “You ruined something that you have no chance in hell understanding. We don't live the way you do. We are wired very differently from your kind.” The last words were a demeaning mock.

“Does that mean that she's in a shitload of trouble?” Blake continued to prod.

“Yes and so am I.”

“God... I'm really sorry.”

“I don't give a shit about what you are or what you’re feeling. Just shut the hell up and get away from us.” Joshwin took a deep breath. “Elvirina... Elvie” Through the obscure clear haze, I noticed that Joshwin's voice was gentler now. “Elvie...” I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to make them work better. They met Joshwin's tortured face. “Elvie... what the hell have you done? How could you do this to me?” His voice cracked and broke.

I found my voice, so I could speak. “I don't know. I don’t know how it happened. I got so confused. I'm sorry... I... I...” I whimpered feebly. I stared into the eyes of my soul mate, whose heart I had just torn out and put under my heel.

“Elvie... you need to pull yourself together.” Joshwin begged. “Elvie, look at me,” Joshwin pleaded again. I realized that my eyes had fallen shut once more.

“Yes?” I could barely hear my own voice.

“I can't feel you,” Joshwin said. Carefully, his hands grasped my shoulders.

“What do you mean that you can't feel her?” Blake interrupted. I realized that I'd surprisingly managed to keep the black liquid paint free of holes.

“Would you just shut the fuck up and stay out of it,” Joshwin growled. His breath trembled. “Elvirina, you need to let me in,” he coaxed. I tried to think for a moment, but I couldn’t sort through the chaos in my head. However, I slowly let holes dominate the black paint, showing Joshwin just how much pain I was in.

Joshwin groaned in agony.